Austin Improv

arthursimone wrote: the story:
her great grandparents landed at ellis island and told the bureaucrat their names and last name and he looked up and was annoyed that they were polish and put Pollock on their papers, and so that became their last name. similar for you?

My mom's side of the family is Polish; the family name is Skrypczak which got bastardized at Ellis Island as "Chipchak." In retrospect, it was a merciful improvement.

Oh yeah - nobody that made fun of my name in grade school is alive today. Funny that...

Jeremy Lamb called me Chris False to my face after the Double Barrel tonight.

just desserts, baby. eat 'em up.

kbadr wrote:

Jules wrote:Middle School SUCKED ASS. I hated those fucking bitches too. Middle school was nothing but feeling like a sad parsnip floating in a pot of fear soup.

kaci_beeler wrote:
FUCK THOSE STUPID FUCKING BITCHES! I used to be a lot less cynical and a have a lot more self esteem before I went through those three years of hell.

Middle school was a big pile of crap for anyone who had half a brain. It's the source of much of everyone's self-doubt.

And it'll also be the source of a lot of fucked up morals and lessons if I ever have children.

I feel sorry for all of you. I had a great middle school experience.

Matt wrote:My last name is Pollock, I'm half Polish. Bonus points (and possibly a gift of Polish sausage - store bought you dirty bastard- as well) to anybody that tells me a Pole-ock joke that I haven't heard yet

I just got this email. It's too long and very lame, but it's possibly the first Polish joke I've ever gotten via email and thought it was a good time to share:

Polish Divorce
>
> A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his
> English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he
> rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce
> for him - "very quick."
>
> The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the
> circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
>
> LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
> POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."
> LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
> POLE: "It made of concrete."
> LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
> POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one."
> LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"
> POLE: "All my relations still in Poland."
> LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
> POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."
> LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?"
> POLE: "No, I always up before her."
> LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"
> POLE: "No, she white."
> LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"
> POLE: "She going to kill me."
> LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
> POLE: "I got proof.
> LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
> POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
> shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'."

York99 wrote:

kbadr wrote:

Jules wrote:Middle School SUCKED ASS. I hated those fucking bitches too. Middle school was nothing but feeling like a sad parsnip floating in a pot of fear soup.

Middle school was a big pile of crap for anyone who had half a brain. It's the source of much of everyone's self-doubt.

And it'll also be the source of a lot of fucked up morals and lessons if I ever have children.

I feel sorry for all of you. I had a great middle school experience.

I had a great time in middle school as well.

I don't remember having any "special" names that really pissed me off in School however, I did have a girlfriend in college who called me Urine Pissy. I just remembered I think I also heard Pussky.

From my first name - Bonnie was "Bon-bon" from my dad.

From an experiment in 6th grade to use my initials - Blow Job - leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Jezzabell - in High School. I enjoyed that one.

You've seen Aladdin?

My last name is Aulie, and there's that song about Prince Ali (pronounced a whole lot like my last name).

So the kids at my old church used to call me Princess Aulie, they even wrote their own lyrics to the song that fit me perfectly (you know being a little gay princess and all). They were a regular pack of Weird Als, minus the sex appeal.