Alex Nixon Memorial Service

[Marc Majcher]

Mark, just to clarify - I wasn't calling you out on a perfectly valid emotional response. I just meant to express my own.

No worries, man, understood. I just get pissed when good people go. I am angry-man.

[starkserious]

Thanks everyone for what you all said here about Alex. I will miss him greatly. he was truly brilliant, sometimes to his own fault. I'd often tell him, "Alex, don't analyze this too much", but he couldn't stop and sometimes that is the curse of being so damn intelligent. I have so many great memories of our improv days, CSz, NCT, classes, Wooden Nickel, $10Bourbon, just hanging out after rehearsals, shows. Alex, drinking his cold vodka with a pepper in it or just milk with cinammon. too many more mention in this post right now. Laughing and making fun of all kind of things. Man he had a razor sharp wit. Stuff that he could come up with instanteously that would take me days to think up. You could give him just about anything to learn and he'd learn it and know more about it then you quickly.

I am experiencing a great range of intense emotions which I'm told I'm supposed to be ok feeling whatever comes up. The tough thing here is we are all suffering over this loss. Losing someone you care about leaves a void in your life. And it takes time to heal. when my father died many years ago, I learned that "We don't choose grief, It's chooses us."

it's ok to feel whatever you feel here about him. I appreicate all the support and kind words people have sent me and Erin.
We will honor him Sunday night and support each other through this tragedy of our friend.

[Justin D.]

I didn't know Alex very well. Actually, I only talked to him a handful of times. He was incredibly nice every time. I can't offer an anecdote or even much of a characteristic other than the fact that he had a smile on his face whenever I saw him. What I can offer is something my grandfather told me when a stepfather, a man I was incredibly close to and only years later knew how much he influenced my life, passed away. It's something I used as best as I could when my grandfather, who was a constant father-figure in my life, passed away years later.

"Try not to be sad he's gone, but be happy you knew him while he was here."

[joplin]

i wish i knew alex better. i've probably only had a handful of conversations with him. I've always enjoyed his style. He was easy to talk to. My heart goes out to everyone on this.

[apiaryist]

My deepest sympathies. Alex always seemed so serene and warm. I don't know what to say.

[Wesley]

Oh man, I'm just catching up on everything for reasons I'll post down in technical help, but this is incredibly sad news.

I liked Alex a lot.
Though we rarely worked directly together on a project, we had many crossing paths, ranging from Maestros to sharing a green room when our troupes performed together to being part of the same family in troupes like Hoover's Blanket at different times.
He was a superbly nice guy and it always seemed to me that he was a guy who really knew and understood his craft and what it was he wanted to be doing with it. He was operating on his own terms and I respected that greatly.
I did rehearse with him on occasion and spoke from time to time after shows and I always admired his uniqueness in the community. His wardrobe, his twisted sense of humor, his recognizable laugh and vocal cadence...it all added up one of our communities most unique and memorable members.

He will be missed.

[Jules]

For anyone who feels the need or desire to continue to talk and process this very difficult experience, I am working with a grief counselor who is experienced in matters of this nature. Please email me offline at heresygirl@hotmail.com if you would be interested in finding out more about a private group session with such a counselor.

Peace.

[kbadr]

Thank you to Shana for organizing this. I think we all needed it.

It's a shame that we need to lose someone to get us to come together and celebrate them. Remember that at the annual banquet when those love envelopes hang on the clothes line.

[HerrHerr]

I love you guys!

[Jessica]

I feel so lucky to be associated with you people.

[erin]

I'm so glad we did this. Big thanks to Shana and everyone else who came out to remember Alex. I'm incredibly grateful to be part of such an amazing, supportive community.

And I agree with Kareem-remember to celebrate the people you have before they're gone. And watch out b/c all of your love envelopes at the banquet are going to have 30 page papers on why I love you stuffed in there. deal with it.

[Asaf]

So all day today I was thinking about how I wished I could be there for Alex's memorial. I heard from a couple of folks how great it was and how inspiring it was to have everyone speak. Were I there, this is what I would have to say:

I cannot recall a time when I ran into Alex Nixon that he did not have a smile on his face. I mean ever. I did not know him long, but in that time there were a bunch of rehearsals for $10 Bourbon that I coached and a class of mine that I taught, and all the time times around the Hideout. I can very clearly see in my head him smiling in every one of those moments. A genuine smile, not just a polite smile. It is this memory that makes this particularly hard to process. The thing about Alex's smile was that it was the kind that drew me in. I was always in the mood to talk to him, every time I saw him. That can be a rare thing to find someone who you were always in the mood for. I would always take the the opportunity to touch base with him. It might be a short interchange, but it was always pleasant. Fulfilling, even. We would discuss theater or Austin or the world. The man was whip-crack smart and just seemed to be well-versed in a lot of things. But without being showy about it. Some people love to show off what they know. I know I do. Alex seemed to love to share and that came through in his improv. He recognized improv as a series of moments and he did his all to make those moments happen. That is why I invited him to be a part of the next project I was planning. I was so happy he said yes. He was going to be integral, because it was going to be Theatre and I needed people around me with his deep love and understanding of it. He was excited about it. He was going to brush up on his George Bernard Shaw. Without him around, I have lost some motivation for the project. I am not in the mood to find someone to take his place in it, because frankly I don't think I would have.

I thank you for this moment of indulgence.

[HerrHerr]

I want to give thanks to those of you who live out of town or had to be out of town for the memorial who have posted messages, sent e-mails, made calls. I've reconnected with many people whom I haven't been in touch with for awhile and I think that goes for many others. I'm still trying to figure out things and my days are filled with much melancholy, but I also know that every one of you cares so damn much. This is what gets me through the moments of sadness and the tears are becoming more and more tears of joy--that I knew Alex and that I know all of you. Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide" seems to put me in a very comforting place.

[Marc Majcher]

Life is short, people. Live it.

The service was amazing. Everyone who was there, everyone who sent their thoughts, you people, I'm glad to know every one of you, and I look forward to being a part of each others' lives for a long time.

[coyote-moon]

I knew Alex very well before he moved to Texas. Alex was a brilliant man, but as fragile as the summer's last remaining leaf in a blustering storm. I loved Alex dearly and that caused many problems for him. He was afraid -- even terrified -- of love and commitment of any sort, knowing pain and heartache awaited at the end of any relationship. Alex was very bothered by watching his elderly parents grow frail. He translated that fear into his fitness obsession. He once told me that his mother always told him that love is the most powerful force in the universe, but he wouldn't allow himself to be loved. Respected, yes. But never loved. When emotions surfaced, he would end the relationship. So I hid my love just to be near him. Alex told me if he ever married, it would be on Halloween at midnight with all guests in costume. Typical! Alex loved people one-on-one, but he despised humanity. His least favorite character of all time was Elaine from Seinfeld. He thought she was despicable. In all my years of knowing Alex, he never held a job and never finished a project or achieved his greatest goal of directing a film. He loved being a student, but he could not commit to things that would hold him in one place. We spent many days and nights together, walking through parks, eating at cafes, talking about movie plots, writing lyrics, watching Jeopardy (he never missed an answer). His crystal blue eyes had a stare that would melt ice, he had a touch that was as gentle as velvet, a passion as hot as fire, a kiss that made my brain collapse. Alex was my muse, my counselor, my best friend, my torturer. I'm not surprised he took his life. I was afraid he'd ended his life once in 1992. I wonder what finally pushed him over the edge. I have missed him since the day he left Seattle. But I will see you again one day, Alex, and we'll pick up right where we left off -- sharing music, movies and laughter. Rest well, my friend. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you.