Best Show Lines 2012

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

"When I was 18, my uterus just fell right the fuck out!"
-Kacey Samiee, Maestro 10/27/2012

[happywaffle]

Lauren Buck and Kayla are playing girls on the playground during the Black Plague.

Lauren: "I'm going to stand up here, at the top of the slide, and never come down!"
Kayla: "Oh my goodness, it's a metaphor for dreams!"

[Ruby W.]

Alright, this is WAY late, but I promised I'd post this.

PGraph's SPACE FARCE show a little while back.

ROY: There were other missions to the planet Mars before ours.
KAREEM: Yes! A Mama Mission and a Papa Mission!
ROY: ...
KAREEM: The Papa Mission said, this Mars is too hot! The Mama mission said, this Mars is too cold! But our mission will find Mars Juuuuuuusssst right!

Something like that. It was the best.

oh my god that's incredible.

[valetoile]

Bill Stern, in the Available Cupholders Wafflefest show:

"She had a beautiful smile, and I wanted to touch it with my mouth."

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

"I'm pregnant...but let's keep trying!"
-Jessica Arjet
Live Nude Improv: Nuclear Winter
Philadelphia Improv Festival, 11/10/2012

[happywaffle]

"It's a gift basket!"
"Oh, open it!"
"It's a basket, it's already open!"
--Dan and Nicole, This American LIVE just now

[Kayla Lane]

Bill Stern, in the Available Cupholders Wafflefest show:

"She had a beautiful smile, and I wanted to touch it with my mouth."

This is both hilarious and incredibly endearing. Like ... I'm pretty sure if some guy used this line on me, I'd laugh out loud but then melt into a puddle and let him kiss me forever.

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

Bill Stern, in the Available Cupholders Wafflefest show:

"She had a beautiful smile, and I wanted to touch it with my mouth."

This is both hilarious and incredibly endearing. Like ... I'm pretty sure if some guy used this line on me, I'd laugh out loud but then melt into a puddle and let him kiss me forever.

::writes down line in notebook, puts in glass case in case of emergency::

[Lukew]

Do You Want to Do This?
Hideout- Threefer last night

Alex Dobrenko: 'Oh. Well that's Bill. He handles all the billing'

Then later on:

Courtney Hopkin: 'What's your name?'
Alex: 'Bill.
Courtney: But--
Alex: I know! It's ironic. Our boss that that if we had a company full of Bills we'd make more money!'

[kbadr]

"You have, literally, never spoken to me like that in your entire life."
- Peter, playing his actual father, to Brad, who was playing Peter. It was the button of the scene.

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

"We're Canadian! Saying sorry is like punctuation!"
-Peter Rogers
Accent Roulette, Heidi Rogers' Birthday Clusterfunk
12/13/2012

[hujhax]

"We're Canadian! Saying sorry is like punctuation!"
-Peter Rogers
Accent Roulette, Heidi Rogers' Birthday Clusterfunk
12/13/2012

I TOTALLY STOLE THIS FROM BRAD HAWKINS



--
peter rogers @ home | http://hujhax.livejournal.com

Luck has a way of rewarding those who do not depend on it.
      -- Robert Guillaume

[Brad Hawkins]

I TOTALLY STOLE THIS FROM BRAD HAWKINS

Damn! I was going to ask for royalties, but if you stole it, that means I don't get any.

[PaGeN]

iScream Sandwich Show at The Institution December 8, 2012

Regina, a soon to be Nun, being driven to the Nunnery by her husband with daughter and, Wyatt Tall, the family dog:

Dog: "You're still gonna throw the ball right?"
Soon to be Nun: "Unfortunately, balls aren't thrown by Nuns."

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

"Ah, Meryl Streep. She's like watching melted chocolate poured over your lesbian ex-wife. Through a window, of course!"
-Jeremy Lamb
Available Cupholders, 12/20/2012