Best show lines - 2008

bilbo · Post by **bilbo** » March 16th, 2008, 1:11 pm

coldtowne, 10 pm, sat., 3/15.

arthur, jastroch, and justin were doing a three man set. they stumbled upon an idea that started as a cheesy game where all three of them referred to the others as "bro". like in a frat house or something. then they added the concept of playing an actual "dating" boardgame. from there, they took this thing to sheer brilliant heights. justin york had the sweetest button.

"bro, i totally rigged the game!"

if you saw it, you understand. if not, i am so sorry for you.

valetoile · Post by **valetoile** » March 23rd, 2008, 11:48 am

pgraph show, Thursday, March 20
valerie: you did it for me, maw?
roy: no, meemaw's dead, I did it for you, son!

ratliff · Post by **ratliff** » March 30th, 2008, 10:46 pm

The Faculty, 3/29/08. Rachel Madorsky and Bob McNichol are a couple holed up in their garage, which is full of guns and drugs.

Bob: I've got both the clickers, so nobody's gettin' in here.

You're Not My Real Dad w/ Ali Farahnakian, 3/28/08. Ali and Dave Buckman are playing a father and son:

Ali: I get it. I was thirteen once.
Dave: BULLSHIT!
Ali: Okay, that's fair.

Post by **bradisntclever** » April 6th, 2008, 3:20 pm

Maestro (4/5/08 - 10 PM - Hideout Theatre)

Context: Aden was in a scene where she had to get motivation from making a bunch of squishy faces until the audience said stop. When the audience finally did stop her, Aden's mouth was wide open (sort of like a "0"). In the scene, Aden kicks out her husband for a man (Jason Vines) she met on the internet.

[Jason walks in from backstage]
Jason: "Is he gone yet? Wow! Your mouth looks like a catfish!"

Jeff · Post by **Jeff** » April 11th, 2008, 11:09 am

"Are you married with 8 kids, or do you love each other? It can't be both."
-Kristin Firth in Twisted Knickers, Cagematch 4/10/08

Spaztique · Post by **Spaztique** » April 12th, 2008, 3:33 am

"We're just going to buy cookies as if they were drugs with this gay guy we picked up at a bar."
-Bob McNichol, The Frank Mills, April 11, Double Barrel Show, said as the button to the show.

HerrHerr · Post by **HerrHerr** » April 12th, 2008, 3:23 pm

"There's some ticket stubs in his pocket. (reads stub) Fried Green Tomatoes. In 70mm."
--Bob McNichol looking through the pockets of a dead person in a funeral home.
Smoking Arm show 4-11

Post by **bradisntclever** » April 12th, 2008, 9:13 pm

Not a direct transcript, but as close as I could remember it.

Frank(?): [shivering with arms crossed] "Don't look at me!"
Stephanie: "It's ok, I've seen guys hug themselves before."
Frank(?): "Really?"
Stephanie: "Yeah, everyone does it. I do it sometimes, too."

-Mark Sutton Worshop @ ColdTowne ( 4/12/08 )

HerrHerr · Post by **HerrHerr** » April 13th, 2008, 9:35 pm

Marc, post the Bob quote from Maestro....something about breakfast tacos, etc...

Marc Majcher · Post by **Marc Majcher** » April 13th, 2008, 10:51 pm

HerrHerr wrote:Marc, post the Bob quote from Maestro....something about breakfast tacos, etc...

I don't remember for sure, but yeah, it was something to the effect of "I want them to see exactly what they can accomplish with cholesterol and an empty mind..." The details are lost to the improv mists of time.

HerrHerr · Post by **HerrHerr** » April 14th, 2008, 11:00 am

majcher wrote:
HerrHerr wrote:Marc, post the Bob quote from Maestro....something about breakfast tacos, etc...
I don't remember for sure, but yeah, it was something to the effect of "I want them to see exactly what they can accomplish with cholesterol and an empty mind..." The details are lost to the improv mists of time.

"I've got to finish making these breakfast tacos for the team. I want them to see exactly what they can accomplish with cholesterol and an empty mind."
--Bob Apthorpe, GGG Maestro on 4-12

Post by **bradisntclever** » April 17th, 2008, 10:05 pm

"Oral sex is the gateway sex." - Aden

The Starter Kit @ ColdTowne - 4/17/08

Post by **bradisntclever** » April 17th, 2008, 10:10 pm

"What are you studying?" - Eric [school teacher]
"History." - Zach [annoyed student]
"History? Anne-Marie knows lots about history! Watch this! Anne-Marie, do you know what day July 4, 1776 was?" - Eric
"......Tuesday." - Ann [Eric's prized graduate student]

The Starter Kit @ ColdTowne - 4/17/08

For curiosity's sake, I figured out 7/4/1776 was a Thursday.

Post by **bradisntclever** » April 27th, 2008, 12:25 am

I'm sorry #3, but "Finnegan's Wake" is not a type of car, though it is a very long literary vehicle.

-Val, directing Category Die
LAFF Maestro 4/26/08

HerrHerr · Post by **HerrHerr** » April 27th, 2008, 2:03 pm

bradisntclever wrote:I'm sorry #3, but "Finnegan's Wake" is not a type of car, though it is a very long literary vehicle.

-Val, directing Category Die
LAFF Maestro 4/26/08

Who said FINNEGAN'S WAKE? I just gotta know!