Austin Improv

Did you know that 16 year olds don't have to take driver's ed?

In the early 90s, when I got my license, we didn't have to take a driver's test. We had to log X many hours with the driving instructor and take a written exam.

On every single one of my "practice drives" with my instructor I almost took out the same mailbox on this one corner of our route. The week I got my license, I took out a different mailbox.

All this is why I still, to this day, can't parallel park worth a damn and drive like a grandma.

HONKING. People in Texas honk way more than I was used to in Northern CA. Honking in Oakland was an invitation to get your back window shot out. It usually happens when I'm trying to merge or change lanes and people don't want to let me in, even though I'm ahead of them so I have the right of way. Or else where I'm at a light that just changed and I'm shifting into gear and about to start moving but aren't quick enough for an impatient person behind me.
The action of honking conveys one of two things: Fuck You, or Warning Danger! In the case of the former when I get honked at I usually look around, slow a bit, make eye contact, and either mouth "What?" or sometimes even flip them off. This is not an escalation, it is a proportionate reply in kind. Sometimes they look surprised as though they thought they could honk at me and I wouldn't mind. Then follows an angry glare-down via my rear view mirror for several blocks. It always spoils my drive and probably misdirects my full attention from the road. I've been cut off plenty of times, I'd never honk at someone just trying to merge. In situations where Texans often honk, I prefer to flash my headlights. Honking is only for an emergency.

I honk ALL THE TIME. I'm the god damn rolling righteous.

YOU! You didn't use your turn signal and I almost rear-ended you. HONK!

YOU! Your ipod makes you not pay attention to the fact that I'M DRIVING and you're meandering into the street, college kid. HONK!

YOU! You're on a bike and I'm slamming on my brakes in the middle of the intersection so I don't hit you because you don't think stop signs pertain to YOU. HONK!

YOU! You flew by a line of cars patiently waiting to merge but you're too awesome to wait so you sped ahead and now you want to get in front of me. HONK!

YOU! You're TEXTING and weaving. HONK!

YOU! You're cute! HONK!

Basically, Drew hates me.

if someone does something asshole-ish that puts me or others in danger, i'll lay on the horn. or if i'm sitting behind someone who's clearly not paying attention to what's going on (light's turned green, cars in front of them have started moving, etc.), i'll give it a tap just to stir them from whatever reverie they've found themselves in. beyond that, i tend to leave it untouched.

Shitty drivers exist everywhere. Every time someone from out of town visits they complain about how people drive here. Every time I'm driving in a new city, I think everyone on the road is a fucking lunatic. (Dallas, anyone) Everyone sucks at driving except you. Location makes no difference.

When first in line at a light, I feel it is my civic duty (and everyone's)...so that as many people as possible get through the light...to be in gear and ready to go when the light turns green. I won't honk if you don't, but I'll think all kinds of horrible things about you.

vine311 wrote:Shitty drivers exist everywhere. Every time someone from out of town visits they complain about how people drive here. Every time I'm driving in a new city, I think everyone on the road is a fucking lunatic. (Dallas, anyone) Everyone sucks at driving except you. Location makes no difference.

one of the sketches in Topping's Frontera Fest show described this concept nicely (and hilariously) using sex as her analogy..."driving IS sex"

vine311 wrote:Shitty drivers exist everywhere. Every time someone from out of town visits they complain about how people drive here. Every time I'm driving in a new city, I think everyone on the road is a fucking lunatic. (Dallas, anyone) Everyone sucks at driving except you. Location makes no difference.

Exactly.

jillybee72 wrote:

vine311 wrote:Shitty drivers exist everywhere. Every time someone from out of town visits they complain about how people drive here. Every time I'm driving in a new city, I think everyone on the road is a fucking lunatic. (Dallas, anyone) Everyone sucks at driving except you. Location makes no difference.

Exactly.

(Oh, I'm a horrible driver.)



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If you can’t stomach being hated by a portion of the world and loved by another, then you don’t deserve to have a blog.
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I would very much rather not drive. Public transportation, bikes, walking - I like them all more.

i LOVE driving...i just hate driving in the city. lol

ejbrammer wrote:I would very much rather not drive. Public transportation, bikes, walking - I like them all more.

The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland, Liz.

vine311 wrote:Shitty drivers exist everywhere. Every time someone from out of town visits they complain about how people drive here. Every time I'm driving in a new city, I think everyone on the road is a fucking lunatic. (Dallas, anyone) Everyone sucks at driving except you. Location makes no difference.

Also this is the answer to the original question. Thread over.

The most noticeable thing for me when I first arrived in Austin was the following distance of most cars. Where I grew up the distance that most folks use in driving here would have been considered tail-gating. Also note that we did not have parties by the same label.

I don't know what the law for driving distance is in Texas, but when I was learning to drive I was taught in (state-mandated) drivers ed that at a stop you should leave at least one car length between you and the car in front of you and when on the freeway because it takes longer to stop you should leave at minimum 2 or 3 car lengths between you. I think that keeping a safer following distance in traffic allows for smoother merging. Gene is right though. In most other states folks know that it's every other car. It's easy and it keeps traffic moving.

Ok, one more...

Why do Austinites speed up when I put my signal on?? Using a turn signal is a safe, courteous and law-abiding thing to do... why do Austinites want to immediately make it impossible to do the thing I'm signaling to do? Since moving here I've had to resort to rolling down my window, sticking my head out and making eye contact with another driver then using puppy dog eyes to ask if I can move over. It would be awesome if my signal did the trick like it does in Oregon and Colorado.

vine311 wrote:Shitty drivers exist everywhere. Every time someone from out of town visits they complain about how people drive here. Every time I'm driving in a new city, I think everyone on the road is a fucking lunatic. (Dallas, anyone) Everyone sucks at driving except you. Location makes no difference.

the type of shitty varies.

For example in Oregon everybody drives slow. BUT the driving is very safe there.

In Colorado people don't watch the road, but they keep a decent relative following distance...

In Austin people drive like assholes, but they're friendly in person... so... um...

see, i always try to REWARD people who use their signals by slowing down and letting them over...whereas an asshole who just swerves over or tries to crowd me out of the lane will find a pernicious obstacle in his path, or mighty hornage laid upon them.

the way i learned it here was the two second rule...pick a landmark, and you should be able to count at least two seconds between when the car in front of you passes it and when you pass it. it's difficult because you find yourself having to recalculate every once in a while, but i like it because it takes rate into account (the faster you're going, the more space you need between you and the car ahead of you to stop effectively). of course, this also means you can be right on top of someone's bumper in traffic and still be in accordance with the rule, so some discretion can be used.