worst review you ever got?

[mpbrockman]

I don't think I've ever had a really "bad" review. I've had shows I was in where the band was given a lukewarm review, but never an outright pan.

I do remember getting slammed a once with my high school rock band (and lest anyone forget, we were working professionally, not just as a glorified garage band).

Before I mention the next review, remember I was a boy soprano on his awkward way to baritone/bass.

The reviewer wrote "They did a remarkable rendition of "Limelight", mostly due to Michael Brockman's Gedde Lee-like voice and then a much weaker version of Judas Priest's "You've Got Another Thing Coming" due to the same voice".

At age 17, that hurt a bit (I suppose somewhere in the back of my head it still does).

I also remember playing with a band in L.A. that did a college party at Pomona. The reviewer spent less time reviewing our show than he did being incensed at the fact that we made "R-O-C-K in the USA", "That's What I Like About You" and "On the Dark Side" into a medley. Goddammit, they use the same E-A-D chord structure (as do about a hundred other songs). I believe he termed our medley as "a crime". We thought it was a way to get three popular (at the time) but sucky tunes out of the way in a short period of time.

I still think I'm right about that one.

All that aside, here's a thought for those who care about this kind of sh*t. Remember; a reviewer is like a eunuch in a harem. He knows how it's done, he sees it done every day - but he can't do it himself.

[Spots]

Remember; a reviewer is like a eunuch in a harem. He knows how it's done, he sees it done every day - but he can't do it himself.

Seconded. My time hanging around film school gave me the same perspective. Anything that has to do with judging good tastes becomes counterproductive to the concept of feeling inspired. And you got to feel inspired in order to make good shit (in my opinion).

That's usually what all the details are getting at: "It lacked inspiration."

One time I went on a first date with someone who was very passionate about becoming a music producer. We were sitting on a patio and musicians were playing inside. She kept making little notes about their performance and reassured herself, "See? I would be a bad ass producer because I catch these things." They were all negative comments so I thought to myself, "how is someone who nitpicks and analyzes every little detail EVER going to inspire a good performance out of anybody?" So I transitioned the conversation to improv and subtly made this point. Naturally she immediately interrupted, "There! He's doing it again! Haha. He should stick to lower G."

But I've had my fair share of nitpicking too. You just have to pick your battles. Improv has been a great learning experience for applying filters for that sort of thing. Inspiration always come first.

[mpbrockman]

You just have to pick your battles.

There's something major that hasn't occurred to your friend.

Look,I've been able to legitimately tack the "producer" label onto my resume for nearly twenty years now, so I hope I have at least a little insight into this.

A producer is a collaborator, not a dictator. You roll on the musician playing it his/her way and then you suggest they try it your way and get that take too. The (in the age of unlimited digital tracks) you have them try something completely off the beam just for fun. Hell, have 'em run a fourth. Then you all sit down in the control room together & listen. Then you negotiate.

It's not about catching the mistakes, it's about what contributes best to the song. Sometimes your musician is right, more often than not (if you're a good producer) you are. But it's really not about who's right or wrong or who catches what. It's about the song.

I take it your friend also doesn't have a lot of session time under her belt. Otherwise she would know about things like composite tracks and the wonders of digital editing.

Suggestion, persuasion, negotiation (and, of course, editing) are the tools of a music producer. If she wants to dictate, she should write, record and produce her own material.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but your friend sounds like she has a lot to learn.

[Spots]

Oh, didn't realize that would hit so close to home Brockman. But this notion applies across the board.

[DollarBill]

this is the worst review i've ever gotten and easily the funniest.

To be fair... That show really wasn't "so great." I remember being nervous and not really going after it and not being patient while I sang. Still, the review when compared to other reviews was way worse than that show when compared to other improv shows.

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

this is the worst review i've ever gotten and easily the funniest.

To be fair... That show really wasn't "so great." I remember being nervous and not really going after it and not being patient while I sang. Still, the review when compared to other reviews was way worse than that show when compared to other improv shows.

i'm sure your skit was fine, Bill...

[EmilyBee]

I personally get antsy when someone talks about how I looked, and doesn't mention a thing about the performance, in improv as well as in singing.

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

i was doing Cabaret back in college, playing Herr Schultz. the Statesman reviewed it and slammed my performance...as Cliff. apparently the reviewer got the names turned around when he was looking at the program or something. so i was trebly troubled...one, because now people would think i wasn't very good, two, because my friend Josh was playing Cliff so i felt bad that he'd gotten a bad review and three, because it didn't mention my actual performance at all, good or bad. which might seem like contradictory concerns...but actors don't have to be rational, damn it!

[Sully]

Dude! My mom grew up on a farm 20 miles from Storm Lake. It's where the Walmart is... and the Movie theater...and most things that represent current civilization. That's freaking nuts.

They are funny people though, so i don't doubt they could throw out better jokes than these yokels.

[starkserious]

Worst review I ever got was on doing a comedy show in Killeen for a bunch of army guys who where getting ready to be shipped out to war in Afghanistan after 9/11. They booed us off stage and even threw beer on us because our comedy wasn’t dirty enough for them.