Austin Improv

due to scheduling conflicts, we had to give up our spot. which is a bummer - we were all looking forward to handing Pussycake their asses.

in our place, we have invited some ladies that have been learning shortform from an old high school friend of mine in Bridgeport, TX (near Dallas) at the The Bridgeport Correctional Facility.

tress has assured me that they will be accompanied by a law officer and on their best behavior, but should be regarded with caution by the austin improv community.

she also mentioned that they are really excited to play on a stage outside the compound and have picked out their best short form games for the match, and will officially perform as The Bridgeport Women’s Correctional Facility Short Form Players.

lets show them some AIC love.

werd.
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Sweet! Caged Heat!

I eat pussycake for breakfast

and then I punch it for lunch - bitch

i heard about these bitches. a friend of mine taught them chain murder and one of them actually shived another one, misunderstanding the rules. there's a video of them online somewhere, but i can't friggin' find it.
OOB is proud to have these ladies stand in and encourage everyone to check these bitches out. They're great!

vine311 wrote:Sweet! Caged Heat!

Say that to my face, you little cum sucking midget bitch.

No one beats my ladies when we play What the fuck are you doing?

Who has a nife? Its time to cut up some PUSSYCAKE.

Don't be fooled by our name... PUSSYCAKE will scratch your eyes out, put them in a bowl with flour and eggs, whip it up, bake it, and serve it back to you through your empty, gaping, bloody eye sockets.

Yeah, I've actually seen these guys do that. They perform regularly at a bar in New Braunfels called the Twitching Nerve. But I've also seem them give out heart candies and read poetry. Real Jeckell and Hyde stuff. The Austin improv community should be proud to host these formidable Cagematch cats.

dead dreams.

soft and gooey in the middle. I did some time with these girls and they are "punk ass bitches" in the parlence of our times. I tossed all of their salads with a honey lime vinegrette that I whipped up with some toilet water, Summers Eve, and a squirt of taint sweat (I never go anywhere without a little bottle of taint sweat...it is so versatile). In the Hamptons we would call these girls "the help" because they aren't good for much more that cleaning up after making a big batch of cream pies.

I'd be willing to wager that Pussycake mops the floor with those scabs using a solution of 2 parts funnier and 3 parts funniest.

To quote Julia Childs "Dem stank ho bitches bes be quit trippin befo daye git a lil sumpin broke off in daye ass". I couldn't have put it better myself. Inmates beware...Pussycake is going to put you in SOLITARY CONFINEMENT.

Martha

Any cunt ass mofo who listens to that bread and wreath makin' cracka Martha is dumber then that Sally chick down in cell 315. Stupid bitch squealed on her friends, and now look where she is, gettin ass raped by Big Mary and the handle of a hairbrush every damn day.
But really, that's besides the point. An ass rape is an ass rape. But insider trading, damn...what a dumb bitch.

Weird. I now have a crush on every female persona who has posted on this thread. Very weird. I'm like a male lesbian... whatever that is.

number1stunna wrote:Any cunt ass mofo who listens to that bread and wreath makin' cracka Martha is dumber then that Sally chick down in cell 315.

You listened to me when I told you to knit me a poncho. You listened to me when I told you to use the alias "number1stunna" instead of your real name Constance Abigail Worthington III. You even listened to me when I told you to stick with improv even though you are REALLY bad at it. Why would you tell people to not listen to me now? If it weren't for me, you wouldn't even be coming to Austin.

Stick to what you know (how to buckle a strap-on and scrubbing floors) and let me stick to what I know which is putting you skeezers in your place.

Also...I can't believe the OOB festival organizers, and Jeremy Lamb in particular, are excited to have you hear. All you are going to do is steal all of their women and work them over with a mop handle (a women's prison shank that fits in a pre-cut slit that all women have). Jeremy, et all, obviously don't know talent when it sits on their face. If they had bothered to drive to New Braunfels to see Pussycake perform, they would be in the festival and wouldn need the cagematch in the first place. I guess Pussycake should have claimed to be from LA, Chicago, or New York - or - not cut Ben Sterling when he auditioned for the troupe. Either way, they would have been a lock for OOB! I guess they will just have to do it the old fashoned way...see Tanya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan incedent for details.

M

Strangest thread ever.

Shannon

hello ladies. i would like to snack on your fishy pussycake.