Best Show Lines 2012

Post by **happywaffle** » August 30th, 2012, 9:45 am

That's more like it. This thread better be lit up throughout OoB.

Halyn · Post by **Halyn** » August 30th, 2012, 9:47 am

During Rachel and Dave at OoB last night:

Rachel was playing a teenager who just snuck in as her dad, Dave catches her.

Dave: I know that you drink, smoke, boys!
Rachel: How do you know I smoke boys?!

Brad Hawkins · Post by **Brad Hawkins** » August 30th, 2012, 10:00 am

Masten wrote:The 2012 OOB process show.

Halyn to Kaci (who is playing an 11 year old girl playing Satan)

"I want your fiery cock inside me."

Eep!

Ruby W. · Post by **Ruby W.** » August 30th, 2012, 3:41 pm

In the OOB Escorts show...

Andreas' charactered was being bullied by the rest of the players for the whole show, when, 3/4's of the way into the show, Andreas gets up and walks, painstakingly slowly, across the stage to exit. To our horror, he's obviously using crutches and has deformed legs. It was the most horrifying, surprising, (and therefore hilarious) 3 minutes of any improv show I've ever seen.

Marc, Alex, myself and Lindsey could not speak (due to breaking) for a long time.

Ryan Hill · Post by **Ryan Hill** » August 30th, 2012, 4:26 pm

Ruby W. wrote:In the OOB Escorts show...

Andreas' charactered was being bullied by the rest of the players for the whole show, when, 3/4's of the way into the show, Andreas gets up and walks, painstakingly slowly, across the stage to exit. To our horror, he's obviously using crutches and has deformed legs. It was the most horrifying, surprising, (and therefore hilarious) 3 minutes of any improv show I've ever seen.

Marc, Alex, myself and Lindsey could not speak (due to breaking) for a long time.

I LOVED this moment.

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · August 30th, 2012, 5:02 pm

"That's calling the kettle black! And the kettle's a pot!"
-Nicole Beckley to Caitlin Sweetlamb (whose character made pottery, you see...)

"I'm a creek in the summer!"
-Marc Majcher, discussing his virility

"Remember that time you removed my chakras?"
-Alex Dobrenko

Manhattan Stories, 8/25/2012

(there were so many more i've been trying to remember!)

Kayla Lane · Post by **Kayla Lane** » August 30th, 2012, 5:25 pm

Ruby W. wrote:In the OOB Escorts show...

Andreas' charactered was being bullied by the rest of the players for the whole show, when, 3/4's of the way into the show, Andreas gets up and walks, painstakingly slowly, across the stage to exit. To our horror, he's obviously using crutches and has deformed legs. It was the most horrifying, surprising, (and therefore hilarious) 3 minutes of any improv show I've ever seen.

Marc, Alex, myself and Lindsey could not speak (due to breaking) for a long time.

... Oh. My. God.

I'm sorry to have missed this!!!

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · August 31st, 2012, 8:56 am

"Hitler would dream this...IF HITLER COULD DREAM!"
-Valerie Ward
ZEDTalks, 8/30/2012

Post by **happywaffle** » September 1st, 2012, 11:20 am

Y'all help me remember the best lines from Lampe's roast. There were some serious zingers.

"Did the cute kid from Modern Family swallow an inner tube?" --Curtis, re. Chuy

"She's seen more black dick than a YMCA locker room in Detroit." --Mike D, re. Shana Merlin

"She just got a job teaching drama at a middle school, which is great, cause nobody knows middle-school drama like Audrey Sansom." --Shana

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · September 3rd, 2012, 2:44 pm

Roy: "My Rosie was a peach."
Kareem: "Now she's in someone else's garden."
Val: "They've probably made cobbler out of her by now."

Kaci: (playing a nigh-unintelligible character moves the bench Roy and Val are sitting on so it's facing more downstage) "Beddah sta pitcha!" ("Better stage picture!")

really, any of Kaci's lines as that character should be nominated, but that one took a second for my brain decode and then caused me to fall out of my seat laughing.

-Parallelogramophonograph, 9/2/2012

"A true Scotsman never wears anything under his kilt!"
"Yes, but he usually at least remembers the kilt!"
-Beer Shark Mice, 9/2/2012

Halyn · Post by **Halyn** » September 3rd, 2012, 3:09 pm

Kaci: (playing a nigh-unintelligible character moves the bench Roy and Val are sitting on so it's facing more downstage) "Beddah sta pitcha!" ("Better stage picture!")

really, any of Kaci's lines as that character should be nominated, but that one took a second for my brain decode and then caused me to fall out of my seat laughing.

-Parallelogramophonograph, 9/2/2012

Yes! I had the same reaction and came here to post about that moment. So brilliant.

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · September 3rd, 2012, 4:03 pm

"GENTLEMEN'S MEDITATION!"
-Five Deadly Improvisors, 9/1/2012

Post by **happywaffle** » September 4th, 2012, 2:15 am

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell wrote:really, any of Kaci's lines as that character should be nominated, but that one took a second for my brain decode and then caused me to fall out of my seat laughing.

For me it was Roy saying "What vision of loveliness is this?" …about himself. The line itself wasn't the thing, the whole moment was just perfect. It brought the house down.

Chuy! · Post by **Chuy!** » September 4th, 2012, 2:23 am

From the Roast:

Everything Matt Sadler said... It was like every improviser had brought a knife to a gunfight...

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · September 4th, 2012, 9:19 am

happywaffle wrote:
Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell wrote:really, any of Kaci's lines as that character should be nominated, but that one took a second for my brain decode and then caused me to fall out of my seat laughing.
For me it was Roy saying "What vision of loveliness is this?" …about himself. The line itself wasn't the thing, the whole moment was just perfect. It brought the house down.

yes, that was a brilliant moment. especially when he popped up in the background of the last scene between Kaci and Val. pure brilliance.