Live from Edinburgh

[Chuy!]

Compelling = everything you've said while gone...

[Jessica]

Oh my, I so want to go! Thanks for keeping us informed.

[Jon Bolden]

Brockman, these are GREAT. I'm glad you saw Noah on the 22 bus.

[mpbrockman]

Noah? Ha! Next time I'll say "hi".

Random tip #1: No matter how good your sense of direction is (and mine is pretty good) don't shortcut. Everything curves, dead ends and changes names at random. You may find a flight of stairs going in exactly the direction you need to go, take it, climb 100 steps... and find yourself in a dead end 20x20 courtyard with a bench, a tree and a vomiting man.

Odd (and slightly menacing) encounters with Scotsmen #1: Standing at a bus stop about 200A last night waiting for the night bus, an older gentleman stops, looks me up and down for a long moment and announces in a loud voice "You're drunk". In a fit of inspiration I respond "No, I'm American". He looks me up and down for another long moment and says "That, too" and staggers off.

General observation: Edinburgh gets somehow more menacing after midnight. More people drunk and yelling their fool heads off about nonsense, more being looked over seemingly as possible prey of some sort. The fun sort of raucous vibe accompanying the earlier hours transforms into something perceptibly darker. The guy yelling about the night buses being "the work of the devil" would have been funny if he wasn't grabbing and shaking people to make his point.

Well, I had a few more general tips and encounters with Scotsmen et al but I just realized it's showtime. Off I go, then.

[mpbrockman]

And... back again with more things. But first...

An enormous Waterstone bookstore without a single copy of any Julian Barnes novel! In the UK? I'm f*cking appalled!!

Random tip #2: Jaywalkers rejoice! There are no pedestrian laws here. Sure, there are crosswalks, but feel free to ignore them. Dance thru traffic if you have the nerve. However, with the traffic all on the wrong side of the street plus the numerous curves and roundabouts - "Look both ways" just doesn't cut it. Stick to the crosswalks in busier sections of town and use the lights. Even so, be prepared for cars coming out of nowhere and slamming on their brakes behind you when you didn't realize there was a behind you for them to come from.

Question none of my new Scots acquaintances have an answer for #1: What, precisely, is a firth. I'm staying right by the Firth of Forth and nobody seems to know what a firth is - an inlet, a bay, a sound? Kristin - little help here? I could look it up, but I'm far more interested in seeing how many more Scots get blank looks on their faces when I ask them.

Random tip #3: Just discovered this today, and what a difference it makes! Flyering (walking about handing out flyers to your show) is an indispensable part of getting people to come to your show. Turns out Michael and Amy walking around handing out flyers not so interesting. However, squeeze Amy into that sausage casing of a dress, put on that smeared makeup, have Michael grab guitar and hit the streets in character and BOOM! Sample from today.

Delilah to passerby: "You like Barbra Streisand?"
Passerby: Sure
(Michael starts playing "Evergreen")
Delilah: " Yeah? I'm just like her."
Michael: "On Quaaludes"
Delilah: (yelling and shaking fist in exultation) "Quaaludes!!!"
Passerby laughs, takes flyer and SHOWS UP!

Really, we're dumb - we should've figured this out days ago. Flyer in character and just riff away.

Odd (and slightly menacing) encounters with Scotsmen #2: Taking out the trash, er, rubbish from the flat this morning. Asked a man in the complex where the bin was. He politely showed me and then said, "The recycling's down at the other end if you're green". Now here's where he takes a step towards me and says, "You are Green, aren't you?" Yes, I could hear the capital "G". I really had to suppress some giggles since the guy was half my size and really seemed to be radiating that there would be some sort of horrible retribution were I to answer in the negative. So I said, "Yes", received my smile of approval and moved on.

Question none of my new Scots acquaintances have an answer for #2: A company called Lothian runs most of the local buses (yes, they're double-decker - no, the top part isn't open). Why are they mostly colored hot pink? When they all line up on Prince's Avenue it looks like a gay bus pride parade. Add to that the fact that most of them are carrying banner ads and pix for some new film called "The Expendables" starring Stallone/Lundgren/Schwartzenegger and a bunch of other muscleheads and the image is complete.

Random tip #4: If lost; do not ask a random local, do not ask a doorman, and generally speaking, do not even bother with asking Festival staff. None of them will say "I don't know". They will, however, give you complex directions leading away from where you wanted to be. I do not think this is malicious, I just think there's too much going on. Instead, ask a cop. They seem to know everything and are quite courteous except when... wait, more on that in a minute. You can distinguish the cops by their neon yellow vests. Actually, most city workers have neon yellow vests - but if you're over 18 and can't tell a cop from a street sweeper... uh, ask a cop.

OK - cop story. Cutting through Waverly Station (the train station in central Edinburgh), I see a seriously angry (inebriated?) woman screaming at a policeman about some nonsense. Her boyfriend is trying to calm her down. Now get this, rather than restraining the out-of-control woman; the cop has the boyfriend by the arm and is whacking him in the back of the head to punctuate his yelling back at the woman.

Yes, Aden - Bradbury Musical. It's called "2116". It was sold out by the time we got there last night. Don't worry - we'll try again.

Oops, Fringe Central is closing and I've typed enough for one day anyway.

More soon.

[kristin]

What, precisely, is a firth. I'm staying right by the Firth of Forth and nobody seems to know what a firth is - an inlet, a bay, a sound? Kristin - little help here? I could look it up, but I'm far more interested in seeing how many more Scots get blank looks on their faces when I ask them.

If you find out let me know. I could use a little more self-understanding. What *is* a Firth?

[mdalonzo]

Michael,

I have long longed to know what a firth is, myself, due to a lifelong fascination with Genesis, who have a song called "Firth of Fifth." So, I looked it up.

Firth is the word in the Lowland Scots language used to denote various coastal waters in Scotland. In mainland Scotland it is used to describe a large sea bay, or even a strait. In the Northern Isles it more usually refers to a smaller inlet. It is linguistically cognate to fjord (both from Proto-Germanic *ferþuz) which has a more constrained sense in English; a firth would most likely be called a fjord if it were situated in Scandinavia.

The more you know.

[mpbrockman]

It is linguistically cognate to fjord...

Makes sense. I always pictured fjords as more jagged; more associated with glacial melt/erosion and thus more steeply walled. Nevertheless, there you go.

Word of the day #1: eejit - yup, just what it sounds like. Idiot. What's funny to me is they use this spelling in print as well as speech. "Yer aff yer heid, ya eejit!"

Word of the day #2: fankle - something between "a fine mess" and "getting your panties in a bunch" as in "Dinnae get yersel' in a fankle".

The word I absolutely love hearing used in regular speech is "wee". I love it so much it may enter my permanent lexicon. I'm not sure why, but I just grin every time it's used (and it gets used all the time - "A wee (insert noun here").

Merlin, Beeler - I will try my best; but no promises (ya wee lasses!).

Miscommunications & misunderstandings between Amy and my former host have led to my relocating. I am no longer in Leith; but am now in the Orange Brae area of Midlothian. I will not dwell on this here except to say this has been a personally uncomfortable few days. Yuk. Hopefully a fresh start will dispel my current slight funk (am I in a fankle?)

As long as I'm giving vent to a little crankiness, I will add this: I am sick of shows!!! Here I am in a town with a fascinating history and landmarks/museums/galleries/gardens galore (not to mention a giant effing castle) and I'm spending most of my time in bars and small theaters watching shows of, um, uneven quality. I'm going to try to spend less time on show-watching and start taking in more of the city.

FYI, I'm not downing the quality of shows here. I've seen some good sketch, heard some good music, saw a pretty wee Asian woman set up a pole and dance (in a T-short and shorts... in the rain...) in the center of town, heard a French woman loudly recite a horrible poem in English about sleeping with someone for money for the first time (also in the center of town).

Oops, getting off track. There are just so many shows and street performances (about 2500) going on that it can be very hit and miss.

And I have yet to run into any improv that I would consider of Austin quality. I'll keep looking - but with a little less alacrity. Right now I want to see more of Edinburgh.

[Halyn]

Thank you so much for posting these, I get so excited when I see you've posted something new!

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

is "fankle" pronounced with a long a or a short a? because i'd very much like to start using that one...

[mpbrockman]

is "fankle" pronounced with a long a or a short a? because i'd very much like to start using that one...

Rhymes, more or less, with "ankle". When you throw the brogue on it, though, there's a touch of 'ae'.

Here's an odd observation. Churches. A lot of them are in disuse - as churches. I've seen a number with "TO LET" signs on them. Here are some other things I've seen churches in use as.

-A joinery (furniture making, I believe)
-An auto repair shop
-A dance club (I'm pretty sure St. Pilrig would not approve)
-Office spaces
-Flats
-Fringe venues

Hey, I have no philosophical problem with churches going the way of the dodo (sorry, JTM); but as an aesthete, I'm appalled. Some of these churches are lovely old buildings and to see, in the case of the auto repair shop, their faces ripped off so people can get their wee cars fixed is not unlike looking at a compound fracture.

OK - something lighter. No messing around in this country. If you need to attend to certain necessary bodily functions, don't look for a restroom, a head or even (as I expected) a W.C. Nope, there are big ol' signs that say "TOILET".

So file this under "There's a joke in here somewhere". Every time I see a "TO LET" sign, it looks like a "TOILET" sign with an "I" missing; which leads me to picture someone in a diminished state deciding to use the doorway of one of the aforementioned churches to relieve themselves. "Hey, the sign said..." St. Pilrig ruefully shakes his head somewhere...

I was surprised walking near Edinburgh Castle last night when it suddenly lit up in blue. I had to watch for a while to realize the lights are on a long red, muted white & blue rotation. I had just never chanced upon it while blue. Combined with the fires they light along the ramparts it was otherworldly - like a castle built in a gas giant. A Neptunian citadel.

Thank you to all who are reading along, I am rather enjoying using this as a supplementary journal and am pleased some of you are finding it enjoyable as well.

It's a lovely day today and about 1130A local. So I am going to walk up to nearby Fettes College, supposedly the inspiration for Hogwarts, and see what I can see.

[smerlin]

Love the updates! Keep it coming!

[KathyRose]

Perhaps when you return, you'll be inspired to read the Lymond Chronicles by Scottish historical novelist Dorothy Dunnett. (She was born in Dunfermline, Fife, and died in Edinburgh in 2001.)

The six-book series follows Frances Crawford of Lymond, an heroically flawed Scottish nobleman, from Scotland, England and France across mid-16th-century Europe, to Italy, Malta, Turkey and Russia, and eventually back home again. She did a masterful job of interweaving her fictional characters with historical people, places and events. She also tortured the hell out of Crawford along the way with a lot of suspense, thrilling action, uneasy romance, intense drama and high comedy.

The books are not always an easy read, containing as they do a lot of multi-lingual badinage (and song! and poetry!); nevertheless, the story arc is so brilliant that I've read the series at least 3 times and eventually bought the companion book that sheds light on the literary and historical references.

Before she ever wrote, she was an accomplished portrait artist, but it was her books that made her more widely known.

In 2006, a memorial stone to Lady Dunnet was laid alongside those of Robert Louis Stevenson, Robert Burns and Sir Walter Scott in the Makars' Court in Lady Stair's Close on the Royal Mile in Edinburgh. Should you come across it, you'll now know who she was.

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

Rhymes, more or less, with "ankle". When you throw the brogue on it, though, there's a touch of 'ae'.

much obliged!

Hey, I have no philosophical problem with churches going the way of the dodo (sorry, JTM); but as an aesthete, I'm appalled. Some of these churches are lovely old buildings and to see, in the case of the auto repair shop, their faces ripped off so people can get their wee cars fixed is not unlike looking at a compound fracture.

no need to apologize...the church as an institution has done as much damage to the faith it represents than anything else in history. but yes, architecturally, the buildings are typically so beautiful...it's a shame to deface such structural poetry. though on the worship side, while you can commune with God just as readily out in nature, in your bedroom or the basement of a high school...there is something to be said for a profound environment contributing to the mystery of the experience of faith. especially when people over here can't even build mosques. :p

OK - something lighter. No messing around in this country. If you need to attend to certain necessary bodily functions, don't look for a restroom, a head or even (as I expected) a W.C. Nope, there are big ol' signs that say "TOILET".

So file this under "There's a joke in here somewhere". Every time I see a "TO LET" sign, it looks like a "TOILET" sign with an "I" missing; which leads me to picture someone in a diminished state deciding to use the doorway of one of the aforementioned churches to relieve themselves. "Hey, the sign said..." St. Pilrig ruefully shakes his head somewhere...

wow, that's weird...one of my first experiences with improv was in high school theatre class. we were given pictures from a book to inspire a scene. my partner and i got an English picture of an old brick doorway with a sign hanging out saying "TOILET." i believe the scene was about a British father and son who owned and operated a rather upscale public "facilities," and of course he didn't want to follow in the family business, etc. after the scene was done, the teacher pointed out that the sign in the picture said "TO LET." i think that was the first time i realized the suggestion itself doesn't matter, only what you take from it.

anyway, just interesting to see that idea pop up again.

[Deano]

Love reading you Brockman, you're the Anthony Bourdain of Improv!