Austin Improv

I'm thinking about throwing a party Saturday.

This is just in the planning stages.

But, if I were to throw a party, would there be any schedule conflicts?

Of course, I don't even know if I'm having a party so this could all be moot.

Also: I totally did NOT cop a feel last saturday on purpose. It wasn't even a "feel" that I accidentally copped. More like a brush. I accidentally copped a brush.

If I was going to cop a feel on purpose, oh, yeah, I'd like... totally cop the feel with gusto. No... it was all accidental.

I am not a lecherous pig.

That doesn't mean that all women in the AIC aren't incredibly attractive, but that's mostly a personality thing because, hey, I already know that all the women involved in the Austin Improv scene have senses of humor and that's very attractive.

Also, they happen to all be like... what's the word I want to use here. All of them are for some strange reason and coincidence, people who are aethetically pleasing. This is not to say that it isn't more important what the personality and intelligence of the women of the AIC is, but rather just noticing a particular coincidence, where all the women of the AIC happen to score above, say a 72 percentile of attractiveness.

So I didn't want to give anyone the idea that I was like, some sort of depraved copperfeeler desperate lonelyperv.

I'm glad I cleared that all up.

I think a lot of people are going to be at the cast wrap-up for Whirled News.

And Jill was crying after what happened. CRYING. I had smack her on the ass and tell her to make me a sandwich before she felt better.

Pig.

Whew. It looks like you've still got a ways to go before you take the Creepy Championship away from me.

kbadr wrote:I think a lot of people are going to be at the cast wrap-up for Whirled News.

If I'm invited to that, can I bring a cake?

Brian Boyko wrote: where all the women of the AIC happen to score above, say a 72 percentile of attractiveness.

This makes me 72% uncomfortable.

Now you know what it's like to be me, a man who is 72% uncomfortable all the time.

say a 72 percentile of attractiveness

so.

does this mean the ladies of AIC are in the upper 28th percent of attractiveness?

or that 71% of non-AIC ladies are more attractive than the lot of us?

either way, i DO hope you will make the post WNT partay, captained by the incomparable tami nelson. who is definitely in the top 10% of RIGHTEOUS MUTHAF_CKIN BROADS.

THANK YOU E! I love the title of "Party Captain" -- which T most certaily does deserve. "Party Captain, Tami Nelson" has such a nice ring to it. But now I'm wondering... Is this a title that can be won or lost? And is there a oversize silver belt buckle (or other some accessory) associated with this title?

E--

Thank you for using the term "Broad." I respect you 14.7% more than I did before I read that.

erikamay wrote:

say a 72 percentile of attractiveness

so.

does this mean the ladies of AIC are in the upper 28th percent of attractiveness?

or that 71% of non-AIC ladies are more attractive than the lot of us?

either way, i DO hope you will make the post WNT partay, captained by the incomparable tami nelson. who is definitely in the top 10% of RIGHTEOUS MUTHAF_CKIN BROADS.

The CPI (Chauvinist Percentile Index) was developed in 1970 by Jerry Rosengarten, inventor of the leisure suit. Designed so as to provide an objective form of determining a woman's attractiveness relative to the other women in the world.

The system has come under considerable criticism because of perceived biases in the evaluation procedure. Redheads, for example, tend to score about 2-3 percentiles higher than blonds, who score about 1 percentile higher than brunettes. It also doesn't take into consideration the mysterious "inner beauty," and many suggest the CPI be replaced with testing that emphasizes the adaptability of beauty in additional situations, like, for example, under MBC (Male Blindness Conditions.)

Recent work by chauvinologists at the Bobby Riggs Institute has demonstrated links between CPI and the associated FPIMIT (Female Presence Induced Male Intelligence Tropism.)

Today, the most commonly administered CIP test is the WCIASE-III (Womanly Charms In Absurd Situational Events - Eye, yai yai!) test, originally developed by Dr. Benjamin Hill in 1974.

The CPI is a bell curve system, and while critics may point out that is an objectification of women, proponents often respond that at least it is a definitively objective objectification of women.

Be honored laidies of the AIC. Even the standard deviation is not to shabby!

-Dav

The men of AIC - not your standard deviants!