Best Show Lines 2011

Justin D. · Post by **Justin D.** » May 1st, 2011, 2:23 am

"I don't practice what I preach, because I'm not the kind of guy I'm preaching to." - Marc Majcher in the last Violet Underbelly show.

That's just a good damn line all around, funny or not.

Peter Rogers had another good line in that show. He said the following after Troy, with a thick German accent, pieced together a grammatically incorrect and halting sentence about a vase.

"Yes, I know the rest of that poem."

Marc Majcher · Post by **Marc Majcher** » May 1st, 2011, 7:45 pm

Justin D. wrote:"I don't practice what I preach, because I'm not the kind of guy I'm preaching to." - Marc Majcher in the last Violet Underbelly show.

That's just a good damn line all around, funny or not.

I am mortified that came out in a show. That's just something I say every now and then. I'm pretty sure I picked it up from the Church of the Subgenius.

I AM A FRAUD!

Justin D. · Post by **Justin D.** » May 2nd, 2011, 3:20 am

Marc Majcher wrote:
Justin D. wrote:"I don't practice what I preach, because I'm not the kind of guy I'm preaching to." - Marc Majcher in the last Violet Underbelly show.

That's just a good damn line all around, funny or not.
I am mortified that came out in a show. That's just something I say every now and then. I'm pretty sure I picked it up from the Church of the Subgenius.

I AM A FRAUD!

You are a fraud, but you're a fraud with good timing.

Halyn · Post by **Halyn** » May 2nd, 2011, 10:33 am

Courtney from the Sunday night Your Terrific Neighbors show,

"Women are good for only three things: battle, childbirth, and organization!"

I loved it.

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · May 2nd, 2011, 10:49 am

Halyn wrote:Courtney from the Sunday night Your Terrific Neighbors show,

"Women are good for only three things: battle, childbirth, and organization!"

I loved it.

that entire speech was brilliant...

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · May 17th, 2011, 2:41 pm

"George Washington is a friend to the squirrels, so we let him visit our Heaven."

-Kristin Firth, Pick Your Own Path 5/13/11

hypersuit · Post by **hypersuit** » May 18th, 2011, 3:02 pm

During False Matters rehearsal...

Shannon: You don't know what might happen! What if-

Liz Brammer (cutting him off): YOU don't know! Anything can happen!

So hilarious considering that we're doing Philip K. Dick inspired improv. It made us all laugh.

Brad Hawkins · Post by **Brad Hawkins** » May 20th, 2011, 10:08 pm

Shannon and Liz are in a spaceship. She puts something in a compartment.
Shannon: God, I love glove compartments. I mean, who wears gloves in space?
(pause)
Liz: Pretty much everyone.
-- False Matters, May 20

Asaf · Post by **Asaf** » May 21st, 2011, 11:30 am

And to make the Liz Brammer triple play here are two quotes from False Matters on May 20

Craig pleas with Liz to have sex with his character after he learns it is the cure for the death that has taken over his body.

Craig: You're my only hope.
Liz: Your ONLY hope. We're in New York!

Kristin makes an offer to buy a couple of people from Shannon and Liz as slaves.
Shannon: Slavery is illegal.
Liz: But Capitalism isn't.

shando · Post by **shando** » May 21st, 2011, 2:32 pm

Brad Hawkins wrote:Shannon and Liz are in a spaceship. She puts something in a compartment.
Shannon: God, I love glove compartments. I mean, who wears gloves in space?
(pause)
Liz: Pretty much everyone.
-- False Matters, May 20

I loved this moment so much.

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · May 23rd, 2011, 9:09 am

also from False Matters' opening night...

Courtney: "Are we a gay?"

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · May 23rd, 2011, 9:19 am

this one may go down in the annals of Austin improv history...and by God, one of us needs to archive it here (even if i may be paraphrasing...i laughed so hard, i might've blacked out a bit)...from this weekend's Batman show, after Batman and Robin randomly encounter Quincy Jones whilst scaling a grain silo.

Deano: "The coloreds like the colored tights."

the entire audience exploded. a few people may have temporarily died. somehow, the show continued.

Deano · Post by **Deano** » May 23rd, 2011, 11:20 am

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell wrote:this one may go down in the annals of Austin improv history...and by God, one of us needs to archive it here (even if i may be paraphrasing...i laughed so hard, i might've blacked out a bit)...from this weekend's Batman show, after Batman and Robin randomly encounter Quincy Jones whilst scaling a grain silo.

Deano: "The coloreds like the colored tights."

the entire audience exploded. a few people may have temporarily died. somehow, the show continued.

To be exact Robin asked Batman why that guy likes the dynamic duo so much and Batman said "Well Robin, I think it's that colored folks just seem to like the colored tights"

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · May 23rd, 2011, 11:44 am

Deano wrote:
Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell wrote:this one may go down in the annals of Austin improv history...and by God, one of us needs to archive it here (even if i may be paraphrasing...i laughed so hard, i might've blacked out a bit)...from this weekend's Batman show, after Batman and Robin randomly encounter Quincy Jones whilst scaling a grain silo.

Deano: "The coloreds like the colored tights."

the entire audience exploded. a few people may have temporarily died. somehow, the show continued.
To be exact Robin asked Batman why that guy likes the dynamic duo so much and Batman said "Well Robin, I think it's that colored folks just seem to like the colored tights"

ah, thank you! and then Robin talked about political correctness and his new friend Tyrone who was being bussed into Gotham High. so, really, in the end it was an episode about racial tolerance and acceptance.

kaci_beeler · Post by **kaci_beeler** » May 23rd, 2011, 3:03 pm

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell wrote:
Deano wrote:
Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell wrote:this one may go down in the annals of Austin improv history...and by God, one of us needs to archive it here (even if i may be paraphrasing...i laughed so hard, i might've blacked out a bit)...from this weekend's Batman show, after Batman and Robin randomly encounter Quincy Jones whilst scaling a grain silo.

Deano: "The coloreds like the colored tights."

the entire audience exploded. a few people may have temporarily died. somehow, the show continued.
To be exact Robin asked Batman why that guy likes the dynamic duo so much and Batman said "Well Robin, I think it's that colored folks just seem to like the colored tights"
ah, thank you! and then Robin talked about political correctness and his new friend Tyrone who was being bussed into Gotham High. so, really, in the end it was an episode about racial tolerance and acceptance.

Indeed. It definitely wasn't about Women's Rights. Hoo boy!