Austin Improv

Ten Dollar Bourbon you rocked last night! I've never seen the silent movement follow your partner your partner follows you work in a scene before but it did last night! Brilliant!

Also my favorite lines to date are:

"I'd eat a pilgrim's ass I'm so hungry."-Terril

"Fried chicken is a dance of passion and sensuality."-Alex

Ann Wilson - me love you long time!

Alexander

"Well, Tommy, I'm afraid to inform you that I have cancer?! What?!"
-Cody Dearing, Let's Rock!, May 9 Threefer, during a hospital tagout.

Cody was the doctor and he was talking to a patient. The best part was the timing. Cody was saying "I'm afraid to inform you that (flips through charts on clipboard) I have cancer?!?"

"This isn't acting, this is traveling."
--Kareem during Badr & Janik show talking to a bus driver who thinks that Kareem is doing a bit from his Vaudeville show

From the Double Barrel show 5/2/08

Wooden Nickel

"I don't think Stalin liked cheese in a can."
--Erin, (no context needed)

"I don't think you even know which finger to lick the chicken grease off first. (Terrill does wrong finger) First the pinky, then you work your way down to the thumb. I'll leave it to your imagination as to why."
--Alex

Available Cupholders

"You have eaten the ice cream of the Lord!"
--Jeremy

"It's like having an angry bird looking at me all the time."
--Kaci (in reference to Benner's velcro penis)

Faculty Show, 5/24/08 (Opening for Switchboard)

During a job interview...
Buckman: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Jastroch: In a well.

I'm awesome.

Ka-Baam, 05/24/2008

The introduction of the Hippopotamus of Perpetual Sorrow.

Kaci: Women are more perceptible to disease.

Roy: Really? Perceptible? So if I had a cough, a woman would be bble to tell me what kind of cough I have?

Perfect Season, Threefer Madness, May 30th

Asaf wrote:Kaci: Women are more perceptible to disease.

Roy: Really? Perceptible? So if I had a cough, a woman would be able to tell me what kind of cough I have?

Perfect Season, Threefer Madness, May 30th

Word. That was awesome.

Ok, I know this happened in L.A., and the person who said it lives in Chicago, but a lot of austin people saw it and it was my favorite line of the festival:

After getting fired from the news station for cursing too much:
"Fuck my potty mouth! Fuck my potty mouth right in the ass!!!"
-Ace Manning as Bonnie the adulterous trailer park lady.

Think about for a while... it's funny on AT LEAST three levels.

DollarBill wrote:Ok, I know this happened in L.A., and the person who said it lives in Chicago, but a lot of austin people saw it and it was my favorite line of the festival:

After getting fired from the news station for cursing too much:
"Fuck my potty mouth! Fuck my potty mouth right in the ass!!!"
-Ace Manning as Bonnie the adulterous trailer park lady.

Think about for a while... it's funny on AT LEAST three levels.

Ha! Since I'm bored, I'm going to identify those three levels:
1. the irony of cursing about cursing
2. unwittingly pleading to suck a dick
3. fucking a mouth in the ass

I'm pretty sure that's my favorite line on this thread so far.

You got two of my three... I hadn't thought of your second one. My third is:
Swearing so profanely in part of the line while using the quite innocent phrase "potty mouth" at the same time.
It just tickles me... but the funniest part to me is the literal interpretation of fucking a mouth in the ass. I have laughed at that line, out loud, every day since that it was uttered.

I agree, saying "potty mouth" in that context is funny. I wonder if there's a fifth level?

from Maestro on 5/31:

Mr. Stevens says I am going to hell because I have two mommies.
-Gene

I did a lot of bad stuff. I fucked a lot of stupid people.
-Kaci