Austin Improv

185 stegosauri walk into a bar and order burgers. the bartender says, "oy, this is going to kill the dishwasher." the stegosauri say, "don't worry, we brought our own plates."

185 dinosaurs walk into a bar. they're regulars. the bartender says, "it looks like you guys are getting beer bellies - have you gained weight?" the dinosaurs say, "we don't know. recent evidence suggests we don't have scales."
(published in science last year, it looks like dinosaurs had a covering more like bird feathers than lizard scales)

185 brontosauri walk into a bar. before they can order the bartender looks at them and says, "let me guess. long necks?"

I'm trying so hard for a coprolite joke, but I can't think for shit today.

185 dinosaurs walk into a bar. The bartender says to the first dinosaur to reach the bar: "Don, meet the new barmaid, Tara. Don, Tara. Tara, Don."

REALly sweet. keep em coming. some of you are playacting all shy. let it out.

also another note. it has to be "185 dinosaurs" in order to fit into the show. although i really like the longnecks one.

185 Lesbian Dinosaurs, a rare breed, walk into bar, the bar back having never seen their kind stands in awe and drops his beer. The bartender laughs and says "What, never seen a "Lick-alota-puss"...?

10 minutes later a 185 obviously gay dinos walk into the same bar... the bar back sweeping up his mess says "wait, let me guess... "MyAssIsSourous"?


Ha. Don't forget to tip your nectar providers.. I am out. GOOOOOO!

185 dinos walk into bar
bartender says sorry can't serve 185 dinosaurs
185 dinos ask "now what's that fuss-all about?" (fossil)

185 dinosaurs walk into a bar. Apology accepted.

185 dinosaurs walk into a bar, the bartender says, "sorry the service is so slow. We only have a skeleton crew working tonight."

185 dinosaurs walk into a bar, to the utter astonishment and absolute annoyance of creationists around the world.

shksprtx wrote:185 dinosaurs walk into a bar, to the utter astonishment and absolute annoyance of creationists around the world.

185 dinosaurs walked into a bar, which we all know is impossible because the world is only 6,000 years old.

Wesley wrote:

shksprtx wrote:185 dinosaurs walk into a bar, to the utter astonishment and absolute annoyance of creationists around the world.

185 dinosaurs walked into a bar, which we all know is impossible because the world is only 6,000 years old.

OR:

185 dinosaurs walk into a bar, which completely invalidates the fossil record.

Andy P wrote:185 dinosaurs walk into a bar. Apology accepted.

Be here now, Andy.

shksprtx wrote:

Wesley wrote:

shksprtx wrote:185 dinosaurs walk into a bar, to the utter astonishment and absolute annoyance of creationists around the world.

185 dinosaurs walked into a bar, which we all know is impossible because the world is only 6,000 years old.

OR:

185 dinosaurs walk into a bar, which completely invalidates the fossil record.

On second thought, wouldn't 185 hypothetical dinosaurs walking into a hypothetical bar actually support creationist and/or intelligent design theories and discredit evolution?

I mean, doesn't one of the key arguments in creationism/ID center on the idea that the fossil record isn't near as old as we think?

As a lapsed Pastafarian, I tend to find all of the above rather ridiculous anyway...

/end threadjack

shksprtx wrote:
On second thought, wouldn't 185 hypothetical dinosaurs walking into a hypothetical bar actually support creationist and/or intelligent design theories and discredit evolution?

I mean, doesn't one of the key arguments in creationism/ID center on the idea that the fossil record isn't near as old as we think?

not quite. it might change our idea of how birds evolved (since we think dinosaurs are their ancestors), but it wouldn't discredit evolution. because even if these dinosaurs are alive now, that is not proof that they were designed by an intelligent being.

also, back on topic . . . i would like to argue that the joke still works if used as follows:

185 dinosaurs walk into a bar. before they can order the bartender looks up at them and says, "lemme guess. long necks?"

I keep trying variations on this and not getting it quite right.

185 dinosaurs walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "Wow, I had no idea Aerosmith was on tour."

Look! A graph about dinosaurs! It shows that Tyrannosaurs had most of their mortality at older ages. Not many juveniles died, which explains why today we find so few fossilized juvenile Tyrannosaurs.



Erickson, G.M., P.J. Currie, B.D. Inouye & A.A. Winn. 2006. Tyrannosaur Life Tables: An Example of Nonavian Dinosaur Population Biology. Science 313: 213-217.