Write a joke for Kazillionaire*

deroosisonfire · Post by **deroosisonfire** » July 13th, 2006, 2:25 pm

185 stegosauri walk into a bar and order burgers. the bartender says, "oy, this is going to kill the dishwasher." the stegosauri say, "don't worry, we brought our own plates."

185 dinosaurs walk into a bar. they're regulars. the bartender says, "it looks like you guys are getting beer bellies - have you gained weight?" the dinosaurs say, "we don't know. recent evidence suggests we don't have scales."
(published in science last year, it looks like dinosaurs had a covering more like bird feathers than lizard scales)

185 brontosauri walk into a bar. before they can order the bartender looks at them and says, "let me guess. long necks?"

Wesley · Post by **Wesley** » July 13th, 2006, 4:16 pm

I'm trying so hard for a coprolite joke, but I can't think for shit today.

Roy Janik · Post by **Roy Janik** » July 13th, 2006, 4:27 pm

185 dinosaurs walk into a bar. The bartender says to the first dinosaur to reach the bar: "Don, meet the new barmaid, Tara. Don, Tara. Tara, Don."

beardedlamb · Post by **beardedlamb** » July 13th, 2006, 5:09 pm

REALly sweet. keep em coming. some of you are playacting all shy. let it out.

also another note. it has to be "185 dinosaurs" in order to fit into the show. although i really like the longnecks one.

craigy · Post by **craigy** » July 13th, 2006, 11:56 pm

185 Lesbian Dinosaurs, a rare breed, walk into bar, the bar back having never seen their kind stands in awe and drops his beer. The bartender laughs and says "What, never seen a "Lick-alota-puss"...?

10 minutes later a 185 obviously gay dinos walk into the same bar... the bar back sweeping up his mess says "wait, let me guess... "MyAssIsSourous"?

Ha. Don't forget to tip your nectar providers.. I am out. GOOOOOO!

arthursimone · Post by **arthursimone** » July 14th, 2006, 12:53 am

185 dinos walk into bar
bartender says sorry can't serve 185 dinosaurs
185 dinos ask "now what's that fuss-all about?" (fossil)

Andy P · Post by **Andy P** » July 14th, 2006, 7:00 am

185 dinosaurs walk into a bar. Apology accepted.

185 dinosaurs walk into a bar, the bartender says, "sorry the service is so slow. We only have a skeleton crew working tonight."

shksprtx · Post by **shksprtx** » July 14th, 2006, 1:54 pm

185 dinosaurs walk into a bar, to the utter astonishment and absolute annoyance of creationists around the world.

Wesley · Post by **Wesley** » July 14th, 2006, 1:56 pm

shksprtx wrote:185 dinosaurs walk into a bar, to the utter astonishment and absolute annoyance of creationists around the world.

185 dinosaurs walked into a bar, which we all know is impossible because the world is only 6,000 years old.

shksprtx · Post by **shksprtx** » July 14th, 2006, 2:50 pm

Wesley wrote:
shksprtx wrote:185 dinosaurs walk into a bar, to the utter astonishment and absolute annoyance of creationists around the world.
185 dinosaurs walked into a bar, which we all know is impossible because the world is only 6,000 years old.

OR:

185 dinosaurs walk into a bar, which completely invalidates the fossil record.

ratliff · Post by **ratliff** » July 17th, 2006, 11:18 pm

Andy P wrote:185 dinosaurs walk into a bar. Apology accepted.

Be here now, Andy.

shksprtx · Post by **shksprtx** » July 17th, 2006, 11:48 pm

shksprtx wrote:
Wesley wrote:
shksprtx wrote:185 dinosaurs walk into a bar, to the utter astonishment and absolute annoyance of creationists around the world.
185 dinosaurs walked into a bar, which we all know is impossible because the world is only 6,000 years old.
OR:

185 dinosaurs walk into a bar, which completely invalidates the fossil record.

On second thought, wouldn't 185 hypothetical dinosaurs walking into a hypothetical bar actually support creationist and/or intelligent design theories and discredit evolution?

I mean, doesn't one of the key arguments in creationism/ID center on the idea that the fossil record isn't near as old as we think?

As a lapsed Pastafarian, I tend to find all of the above rather ridiculous anyway...

/end threadjack

deroosisonfire · Post by **deroosisonfire** » July 18th, 2006, 9:37 am

shksprtx wrote:
On second thought, wouldn't 185 hypothetical dinosaurs walking into a hypothetical bar actually support creationist and/or intelligent design theories and discredit evolution?

I mean, doesn't one of the key arguments in creationism/ID center on the idea that the fossil record isn't near as old as we think?

not quite. it might change our idea of how birds evolved (since we think dinosaurs are their ancestors), but it wouldn't discredit evolution. because even if these dinosaurs are alive now, that is not proof that they were designed by an intelligent being.

also, back on topic . . . i would like to argue that the joke still works if used as follows:

185 dinosaurs walk into a bar. before they can order the bartender looks up at them and says, "lemme guess. long necks?"

ratliff · Post by **ratliff** » July 18th, 2006, 10:07 am

I keep trying variations on this and not getting it quite right.

185 dinosaurs walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "Wow, I had no idea Aerosmith was on tour."

deroosisonfire · Post by **deroosisonfire** » July 18th, 2006, 10:30 am

Look! A graph about dinosaurs! It shows that Tyrannosaurs had most of their mortality at older ages. Not many juveniles died, which explains why today we find so few fossilized juvenile Tyrannosaurs.

Erickson, G.M., P.J. Currie, B.D. Inouye & A.A. Winn. 2006. Tyrannosaur Life Tables: An Example of Nonavian Dinosaur Population Biology. Science 313: 213-217.

Austin Improv

Write a joke for Kazillionaire*

when i was little i wanted to be a paleontologist