Austin Improv

Upon being called out as an compulsive eater by Tom Booker

"It doesn't feel compulsive. Its just something I'm doing."
-Kristin Firth Maestro 7/10

Asaf and Peter Rogers doing a rap battle as Inspector Gadget and Dr. Claw

"Go go gadget rhyme!" - Asaf
Maestro 7/10

Asaf and Jill last night in Switch:

Jill "I've got to push all the thoughts from the back of my head, to the front!"

Asaf "It's like a mental Altamont."

(I can't remember the exact Jill quote, but it was something that ended like that)

During last night's Institution Showcase, an afterschool melodrama occurred between Andy Hush, Ted Meredtith, and Asaf:

Andy: "What!? The whole Tomlinson Clan was smoking the reefer?!"

Ted: "Yeah well you know, their dad's Amish. They don't know. They probably thought it was just sage or something."

[Later, as the whole Tomlinson Clan arrives.]

Asaf: "Hey this is my rumspringa. I get to do whatever I want during this time before I go back to my Amish ways. Where can I find your Ruffles?"

Wow, I got three quotes in a row.

I must be getting GOOD!

Mark Carpenter, in the Snackers' Monday Night Mash show, as the worst stranger to sit next to on a flight:

"I hope you didn't bring any reading material, because I didn't and I want to get to know you."

"There wasn't a 'Crotcho' in the Marx Brothers."

Roy Janik in Squirrel Buddies with Jon Bolden in The Threefer tonight


"I'm a defensive driving instructor. I have a heightened sense of my surroundings."

Asaf in Switch with Jill Bernard in The Threefer tonight

Valerie as a floozy puppet (Crack) on a talk show about housing issues and HOA's
"Someone called me a HOA once..."

Also from Crack, August 6, 2010 (puppets say the damnedest things!)

Puppet via Topping Haggerty:

"Sex with Jell-o is sex with something that might have been an animal, and that's HOT!"

(on the legality or morality of conjugal relations with inanimate objects)

Gene Joe, as a bat in the Cagematch on Aug 7 2010:
"Their Gaydar is messing up my Radar!"

John Ratliff to Lisa Jackson in Crack! Puppet Musical

Hollywood customs agent: I know there still a soldier in there somewhere.
Strung out actor/veteran: I know! I have PTSD!

"I never wanted to be a party clown."

~Tom Booker, You're Not My Real Dad
OOB 2010

Jewish Eagle Wizard (or maybe Jewish Wizard Eagle)--
You're Not My Real Dad show

"She."
Ratliff in You're Not My Real Dad

"We didn't even try to give her CPR"
Zach, referring to Jill Bernard's dead body when Val gave Jill's also dead dog CPR during The Starter Kit's Out of Bounds Murder! show.

"Sum it up, Grandpa!"
James in the Snackers show

"You have summoned me, and I have come." - John Ratliff, Austin Secrets OOB Show

Call back of God's voice but this time as the voice on a video that a girl had found of her parents having sex.

"Well, SOMEONE'S in the kitchen with Piotr!"

-Jeff Amos. 710 Split. nearly broke me.