take a punchline, leave a set-up

Matt · Post by **Matt** » February 27th, 2009, 1:47 pm

Archie bald because Jughead shaved him!

My toaster is SO Shakespeare...

Belinda · Post by **Belinda** » February 27th, 2009, 2:34 pm

My toaster is so Shakespeare that it spits out soliloquies and jam. (that made me sound like a slam poet as opposed to a comic, but still)

Once when I was a young boy I found out that...

vine311 · Post by **vine311** » February 27th, 2009, 2:45 pm

...babies don't really bounce.

What do you get when you cross a pencil sharpener with a mop?

sara farr · Post by **sara farr** » February 27th, 2009, 3:56 pm

... sloppy handwriting (or clean handwriting, depending on which end you use).

Two bit, four bits, three bits, a peso...

arthursimone · Post by **arthursimone** » February 27th, 2009, 4:43 pm

The last king has been strangled with the entrails of the last priest. Queso.

What happened when Silas Marner went on a blind date?

valetoile · Post by **valetoile** » February 27th, 2009, 5:28 pm

She was dead, because all blind people are dead; everyone knows that.

HerrHerr · Post by **HerrHerr** » February 27th, 2009, 5:37 pm

In one hand I have a pocket full of Kryptonite, the other hand is holding up a peace sign.

Which weighs more?

Lants · Post by **Lants** » February 27th, 2009, 5:45 pm

It's a trick question, they both weigh a pocket.

What's the deal with mexican food?

KathyRose · Post by **KathyRose** » February 27th, 2009, 5:46 pm

You start with the first plate on your left.

Why does size matter?

HerrHerr · Post by **HerrHerr** » February 28th, 2009, 3:17 am

I like to wrestle women.

Did you hear about the dyslexic weatherman? One night he forecasted an 80% chance of ______.

TexasImprovMassacre · February 28th, 2009, 3:19 am

Nosw (pronounced Nose)

You're tops if my book. Oh, by the way, my book is called . . .

valetoile · Post by **valetoile** » February 28th, 2009, 10:50 am

The Mystery of Who is Tops- The Greatest Unsolved Crime of the 21st Century. You'll be hearing from my lawyers.

There's an old Slovenian saying that goes, "every time you lose a coin...."

Post by **Jon Bolden** » February 28th, 2009, 4:34 pm

You destroy an entire family.

Why did the Spanish chicken cross the road?

sara farr · Post by **sara farr** » February 28th, 2009, 5:10 pm

...To get sauced.

Who crossed the road first, the chicken or the egg?

Brian Boyko · Post by **Brian Boyko** » February 28th, 2009, 9:06 pm

sara_anm8r wrote:...To get sauced.

Who crossed the road first, the chicken or the egg?

Neither. No one crosses Mr. Road... and lives.

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Who knew it was so easy to build a perpetual motion machine? All you do is take a...