A Moral Dilemma

vine311 · Post by **vine311** » July 7th, 2006, 4:44 pm

When I was 12 years old I was riding my bike at the fairgrounds across the street from my house and I came upon a large paper sack sitting under a tree. There was nothing spectacular about the bag but from a distance I could tell that it was very fullâ€¦of something. I went in for a closer look and found that it was filled with tons of porno mags. There was Penthouse, Swank, Oui, Cheri and the occasional Playboy too. At the tender age of 12 this was not unlike hitting the biggest fucking jackpot in history. I stuffed as many of the mags as I could into my pants and smuggled them into my house where I hid them under my mattress. I made several more trips back to the porn tree to collect the rest of the treasure until I had it all. I had that collection for years and used it for â€œpersonal enjoymentâ€

kaci_beeler · Post by **kaci_beeler** » July 7th, 2006, 4:56 pm

Repeat the cycle, it is your destiny.

Roy Janik · Post by **Roy Janik** » July 7th, 2006, 4:57 pm

vine311 wrote:So now comes my dilemma, how do I dispose of my old collection of high quality mags?

Porn Suits.

That is, suits apparently made out of porn.

That is all.

kbadr · Post by **kbadr** » July 7th, 2006, 4:58 pm

Never found any in the woods, but I do remember finding some in my friend's basement. We found a few copies of Playboy in a brown paper bag (what's with the porn/brown paper bag connection?) and my friend was like "oh yeah, I remember these! my sister and I ran across them when we were little. They must have belonged to the guy who lived here before we moved into the house."

"Uh, dude, these are from 1983. You've lived here since the 70s"

We found his dad's old stash. That was awesome. Sorta.

madeline · Post by **madeline** » July 7th, 2006, 5:40 pm

I say we hold a Porn Collage Extravaganza!

Collage a porn dresser.
Sew a porn suit.
Create a porn mask.
The possibilities are endless! Please! We. must. do. this.

York99 · Post by **York99** » July 7th, 2006, 5:41 pm

I was living in Los Angeles and taking my garbage down to the dumpster of my apartment building. I found a garbage bag full of dirty clothes. Jackpot on some stuff that could be washed. Amongst the soiled clothing was some porn. Double Jackpot! The titles were the best part, though: Shaved Orientails. I did not spell that wrong. Look again.

My vote is to leave it out for some other kid. Spread it out in case a goody-two-shoes dork asshole (I'm actually mad at this ficticious kid) kid finds it.

Jules · Post by **Jules** » July 7th, 2006, 6:05 pm

Well, I too found porn A) in the woods and B) while babysitting.
So, I suppose that you should either A) put it in the woods or B) give it to a couple with kids. I have kids. Just saying.
But before you throw/give/burn it you should have a Porn Goodbye Party. And we should all dress like porn people. Whatever that means to you. I"ll make dip.

Jastroch · Post by **Jastroch** » July 7th, 2006, 6:18 pm

After my first day of highschool, my friends and I were trespassing in the woods behind some truck stop. We found a copy of "Over 40" Magazine--hardcore porn with women in their '60s, '70s and, yes, '80s.

It was the most disgusting thing I had seen up until that point in my life. Fortuntely, we had come into possetion of enough m100s to explode the shit out of it.

It got blowd up, real good.

Jules · Post by **Jules** » July 7th, 2006, 6:20 pm

Speaking as one who is nearly 40, I say go ye old harloty bags of ancient horny flesh!
80 is a bit much.

kaci_beeler · Post by **kaci_beeler** » July 7th, 2006, 6:38 pm

Eek! Porn scares me a bit.

Mike · Post by **Mike** » July 7th, 2006, 7:01 pm

Porn, like colectable plates and comic books can actually become a colector's item. I know a few friends who inherited their old man's Playboy collections and now own the Marilyn Monroe issue.

I say hold on to your porn. Treasure it. Keep it safe, keep it hidden. Then when the internet has sent the porn magazines the way of the dodo, you may sell your collection to folks looking for a retro way to look at nude women.

valetoile · Post by **valetoile** » July 8th, 2006, 3:24 am

madeline wrote:I say we hold a Porn Collage Extravaganza!

Collage a porn dresser.
Sew a porn suit.
Create a porn mask.
The possibilities are endless! Please! We. must. do. this.

My thoughts exactly, Miss Malka.

Wesley · Post by **Wesley** » July 8th, 2006, 12:22 pm

I say you invest the porn in a trust for your children. The power of compound interest is an amazing thing and you can rest easy knowing that when you die, your children's porographic needs will be taken care of well into their golden years.

Or, sell them on eBay.

ratliff · Post by **ratliff** » July 8th, 2006, 3:31 pm

Jules wrote:Speaking as one who is nearly 40, I say go ye old harloty bags of ancient horny flesh!
80 is a bit much.

Speaking as someone who is over 40 and who is happily attracted to my own age group, I have to applaud the much wider spectrum of appearance and body types in the, uh, models that populate low-rent porn. The idea that different shapes and ages of people also like to have sex is a welcome counterbalance to some of the uglier porn conventions, into which I will not go here.

vine311 · Post by **vine311** » July 8th, 2006, 3:39 pm

madeline wrote:Collage a porn dresser

I have an old dresser sitting in my front yard right now. We can totally make this happen. Porn craft day is coming soon.

Austin Improv

A Moral Dilemma

A Moral Dilemma

Re: A Moral Dilemma

Inspired by a friend that makes porn collage.

Oh dear boy

Re: Inspired by a friend that makes porn collage.

Re: Oh dear boy

Re: Inspired by a friend that makes porn collage.