Austin Improv

Girls Girls Girls Expose The Available Cupholders Many Shortcomings
(by which we mean, yes, SHORTcomings)


They tried to keep us out of the workplace. They tried to keep us out of the government. In the past century, women have been invading so-called traditionally "male" arenas. The comedy club, however, has been properly stormed, years ago, by along list of successful female comics. Austin's only all-female improv troupe, Girls Girls Girls, know that if you want weiners, go to the supermarket. Only the most insecure boys resort to the retrograde and false assumption that "women aren't funny." Fear of rejection, male-pattern hair loss, embarrassing skidmarks, unusual odors, failure to complete maternal separation, the high cost of maintaining a large pick-up truck or sports car, and confirmed incidences of sexual inadequacy have rendered most all-male troupes bitter, hateful, and just not funny. The Available Cupholders are no exception.

The talented women of Girls Girls Girls have generously agreed to hold the hands and stroke the fragile egos of all-boy improv troupe The Available Cupholders November 4 and 5 at 10:30pm at The Hideout in the "Battle of the Sexes Improv Match." Having charmed the pants off of audiences for over three years now, the Girls know they are funny and stand to teach those icky boys a few things about comedy. You should attend this show knowing your ticket money will for for half classy, strong, unique improv, and half the Cupholders usual brand of tiresome, predictable dick-waggling. It will be a humbling experience for the Available Cupholders and an entertaining night of improv comedy for everyone else.

Oh sweet! The dick-wagglers are coming back through town. Woo!

Leave it up to a woman's argument to hold no water and merely be a string of unsubstantiated attacks about male genitalia.

The proof is in the pudding, ladies. Ask anyone male or female who their favorite comics are and you'll get a man first for sure. After that the list will consist of mostly, if not all, men. And for the record, anyone who lists Elaine Boozler has not seen enough of her material. Call me what you will. All I'm saying is, don't shoot the messenger. I can't help the truth, I can only serve to spread it around a little.
Everyone knows I love women. I love them when they smile. I love them when they wash the dog. I love them when they make me food. I love them when they SIT DOWN AND WATCH ME BE GREAT ON STAGE.

Jeremy Lamb

Did you hear the one about the guy going into the bar ? Did you hear the one about the two nuns ? Did you hear the one about the Aggie and the Texan ? If you've heard it all before and seen it all before, then you're probably watching the Available Cupholders improvise. These guys have more bits and gags than the Budweiser draft horses combined with Who's Line is it Anyway. The Cupholders (who recently advanced their improv careers from doing shows at McDonald's in Austin to shows on top of the Days Inn in Chicago) have challenged Austin's own Girls, Girls, Girls to a 'Battle of the Sexes' improv challenge on the premise of "women aren't funny". What an inventive way to provoke the ladies of Girls, Girls, Girls!!!!!!!!!!

While Girls, Girls, Girls are creating brilliant characters, powerful songs and detailed environments the Cupholders are preparing for this improv battle by polishing off their wigs, wacky shoes and other props to save them from doing any kind of captivating, smart scene work. Well, we've heard enough about the one dimensional comedy styling's of the Cupholders; the Girls will gladly accept this improv challenge!!!!!!!

The Ladies

Ask anyone male or female who their favorite comics are and you'll get a man first for sure.
That's true...Batman, Superman, Wolverine, males through-and-through, every one. No one reads Wonder Woman or Little Lulu.

Hey now, kids, let's settle down.
Maybe we should try and not insult each other here.
Save it for the stage.
That's where the controversy belongs.
Plus the burns will sting more in front of a live audience.

Back off, Beeler.

I don't care that you're a girl. I'll still punch your teeth.

Back Off, Beeler! would be a great catchphrase, band name, and/or 80's sitcom.

Oh yeah, Lamb?

I don't care that you're old. I'll still break your hip, steal your dentures, and cut out your tongue so you can't call for help.
Bring it, bitch.

Get your insults out now people,

in 20 years or less Robots will be the best comedians and improvisers in the land.

Men/Women/In-betweens won't even matter anymore. Yeah, Girls Girls Girls woo! and the Available Cupholders! woo! Cheer for them and hug them and make sandwiches for them and rape them now...

because in 20 years or less it'll be the robots doing all of these things...

and more.

Tonight it is Cadmium-shelled androids versus Thallium-coated anthrobots! It's going to be a classic match-up. So, put those articulated terminal grabbing units together in a repetative motion and make some whirs and clicks for ROBOPROV Version 4.3!

Hey now, kids, let's settle down.
Maybe we should try and not insult each other here.
Save it for the stage.
That's where the controversy belongs.
Plus the burns will sting more in front of a live audience.

what happened to this beeler?

i want this beeler back because i can punch her.

the new beeler just called me 'bitch' on the internet. this isn't the beeler we fell in love with.

beard

This Beeler has to have some sort of defense mechanism, or she'll get taken over by all the boys while onstage.
If you don't cross me, everything will be just fine and dandy.

Oh, man!

Wesley wrote:ROBOPROV Version 4.3!

You know that Robotic Improv would be funny. ROBOTS VERSUS ORGANICS! (monkeys, pirates, samuri, ninjas, cowboys, you name it, it's going down).

But how can "RoboProv" compete with "BotProv XFS" (which I hear has a killer laser half-time display).

REMATCH!!!

And why has no one ever done that awesome idea of ROBOPROV??