I'm such a Man that I...

TexasImprovMassacre · March 23rd, 2009, 7:19 pm

...voted twice.

...fought Jason Vines, and won

...poop standing up.

TexasImprovMassacre · March 24th, 2009, 7:31 pm

...wear purple but am NOT gay.

...only listen to metallica.

...drink a beer every morning in the shower before work.

vine311 · Post by **vine311** » March 24th, 2009, 8:06 pm

...wrap my toothbrush in bacon.

...wear Cody's pajama pants but do NOT sleep.

...can fart any song by Metallica.

TexasImprovMassacre · March 24th, 2009, 10:58 pm

...am eating frito pie while I post. I'm also punching steph in the face.

...hate cats.

....get what the game of a forum thread is without having it explicitly explained to me.

TexasImprovMassacre · March 25th, 2009, 12:12 am

...beat my girlfriend with a turkey leg.

...my sports predictions are ALWAYS accurate.

...am thinking about boobs right now...nice ones...

Lindsey · Post by **Lindsey** » March 25th, 2009, 12:11 pm

I can simultaneously hold the position of a male while actually being a woman.

know exactly how to please a woman.

can do a kickass Sharon Osbourne impression.

Belinda · Post by **Belinda** » March 25th, 2009, 2:04 pm

Can wear high heels, kick your ass, and do your girlfriend at the same time.

And if you don't think that's manly you've obviously never known a good drag queen.

vine311 · Post by **vine311** » March 25th, 2009, 2:42 pm

...am fisting you with my mind

...lived off of sand and anger for 12 years

...lost all of my hair

Dave · Post by **Dave** » March 25th, 2009, 2:53 pm

...would deep fry a tree.

...would get try to get the Earth and Neptune in a threeway.

...eat dinner for breakfast and breakfast for dessert.

...punch my feelings when they get out of hand.

...voted for Bush in '08

TexasImprovMassacre · March 25th, 2009, 3:31 pm

Dave wrote:...voted for Bush in '08

That's my favorite thus far.

...had an ipod installed in my brain so I can always be listening to St.Anger.

...care about who wins maestro.

....put roofies into the drinks of girls I don't even intend on molesting.

Mike · Post by **Mike** » March 25th, 2009, 3:51 pm

- use toilet paper made out of bark and industrial sandpaper.

- floss with barbed wire

- can kill you in 26 ways with a TV Guide.

- I make Chuck Norris uneasy.

- shop for medication at the dollar store.

mpbrockman · Post by **mpbrockman** » March 25th, 2009, 10:31 pm

-remove scabs with duct tape

-have genitalia that has been used as a model by the Dremel design team

-have remote surfing skills allowing me to watch The Daily Show, Sportscenter, Nightline, 100 Ways to Die, a UFC match and Reading Rainbow simultaneously with full comprehension and retention.

-have been with GGG for two years without catching PMS

-have to shave the inside of my back

-am big enough to admit that Ann Coulter is manlier than me. Really.

TexasImprovMassacre · March 26th, 2009, 5:38 pm

...hate the movie mean girls even though its by all accounts awesome.

...use sausage casings for condoms and then grill em up.

...recite the lines of rambo: first blood to myself when I can't sleep to help me doze off.

vine311 · Post by **vine311** » March 26th, 2009, 5:52 pm

...fit 10 pounds of shit in a 1 pound bag

...use tiny Japanese girls as house slippers

...scarred several children for life by pulling my thumb off

arthursimone · Post by **arthursimone** » March 26th, 2009, 7:21 pm

... fucked my own mother