Austin Improv

Blow intruders away without ever leaving the comfort of your bed!

What really freaks me out is that the dude looks something like my dad, who though he owns a shotgun would find this appalling.

Wow! Right at toddler level.

I love at the end when the announcer says "Many people are buying one for each side of the bed". Gives whole new weight to the saying "Never go to bed angry".

no more surprise steam rollers I guess

What was the inventor thinking?

"Hmmm... How can I quickly retrieve and store my shotgun without leaving the comfort of my own bed?... I really have too much time on my hands..."

All it needs is a place to put earmuffs/plugs, and maybe a cupholder for your beer, which should be made readily available.

GUns are for pussies. Does it hold swords?

Wesley wrote:GUns are for pussies. Does it hold swords?

You need a sword rack?!?!?! I just stab my bed!

apiaryist wrote:

Wesley wrote:GUns are for pussies. Does it hold swords?

You need a sword rack?!?!?! I just stab my bed!

If Wes stabbed all his swords into his bed, he'd have nowhere to sleep.

I am a Texan from a military family, and my dad made me keep a shotgun under my bed for several years. My dad was concerned that I was unsafe living alone. He thought that just the noise of the shot gun cocking would scare off any intruders.

I always thought, "How am I going to get that heavy thing out from under the bed, out of its case, load it and cock it -- all under the pressure of having someone in my house -- without hurting myself or worse, letting the intruder come and take it and use it on me."

This would have helped, I guess, but there was no way I was going to use a gun. Once my niece and nephew were old enough to crawl around I made him take it back. My house is now gun-free, but I have two killer cats! So watch out!!

According to one school of thought, you WANT the intruder to hear you cocking the gun, because that will cause them to flee without anyone getting hurt.

Cock sound!

ratliff wrote:According to one school of thought, you WANT the intruder to hear you cocking the gun, because that will cause them to flee without anyone getting hurt.

I took some martial arts classes with a very knowledgeable, classically-minded black belt. He told a lot of stories about when he lived in rougher parts of town, and the sound of cocking his shotgun scared off groups of thugs. Just goes to show that guns are superior to martial arts.

kbadr wrote:Just goes to show that guns are superior to martial arts.

Nope. I shot a ninja and he just kept comin'. Killed me. That's why I practice ninja stuff now.

DollarBill wrote: I shot a ninja and he just kept comin'. Killed me. That's why I practice ninja stuff now.

I've actually taken gun-fu classes from a ninja guy in San Francisco, and he's not fucking around. You better be a deadeye at a fair distance, or that dude will take your piece away from you and shove it right up your ass before you can blink.

And then, you'd better not blink.

ratliff wrote:According to one school of thought, you WANT the intruder to hear you cocking the gun, because that will cause them to flee without anyone getting hurt.

Cock sound!

I have samples of the sounds of numerous guns being cocked and fired. If anyone feels they simply must have this sort of defense against home invasion I will happily burn you a CD.

This way you can sleep with the remote for your home stereo next to your bed rather than a weapon of personal destruction. Wes, I will see what I can do about getting together a sword and scabbard audio package for you.

I believe cock sound was covered on the "Best album..." thread.

ratliff wrote:According to one school of thought, you WANT the intruder to hear you cocking the gun, because that will cause them to flee without anyone getting hurt.

Cock sound!

oh shit, saying their name in context is how you make them reappears.