Austin Improv

DONUTS

Sweet

Sticky

Donuts

I do it because I love it and it's in my soul and it won't let go.

"I love that this is an art form where the moment I stop growing is the moment I start dying."
- Susan Messing

That.

I'm no stranger to the rain
I'm a friend of thunder
Friend, is it any wonder lightning strikes me?
I've fought with the devil
Got down on his level
But I never gave in, so he gave up on me

I'm no stranger to the rain
I can spot bad weather
And I'm good at finding shelter in a downpour
I've been sacrificed by brothers
Crucified by lovers
But through it all I withstood the pain
I'm no stranger to the rain

I do improv because of my ever-elusive search for connection and community. Between 1999 and 2001 I was in a college improv group that somehow became part of my family during that period of my life. Throw in one or two people who were not directly involved in the group, but were just as important to me and you would have my whole family. My biological family is very distant. I grew up in a rather cold and unemotional setting. This, among many other reasons, explains why I am outwardly aloof and very reluctant to let down my guard. I have never been that close to a group of people since, but hope to find that closeness again. I don't give a shit about just making people laugh. It is fun, I guess, but for me the most rewarding thing about performance and about being part of a group is the feeling of total connectedness. There is nothing that is more important to me than feeling completely connected with another human being or group of human beings. People say it all the time, but it really has become more difficult in 2008 to find this level of connection. We text, email, blog, forum post, etc., etc., but through all of this we have somehow pushed one another away. People are becoming more and more afraid of each other, and in doing so we have become more afraid of ourselves. We are great at quips and rapid reparte through social exchange, but more meaning is lost to us each day. When was the last time you had a good cry amongst friends? When was the last time someone gave you a REAL, bone crushing hug? If you are like me, you cannot remember.

The search is ongoing. I know that I make little sense to many of the people who know of me. Trust me, I make little sense to myself much of the time. However, through all of my valleys and darkness and self-indulgent sadness I do have hope - Hope that it will happen again someday, and this time I will not let go.

Why I do/love improv are one in the same: there are infinite story possibilities. Hence why some refer to it as "quantum theatre": everything and nothing happening at once at the same time.

Because it's FUN! and I love having a place where it's ok to be silly and not look cool. Also for the funny, pretty ladies!

I don't think we really know why we do anything, and "reasons" are usually either educated guesses or attempts to justify behavior after the fact.

That said:

I've been doing this for three years and still look forward to every class, every rehearsal, and every show. That's . . . unusual.

I've been in plenty of situations where I was told it's okay to fail. Improv is the only situation in which I feel it's okay to fail . . . or, more accurately, that the only failure would lie in trying not to fail . . . or, even more accurately, that "fail" is an idea that has no place in improv.

I love all the improvisers I play with, even the ones I don't like.

I can see the distance between where I am and where I want to be, and even though I know I might never make it across I'm willing to spend the rest of my life trying.

Improv is the art most likely to take me to a place where I let go of all my training and respond immediately and intuitively to what's there in the moment. (Even though I still have a lot more training to go through before I can start to let go of it.)

Every spiritual truth I've glimpsed is completely applicable to my improv, and every improv truth I've glimpsed is completely applicable to my spiritual life.

NO EQUIPMENT. (Sorry, Brockman.)

It feels like an honorable use of my time here.

Things I don't do it for, ideally: money (ha!), fame, approval, therapeutic purposes, the audience.

Also: donuts.

ratliff wrote:Also: donuts.

wait! ... there's donuts?

All I've ever really wanted to do was play. I'm a grown man now and I still get to play. Got to cut down on the donuts though.

I do it for Johnny. Nature's first green is gold, yo.

because i love telling stories.

because i love wearing masks.

because i love making truth out of lies.

because i love connecting to one of the oldest traditions in theatre history.

because i can create something potentially beautiful and magical instantly, which is a change to the grueling process of doing a play or a film.

because it's something i found that i'm good at and sometimes i need to be reminded i'm good at stuff.

because Jeremy knows where all the bodies are buried.

because chicks dig it.

because i can be a Star Trek officer, a badass German doctor, a homeless folk hero, a father, a boyfriend, a cop or Cinderella and no one bats an eye.

because it's a chance to every once in a while get together with friends and colleagues and perform the rough draft of a scene or a play as we're collaboratively writing it in the moment. and that's pretty damn nifty.

because i can.

ratliff wrote:Things I don't do it for . . . approval

totally for approval

ratliff wrote:Also: donuts.

Cochise does it for the donuts.

I do improv because I love working in a creative and truly collaborative ensemble.

One day I was reading about French theatrical history and I had an idea.
6 months later PGraph took my idea and ran with it.
6 months after that we were doing that show together to new audiences in LA, Providence, and then Hawaii.
That's pretty amazing and exciting to me.

I find new reasons why I want to keep doing improv every day, and some reasons why maybe I shouldn't, but ultimately I keep doing it because of the work I get to do alongside the rest of my ensemble.