Best show lines-2009

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · September 18th, 2009, 6:42 pm

a couple of other choice OOB lines that stuck in my mind...

"I'm sorry for your loss." -Erin Molson, repeatedly, at the Girls Girls Girls show. it's all in the delivery and timing.

Tom (slowly crossing the stage): "DOOOOON'T!"
Asaf: "Oh, don't listen to Old Man Stupid." -Tom Booker and Asaf Ronen, You're Not My Real Dad

"I think the worm guy could've gotten a little more action." -Kareem Badr, final line in the Impro Melbourne show.

"......" -Robin Goodfellow, repeatedly, in Buddy Daddy. (i'm only half kidding with this one)

Jeff · Post by **Jeff** » September 22nd, 2009, 3:48 am

Jeff: We're criminals.

Ceej: Only in the eyes of the Law.

--Confidence Men, as greenhouse florists stuck with a mysterious shipment of marijuana in a show last July at Coldtowne.

Brian Boyko · Post by **Brian Boyko** » September 22nd, 2009, 5:47 am

Jeff wrote:Jeff: We're criminals.

Ceej: Only in the eyes of the Law.

--Confidence Men, as greenhouse florists stuck with a mysterious shipment of marijuana in a show last July at Coldtowne.

That was an awesome show.

Forget who: "Shit, the cops!" (Draws blinds, so that the cops can't see.)
Troy: "You know what looks really f**king suspicious? A greenhouse with the f**king blinds drawn!"

chelsea gilman · Post by **chelsea gilman** » September 24th, 2009, 9:59 pm

there were so many good lines in tonight's P-Graph screwball comedy, but one that stuck with me is Roy's line which was something to the effect of:

"That chimney is as sparkly as a new born tub."

dirty baby · Post by **dirty baby** » September 26th, 2009, 10:32 pm

Stool Pigeon 9/27/09
[whatever Stephanie Russo sang or spoke as Cher]

Brian Boyko · Post by **Brian Boyko** » September 27th, 2009, 12:17 am

"Wedding is my new favorite Pgraph format."

Spaztique · Post by **Spaztique** » September 27th, 2009, 9:20 pm

"I checked myself into a hospital because I was feeling the onset of a tummy ache." -James (forgot the last name), playing a little kid at the Sept. 26 Maestro.

Jeff · Post by **Jeff** » September 28th, 2009, 12:39 am

I just went through the 8 pages of this thread to figure out what some of my favorite lines are so far. I'm pretty picky, I think, because I really like the lines to stand on their own without context (although, I also like to read the context, whether I think the lines stand alone or not).

Anyway, here are the ones I like the most...

"I feel like I want to cry, but my tear ducts haven't formed yet"
- Eric H. at Improv for Evil's Wafflefest show playing an aborted fetus that lived.

"He's the same lawyer who represented Darth Vader." -- David Hess (same show) to someone needing some legal advice.

(The following goes against my own principle that I prefer stand-alone lines, but this just cracks me up. It actually makes me laugh the most out of all 8 pages of dialogue here).
Troy and Curtis, in 1959:
Troy: "I drank a lot when I was pregnant".
Curtis: "That's acceptable behavior considering all that we know".

Troy Miller as a prison guard in Confidence Men 8/21/09. He was going to work in a white collar crime facility. "I'm going to bathe in the waters of Lawrence Correctional".

"I checked myself into a hospital because I was feeling the onset of a tummy ache." -James (forgot the last name), playing a little kid at the Sept. 26 Maestro.[/i]

Post by **Jon Bolden** » October 3rd, 2009, 1:10 pm

More than anything, I just wanted to share this moment. During the most recent Merlin Works graduation show, they were playing category die to get warmed up. One of the categories was "dogs". I think it was Gary who was the first chosen. He looked completely at a loss and just blurted out "cats!" very confidently. The combination of the timing and look on his face was one of the funniest moments I've seen. Slightly a "had to be there" moment

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · October 6th, 2009, 5:56 pm

Brian Boyko wrote:"Wedding is my new favorite Pgraph format."

whoever said that is a freaking genius!

sara farr · Post by **sara farr** » October 6th, 2009, 9:07 pm

Spaztique wrote:"I checked myself into a hospital because I was feeling the onset of a tummy ache." -James (forgot the last name), playing a little kid at the Sept. 26 Maestro.

The famous James ROBERTS is of whom you speak!

Katie T. · Post by **Katie T.** » October 8th, 2009, 12:52 pm

You should follow James Roberts around with a PEN is what you should do!

erin · Post by **erin** » October 8th, 2009, 1:55 pm

Shana as a pirate Blue-Eyed Jack in Lighthouse the Musical!

"do you mind if i remove my leg? oh the itching is unbearable. i hope they one day make prostetics out of something other than wood"

apiaryist · Post by **apiaryist** » October 12th, 2009, 10:53 am

"God has the deepest innie in the universe."

-Clay Crenshaw - Nice Astronaut

Asaf · Post by **Asaf** » October 18th, 2009, 10:13 am

"I eat pizza like a Christ-like figure."
-Chris Allen, New Choice, Maestro 10/17/2009