go to hell, real life, i will punch you in the face!

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · March 6th, 2012, 9:13 am

real life is full of lots of obstacles and challenges and things that just trip you up from being the fully realized rock star superhero sex god you know you're meant to be, most of which are intangible or abstract notions that we can't really do anything about. so i thought it might be helpful to create a thread where we can curse these things out and beat the shit out of them in effigy.

so go ahead...take a swing. and if you see someone else already beating up your woes, jump on in and have their back!

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · March 6th, 2012, 9:14 am

Hey! Job I hate! go fuck yourself!!!

::punches it in the throat::

Brad Hawkins · Post by **Brad Hawkins** » March 6th, 2012, 10:16 am

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell wrote:Hey! Job I hate! go fuck yourself!!!

::punches it in the throat::

Hasn't Job been through enough?

EmilyBee · Post by **EmilyBee** » March 6th, 2012, 11:09 am

I am going to just walk away from Job, which already has taken enough of my Precious Mental Fluids, and Turn the acrimonious into extraordinary, churning out some of the most goddamned beautiful poetry, music, and expressive movement ever.

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · March 6th, 2012, 11:15 am

EmilyBee wrote:I am going to just walk away from Job, which already has taken enough of my Precious Mental Fluids, and Turn the acrimonious into extraordinary, churning out some of the most goddamned beautiful poetry, music, and expressive movement ever.

at least give it a good rabbit punch to the kidney on your way out...

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · March 6th, 2012, 11:18 am

and as long as i'm here...dear long distance relationships: go to Hell and choke on the Devil's cock.

::assaults its groin area with a rusty crowbar::

Brad Hawkins · Post by **Brad Hawkins** » March 6th, 2012, 12:19 pm

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell wrote:and as long as i'm here...dear long distance relationships: go to Hell and choke on the Devil's cock.

::assaults groin area with a rusty crowbar::

Jordan! Jordan! There's no reason to hit yourself in the groin with a rusty crowbar!

Remember this always: You're surrounded by friends, who all love and support you...

...We'll be happy to do that for you.

Spots · Post by **Spots** » March 6th, 2012, 1:00 pm

Here. From a friend. Please accept this stainless steel crowbar fresh out of its pine scented box.

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · March 6th, 2012, 1:07 pm

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell wrote:and as long as i'm here...dear long distance relationships: go to Hell and choke on the Devil's cock.

::assaults its groin area with a rusty crowbar::

there. edited for clarity. grammar Nazis.

Spots · Post by **Spots** » March 6th, 2012, 1:18 pm

I can't speak for Brad... but it DID make alot of sense for you to be hitting your own groin over the stresses of a long distance relationship.

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · March 6th, 2012, 1:30 pm

poor guy's already suffered enough...it was more trying to make the punishment fit the crime.

Post by **happywaffle** » March 7th, 2012, 9:56 am

Brad Hawkins wrote:
Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell wrote:Hey! Job I hate! go fuck yourself!!!

::punches it in the throat::
Hasn't Job been through enough?

I see what you did there.

Tim Traini · Post by **Tim Traini** » March 7th, 2012, 3:48 pm

happywaffle wrote:
Brad Hawkins wrote:
Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell wrote:Hey! Job I hate! go fuck yourself!!!

::punches it in the throat::
Hasn't Job been through enough?
I see what you did there.

Gob's not on board.

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · March 7th, 2012, 5:02 pm

Tim Traini wrote:
happywaffle wrote:
Brad Hawkins wrote: Hasn't Job been through enough?
I see what you did there.
Gob's not on board.

COME ON!

Chelley · Post by **Chelley** » March 8th, 2012, 3:56 am

Okay, I'll play along.

Curse you, pneumonia. You fucking suck and need to burn in the fiery pits of hell.

:stabs pneumonia repeatedly with a devil's pitchfork and forces pneumonia into HELL.: