Best Show Lines 2013

[Asaf]

"Don't look so sad. You can feel that way. Just don't look it. It upsets me."

-Sam Schak to Kayla Freeman, The Suitcase

[Brad Hawkins]

"Here in America, we have a little thing called ennui."
J.M. Specht, The Seven Eight Sevens, 6/30/13

[Ryan Austin]

Alex Dobrenko in the Escorts show on 7/05.

"Tell them I died. Say I got hit by a deer. They'll be like, oh that's so odd. And you'll be like, yeah, I know. You'll have a conversation about how weird that is and it'll be fine."

Later on in the show, Alex comes crawling back on stage, wounded.

"You guys aren't gonna believe this but I got hit by a deer."

[mia]

Free Fringe 7/11 Jessica Arjet and Caitlin Sweetlamb's show...

Jessica monologued about how her character hides his true intelligence in favor of appearing to be a dumb jock who says "dude" and "bro" a lot. Caitlin then monologued as a sniveling brainy kid. They started their scene as (college?) classmates that were assigned to work on a project together. To show that Caitlin's nerd knew what he was doing more, he started reciting the opening lines to Romeo and Juliet. Then Jessica's character interrupted with the correct lines until they were both screaming the lines at each other in unison, red-faced. Perfectly, at the very end, Jessica's character said, "DUDE."

[Munga]

Some quotes from last night's Rubber Room. I'm sorry; I don't know everyone's name so some are uncredited.

"You can't shoot a tiger with a bullet, they just turn it into a musical number."- Brently Heilbron

At choir practice: "She's an alto. You know what they say: Date a soprano. Marry an alto."- Andy Hush

"It's almost like Posh Spice and a dragon trying to dance together."

"Are you married?"
"I'm eating lunch in the park. Of course I'm married!"- Adriane Shown

[Ryan Austin]

Andrew Buck in the weekender with me on July 28th.

I was his dungeon prisoner he had kidnapped.
Me: I haven't tweeted in 90 days!
Andrew: Well...about that. I've been tweeting for you. It's freaking everyone the fuck out. I'm like -- What I'd put the other day? I said, "It's so dark in here! Hashtag, where am I?"

[Ryan Austin]

Marc Majcher, Fancy Pants, August 2nd.

Doing Standup comedy as Freddy Krueger

"So...I always wanted kids."

[happywaffle]

"I fuck eggs!" --Ash Nunley, "Fuck, It's Hot!"

[kbadr]

"I can't get another dog. I live in a one bedroom apartment and I already have a dog and a cat."
- Kevin Miller, in the restroom at the OoB Fundraiser, 8:56pm

"$75!"
- Kevin Miller, placing the winning bid for a dog at the OoB Fundraiser, 9:15pm

[happywaffle]

*sigh*

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

"I'll blow you for a Tylenol."
-Mia Iseman
Ryan Austin Secrets, 8/8/2013

[Pdyx]

The Glamping Trip - 08/15/13 - Threefer at The Hideout

(roughly)

Ratliff: ...like those romantic comedies, for example "Say Anything."

Hess: Bumble bee

[Roy Janik]

The Glamping Trip - 08/15/13 - Threefer at The Hideout

(roughly)

Ratliff: ...like those romantic comedies, for example "Say Anything."

Hess: Bumble bee

That is awesome.

[happywaffle]

I had to have this one explained to me: apparently David took Ratliff's "say anything" literally and shot back with "bumblebee" almost immediately.

[happywaffle]

"I had Fat Val Kilmer once. He was trying to raise money for Fat Willow." --Lubu, playing a pedicab driver in "Fuck It's Hot"