Austin Improv

... I hate cat littler but find it irrisistable

... I only take affection on my terms.

... I do whatever the fuck I want, whenever the fuck I want.

... will sit on your book when you're reading it.

... will let you know with violence that the loving is over for now.

...am NOT getting wet

... everything I do is PURRRRR-fect.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh man. I love this thread. Girl power!

... even when I lick my own butt, I'm still cute.

...can eat dead things, cough up nasty shit, and still be invited into your lap

...demand attention when I want it

...hunt with the stealth of a much larger cat, and like three times the adorableness

...I pee on your stuff when I am mad.
...I shred your stuff when I feel good.

... mere words cannot do me justice.
You may now prepare my dinner.

...Feline? Is that what you trogs call me? How droll. I plan on smothering you whilst you sleep, fur-less foodbags.

...I brought you the carcass of small dead mammal. It's on the front porch. Check it out.

...i make erin sneeze and her eyes water.

... my life has a soundtrack that only I can hear.
It goes with my secret name, that you will never know.

Lisa Jackson thinks I'm better than you.

... i like to chill in containers that are too small for me.
... i don't know the difference between a litter box and a bean bag chair.
... i am deeply offended when you are looking/touching something other than ME(ow).
... you won't see me until it's too late.

... they named a type of fever after me.

... skunks try and hide their stripes so they can do me.

... I can go from sleeping to 60 miles per hour in 0.5 seconds.