Austin Improv

As we enter the fourth week of the Out of Bounds Cage Match Tournament we see the ranks of teams beginning to thin.

In the first match, the Bridgeport Women's Correctional Facility Short Form Players defeated New Braunfels' finest Improv troupe, Pussycake, in a hard-fought battle which involved, pies, bananas, and threats of anal cavity searches.

The second match, though less chaotic, was just as heated, with 1am coming up against One Too for a chance to win the coveted OoB slot. 1am brought their best to the stage, and delivered a solid and moving performance. One Too countered with a hard core performance by its solo improvisor which highlighted the trials and tribulations of a college freshman(Freshwoman) and her Professor. In the end, there could be only one, and One Too took home the win.

Our third match of Round One pitted the Dark Bloodlords against the Leading Brands. The Leading Brands allowed the audience to write suggestions for lines on various strips of paper and then assimilated the lines into their dialogue. They also assaulted their players with water guns in a 'new choice' format. The Dark Bloodlords performed a "Choose Your Own Adventure" format, and told the tale of a spunky, young middle-schooler who had to discover a mystery about cat poop. In the end, the Leading Brands left with the "W" and get to move on to the next round.

This week's match will end the preliminary rounds and open the gate to the semifinals. Polite Society Presents comes to the Hideout Stage to take on Fart Clown Glasses to see who has the mettle to make it to the semi's.

Who will take it all? Only time, ( and the votes of the audience) will tell.

So come on down to the Hideout Theater this Friday at 11:30pm and watch two teams battle it out for your entertainment. Reward the winner, and kick the loser's sorry rump out of the tournament!

are you kidding me

watch it.

you're on thin ice, Fart.

say my name bitch say it

also,

woof cj woof eat fun woof wooof allens boots woof

bob, is it possible for someone to make a citizen's arrest and have a user profile deleted? please say yes.

A-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

I now know who toilet-papered my house.

Clown Fart Bubbles eats too much red meat.

The End is Nigh!!! ( well close anyway)

This Friday the "Fortunate Four" of the Out of Bounds Cage Match Tournament will be down to three by the end of the evening. The Semifinals have arrived, and now it's time to thin the herd even more.

This week, those glamourous and sophisticated women from the Bridgeport Women's Correctional Facility pile into their pickup truck and drive down to Austin to face the Improv Juggernaut which is One Too.
Both teams have won decisive victories in their first round bouts, and now with the finals close at hand, the only thing keeping them from victory is 22 minutes where anything can happen.

So come on down to the Hideout this Friday at 11:30 and watch the beginning of the end.




RULES CHANGES

After careful review of the videotape from last week's final first round match, the Cage Match Board of Directors has set down some new rules to keep order:

1: Any theatrics which are not cleared by the Cage Match staff ( Movies, an entire team taking the stage before the coin toss and performing some form of promotional set) will be timed and that time will be deducted from the 22 minutes you have to perform.

Example: The coin toss has not yet happened. The 'Normal Joes' run in and take the stage holding protest signs and chanting some odd song. This will be timed, and when the Normal Joes leave the stage, the clock will stop. If the Joes have spent 10 minutes on stage, it will be deducted from their 22 minute total. So, when the Joes get to perform they will now start with 12 minutes on the clock.

2: Being overly vulgar/abusive to the staff, or refusing to leave the stage will incur a time penalty for the offender.

Example: The coin toss has been decided, and the Hairy Hippies have lost the toss, and have to go second. One member of the Hippies remains onstage and glares at the audience. The ref asks the Hippie to leave, but gets no response. The ref now signals that the improvisor has incurred a penalty. The improvisor may not take the stage for the first two minutes of their set. ( which sucks if you're a two or three person group). Additional infractions will incur another minute being added to the penalty.

Why are these penalties being added? Well this is a tournament, and not the regular Cage Match. In the regular match, there's always the chance of coming back in a couple of months if you lose. For OoB, the winner gets a slot in the festival, and it's unprofessional to really screw others out of a fair chance to win. (That's what filling the audience with your family and friends is for) But to act in a manner that totally disrupts the way the tournament is being run is not professional. So certain rules have to be put in place to ensure everyone plays fair, at least for the tournament.

And yes, I am being a prick about this.

Mike...you are awesome!

Thanks, Dave!

If you were wondering why we ladies haven't been online recently well, it wasn't cause we were some pussies scared of that one bitch showcase.

After our behavior in the last match, we got our internet priveledges taken away (though we did get our Whataburger) by the Warden. Damn cunt sucking bitch thinks she needs to prove somethin to the state.

I personally managed to get some extra eggs from the retarded cafeteria worker at breakfast a few weeks ago, but I think it was on account of the blow job I serviced him more than my impromtu skit work.

Anyway, I'm doin duty in da libaray right now and theys got a computer so I'm speakin up for the rest of the ladies.
One Too, you dumbass blond barbie fuck, I'm gonna tear our your vagina and sew it to your face as an extra pocket to hold your tears by the time this thing is over.
I know yous got that big-breasted bitch from pussycake to join you, but nuthins gonna save you from gettin a whoppin followed by an ass rape by the bridgeport bitches.