Live from Edinburgh

[mpbrockman]

Love reading you Brockman, you're the Anthony Bourdain of Improv!

Minus the heroin?

Have spent the day at the National Galleries basking in Art (yes, assuredly with a capital "A"). Degas, Seurat, El Greco, Monet, a collection of 2nd century Roman stelae, Rembrandt, Rubens, Botticelli, Van Gogh and Poussin's Seven Sacraments in the round. I found myself simply spinning in wonder in a few of the galleries. I'm a little surprised I didn't go Julie Andrews and break into "the hills are alive...".

While I'm not competent to offer art criticism, I did note the following:

Ruben's Feast of Herod seen up close is rather disturbing. Salome is presenting the head of John the Baptist on a platter (disturbing enough, but at least familiar in story and thus expected); but the grin on Herodias' face as he pokes the Baptist's tongue with a fork is just... well.. messed up. Sorry, words fail - here's a link.

Perhaps the most disturbing thing I saw was two Anon. crypt decorations. Little sculptures of beautiful infants sitting on skulls. You have to be standing at the right angle to see the skulls grinning out at you from beneath the draped infants.

On a lighter note: my companion and I broke into laughter (a big no-no in the SNG) when we descended from the top floor into a large stairwell containing a large number of busts of various noblemen. We both immediately thought of Disney's Haunted Mansion and expected them to burst into song. The bust that looked for all the world like it's scalp was covered in glued-on Cheerios wasn't helping us compose ourselves either.

We also couldn't help but wonder why Poussin's Penance seemed to contain a lot of food. How penitent is feasting anyway? Ah well, better than having a fork stuck into your tongue.

So, some other random things:

-Perhaps you remember my earlier reference to Greyfriar's (kindly supplemented by Kathy Rose). I actually slipped around the back to see the grave marker and what did I discover? "The Creepy Wee Shop In The Graveyard"! It's a gift shop, and were I suddenly transformed into the younger version of myself I would pinch it's sign and bring it home. Too cute. As it is I rather expect I'll have to buy something there.

-Speaking of temptation to sign theft. Jill, there are Bernard Streets, Places, Circles, Ways, Steps et al everywhere. Souvenir city for you and a crescent wrench.

-Merlin, I had no idea. Found your curry shop (Shana's Indian Takeaway) at Kerr and Raeburn.

-Not far from Shana's place. St. Stephens Comely Bank Church. I'll leave it to you to mentally repunctuate that until it makes sense (or at least stops looking silly).

More soon. Enjoying my time here, but much missing home and y'all.

[kbadr]

While there are likely not any Badr-named places, you are in my city.

My ancestor, by the name of Adams I believe, was the architect who "redesigned modern Edinburgh." Based on how old European cities tend to be, that probably means he did it in the 1700s and had the revolutionary idea of paved roads.

Postscript: Maybe this is him?

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

i think the Maxwells were closer to Glasgow than Edinburgh...all the same, if you meet any of my kith and kin, punch the bastards in the face! they're a cheap lot of whoremongers, the lot of them!

(i have no idea if that's true...just curious if i can get a trans-atlantic intra-family feud going...)

[EmilyBee]

Perhaps when you return, you'll be inspired to read the Lymond Chronicles by Scottish historical novelist Dorothy Dunnett. (She was born in Dunfermline, Fife, and died in Edinburgh in 2001.)

Oooh! Someone else who has read the Lymond chronicles!! I actually whizzed through them, as much as you can whiz through them. I started the Ca' Niccolo series and was less excited about them.

[KathyRose]

Perhaps when you return, you'll be inspired to read the Lymond Chronicles by Scottish historical novelist Dorothy Dunnett. (She was born in Dunfermline, Fife, and died in Edinburgh in 2001.)

Oooh! Someone else who has read the Lymond chronicles!! I actually whizzed through them, as much as you can whiz through them. I started the Ca' Niccolo series and was less excited about them.

Yep. Niccolo wasn't nearly as good - a hero far too smug and not so imperfectly human, and a story not so brilliantly wrought. On the other hand, her novel about the historical Macbeth, "King Hereafter," was really quite interesting.

[smerlin]

-Merlin, I had no idea. Found your curry shop (Shana's Indian Takeaway) at Kerr and Raeburn.

Dear God I hope you're taking photos!

[mpbrockman]

FOXXXXESSSSSS!

No, I'm not doing the old Ackroyd/Martin Swinging Czech Brothers routine. I mean I've seen a couple of them now while wandering in the Queen's Gardens. Ratty little things. After centuries of being hunted down by barking dogs and galloping hordes I suppose I'm not surprised.

Two shows with intriguing titles I'm probably not going to see:

-Silent Disco: Eargasms Guaranteed! (my club kid days are well behind me and besides, I'm out of Q-tips)

-Lovelace: The Musical (Really? How difficult was the lyric writing process?)

Seems the big debate at the EF is centered around how much burlesque is being performed this year. Freeing for performers, or just an excuse to see young women sans clothing? Seems to me they're missing the point. The germane question is "Was it entertaining burlesque?" And since we're on this, since when are "freeing for performers" and "a chance to see pretty girls with barely a stitch on" mutually exclusive concepts? I thought the UK would be a little more relaxed about this sort of thing.

What appears to have brought the debate to a head is that one of the local papers brought in one of the burlesque groups in for a photo shoot, snapped them in their dainties, and then ran the revealing photos next to a scathing review of their show. Now that is far more offensive to me than anything I can imagine those young women doing on stage.

I'm being really bad about photos myself. I will try to get my act together on this; but many the most interesting things I've seen have been transient, and the first thing I think of when I see something striking is generally not "Where's my camera?" The interesting things I've seen that actually stand still for a while have been photographed better by others. Nevertheless, I will work on this. I'm sure I can manage a photo of Shana's Indian Takeaway.

Shows have been going well with one notable exception. We had a couple of reviewers in last week and, to my surprise, Amy froze up when she saw people taking notes. Personally, I understand (some). Professionally, I'm a little less forgiving. Luckily, it's not my show - otherwise I'd be considerably more upset. She was devastated. Nevertheless the show got three stars and some positive writing. Too bad the reviewers didn't come in this week. Edinburgh's gay men appear to find the show delightful and are beginning to turn out in ever increasing numbers. Amy turned to a particularly raucous bunch on Sunday evening and said, "So where the f*ck were you a couple of days ago when the reviewers were here?". Good moment, that.

[mpbrockman]

P.S. Yes, I've heard. #4 is in Minnesota and all is well with the world.

Even here...

[mpbrockman]

Hey, we got a four star review today! Moving up in the world...

A shop I probably will never buy shoes in: Schuh

Right next to it is French Connection UK, over the entrance the initials are emblazoned.

Work it out for yourselves, but walking by it reads like Chuck Jones' idea of heaven.

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

Hey, we got a four star review today! Moving up in the world...

A shop I probably will never buy shoes in: Schuh

Right next to it is French Connection UK, over the entrance the initials are emblazoned.

Work it out for yourselves, but walking by it reads like Chuck Jones' idea of heaven.

they were just starting to build those French Connections over there when i visited in high school. there were billboards everywhere. to a bunch of traveling 15-17 year old troubadours...it was the height of hilarity.

[mpbrockman]

Musical musings: Obviously there's a lot of bagpipe music here. While the low drone note is somewhat tunable, most of them seem to be tuned to a Mixolydian scale with the low drone being somewhere in the crack between F and F# (woe to those with perfect pitch and a typical Western ear, the tuning would drive you out of your gourd). So... if one grows up hearing this note as the root of most music - does anything in a really unrelated key sound "off"? If you've, say, F# lodged deep in your hippocampus as the "right" bass note - does something played in C (b5) or G (b9) strike you as discordant? Has anyone ever studied this? Hmmm...

So last night I'm helping a young Englishwoman playing at our venue get some sound system issues resolved. I work with her for about 15 minutes, get the PA to cooperate, and stay for her show. Afterwords I chat with her again for a bit and she asks, "What part of Australia are you from?" I respond, "I'm from America. Texas, to be precise". She blithely says, "Oh sorry, those American and Australian accents are so hard to tell apart".

Really?! My mother was an Aussie but didn't retain a whole lot of accent, and I think I speak a fairly standard Midwestern English. A little slowly perhaps (thanks, Texas and Tennessee), but to a girl from Manchester do I really sound like I might be from Brisbane? How very odd.

Warning: the following contains references to controlled substances and may not be suitable for all ages.

Given all the walking I've been doing and the fact that I'm sleeping in a bed made, I'm guessing, in in either Korea or Khazad-dum; I'm experiencing more than my usual share of muscle aches. I've been taking some ibuprofen I brought with me, but I ran out. So today I walked into a pharmacy (yes, there are pharmacies - not chemists - here). I was asked by the young lady behind the counter what I needed. I explained that I was experiencing backaches, shoulder pain and incipient shin splints. She said, "You'll probably be wanting this then", and gave me something called Neurofen Plus. It wasn't until later when I took it out of the bag that I realized she'd just handed me a box containing 32 tabs of ibuprofen and codeine. Now, it's in a mild dosage. 12.8 mg. codeine/200 mg ibuprofen. Nevertheless it has "Not to be taken for more than three days" and "Warning: This medication is addictive" all over the box.

This wouldn't be half as amusing to me if (as some of you may recall) I hadn't had a root canal earlier this year. The endodontist broke the work into what was to be two sections over three days. In the intervening day his mother died and he left town leaving me with an excruciatingly painful, half finished root canal. He was gone for a week and a half, during which time I was left practically begging his nurse, and my regular dentist, for Vicodin, codiene... something to allow me to function as a human. Seriously, this was not about recreation-with-opioids; this was GIVE-ME-SOMETHING-SO-I-CAN-DO-SOMETHING-OTHER-THAN-LIE-ON-THE-COUCH-AND-CLUTCH-MY-FACE!!! time. I had to endure lectures about painkiller addiction from all of my doctors and the goddamn busybody HEB pharmacist who was actually keeping count of the number of painkillers I consumed and reminding me of it whenever I walked in again.

And today I walk into a pharmacy with a simple collection of minor muscle aches and get handed the stuff. Mind you, it's kept behind the counter like stimulant antihistamines are in the U.S. You need to have a brief conversation with the pharmacist and (presumably) not look like an addict in withdrawal. But seriously... the ease (and complete ignorance) with which I acquired here what seemed to take direct orders from the Surgeon General and his auntie to acquire, while in serious need, in the U.S. has me befuddled. I thought this was the nanny state.

Nice nanny.

Addendum to previous post. Does anybody remember Chuck Jones or did I reach too far with that one?

We had a great show tonight. As I suspected, we've found our audience (gay men and young women), rewritten/fine-tuned the show and gotten each other's timing down to the point where the show is tight, funny and easy to do. Now we'll come back to the States in a week and not play together until ???

Next post perhaps I'll explain why it is that I have to explain my supposed whore habit on stage every night.

[sara farr]

I was talking to a European at a wedding last month. They were appalled with the social medicine & drug situation over here in the US. They told me that the drugs you need to be healthy and maintain your well being are way more available over there. And yet, there are way more drug abusers here in the US -- where drug sales are restricted. I was given the impression that Europeans actually read the drug directions and follow them. There is no, "I feel better so I'll stop taking this antibiotic now before I've taken the full course." I imagine that kind drug responsibility -- having been put into the hands of the people -- makes it easier for a person to get the drugs he/she needs when they need them. Hm.

Of course, you still have to PAY for the drugs. Not sure how much your codeine cost over there. Anyway.

[mpbrockman]

Of course, you still have to PAY for the drugs. Not sure how much your codeine cost over there.

About £7 ($10.50 or thereabouts) for 32 tablets. Way less than what I would pay for similar medication in the U.S. - even with insurance. Unreal.

Good news for us - another 4-star review! This time in something called "The List". I don't know exactly what that is, but am told it's it's an influential publication. At any rate, our show tonight was full; and many of the attendees were holding copies of said magazine.

3 weeks for the show to find its' audience and acquire a solid following. Yeeks. Were that we had started out this way, I wouldn't have lost 5 lbs. since I got here. British beef or not, I'm about done with meat pies and pasties.

And why can no-one over here make a halfway decent sandwich?

[mpbrockman]

The Good:

-I'm told that "The List" 4-star review guarantees a performer a spot in next year's Fringe should they apply. Nice to know we'll have the opportunity to haemorrhage money again next year should we so desire.

-Climbed Calton Hill yesterday. It was revelatory in several ways; most notably in that from said vantage one realizes how small Edinburgh actually is. From within, all the winding streets and tall edifices can give one the incorrect impression that this a fairly large town when in fact it's merely convoluted. The view from there also allows one to clearly see the volcanic nature of this area's past. Erosion has worn away enough of the landscape that ancient vents and lava flows are clearly visible. With a little effort it isn't hard to imagine this area as violently geologically active. Even though it was an especially drizzly day, I could still see Inchkeith Island, across the Firth to Burntisland, the bridge at Queensferry and clear 'round towards N. Berwick. I got a few pics, but the light was tricky - we'll see how they turn out.

The Bad:

-Food, missing BREAKFAST TACOS! 'nuff said.

The Ugly:

-Quite seriously - the really ugly. Kelly "Killy" Dwyer (who was at LAFF this year), was assaulted on stage during her show a few nights back. A drunk patron demanded a lapdance, saying that because she was a performer she "had to" accede to his request. Accession not being forthcoming, he grabbed her by the throat and attempted to put money in her mouth. No other patrons or venue personnel intervened. The situation died down shortly of its own accord and Kelly is physically unharmed; but the lack of upset, indeed the sense of "all in good fun" accompanying this episode reflects poorly upon at least, the venue - at most, Scotland as a whole (more on this in a moment). Upon complaining, the bar manager informed Kelly she was making a big fuss over nothing. After mulling it over, Kelly is continuing with her show and has not made a police report. Why? Well; Scotland has a 5% conviction rate for rape cases, the average sentence runs in the neighborhood of a couple of years and hey, this was certainly no rape - not even a good bruising. T'was just a bloke having hisself a little fun with the lady, no harm done - right?

Damn. No wonder her show is called "Girl Balls".

OK - I'm running late for dinner (such as it is) and must head out. I promise to bring more light-heartedness to my next post since this one got dark fast. Sorry about that.

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

she should've kicked him in the balls and said "just part of the show, folks!" i mean, as long as we're apparently playing by wild west rules...in my saloon, you get rough with one of the girls, the girl is allowed to cut ya!