take a punchline, leave a set-up

TexasImprovMassacre · February 25th, 2009, 1:47 am

What did the stripper say to the rabbi?

TexasImprovMassacre · February 25th, 2009, 2:56 am

"If I told my parents what I was doing, they would be ashamed of me"

What phrase did obe wan knobe say instead of "these are not the droids you're looking for", that sounded very similar but also had the word boobs in it?

HerrHerr · Post by **HerrHerr** » February 25th, 2009, 8:48 am

Stop looking at my boobs, C3-PO.

Why couldn't the Danish girl scout sell her cookies in Copenhagen?

EmilyBee · Post by **EmilyBee** » February 25th, 2009, 10:30 am

Because she already lost her cherry in St. Petersburg.

Why did the mayor sell his curtains?

Aden · Post by **Aden** » February 25th, 2009, 12:00 pm

'cuz they didn't match the drapes.

What do you get when you cross a grape vine with a red caboose?

vine311 · Post by **vine311** » February 25th, 2009, 12:05 pm

A really crappy animated series on Fox.

How many crustaceans does it take to food poison a Glee Club meeting?

TexasImprovMassacre · February 25th, 2009, 3:27 pm

It depends on what kind of chamber you have them showering in.

A banana, two oranges, and joel kieth walk into a bar

Lindsey · Post by **Lindsey** » February 25th, 2009, 3:31 pm

One orange says, "Who's the fruit?"

An elephant is sunbathing on his roof...

TexasImprovMassacre · February 25th, 2009, 3:45 pm

and it's also 9/11. The roof collapses, and the elephant is horribly injured but survives. While waiting for the ambulance to come the elephant says, "Oh Great! Another thing to never forget".

What does obama eat for breakfast?

HerrHerr · Post by **HerrHerr** » February 25th, 2009, 5:09 pm

Hope.

How many Princess Leias does it take to screw in a light bulb?

TexasImprovMassacre · February 25th, 2009, 6:42 pm

None, she has her servant droids do it for her.

Why shouldn't you eat pizza in Germany?

valetoile · Post by **valetoile** » February 25th, 2009, 7:42 pm

Because the Mafia is everywhere.

What's the difference between a catapult and Nancy Pelosi?

acrouch · Post by **acrouch** » February 25th, 2009, 10:42 pm

One of them is an ancient heavy siege weapon and the other, you know, catapults things.

TexasImprovMassacre · February 26th, 2009, 12:26 am

How come penguins are so cool?

arthursimone · Post by **arthursimone** » February 26th, 2009, 12:29 am

Because each and every one has been dead for several hours.

Why did the polygamist move to Tibet?