Why YOU Suck at Improv: An Acidic Guide to improv mistakes

Spaztique · Post by **Spaztique** » February 15th, 2009, 5:30 pm

Update - November 23, 2009: I removed the guide for being outdated, extremely negative, and for putting newer improvisers in a place where they improvise out of fear as opposed to improvising naturally.

A newer, better, friendlier guide is being worked on. If you still want to see the negative guide, request it via PM.

-Spaz

NoahV · Post by **NoahV** » February 16th, 2009, 2:07 am

How many times "fag" or variations of the word was used in this piece?

RelentlessOne · Post by **RelentlessOne** » February 16th, 2009, 2:15 am

fags are gay

Post by **Jon Bolden** » February 16th, 2009, 9:00 am

David, I think you have some really useful information in there. I completely forgot what hedging & bridging meant and reading through that reminded me of some basic concepts I had forgotten in level 2.

I think it needs to be said, though, that the harsh tone and negative style might work against the article rather than for it. I realize that a lot of those choices are most likely for comedic effect and style but I believe it's getting in the way of information. Nobody should want to be in the mindset to be afraid to break the "rules" in fear of being an A-hole or equivalent.

ratliff · Post by **ratliff** » February 16th, 2009, 10:21 am

THERE ARE NO RULES

. . . that said, if you're willing to use "fag" all the time but would never say "nigger" in public, you're probably guilty of hypocrisy on some level. I know I am.

Lants · Post by **Lants** » February 16th, 2009, 11:32 am

SUPPORT!

TexasImprovMassacre · February 16th, 2009, 4:11 pm

Trying to play by the rules makes people Fags!

Spaztique · Post by **Spaztique** » February 16th, 2009, 6:49 pm

Jon Bolden wrote:David, I think you have some really useful information in there. I completely forgot what hedging & bridging meant and reading through that reminded me of some basic concepts I had forgotten in level 2.

Thanks. I'm also thinking of adding "You don't focus on the goddamn relationship enough!" and "You try to force the goddamn relationship too much!" to the list for added measure.

I think it needs to be said, though, that the harsh tone and negative style might work against the article rather than for it. I realize that a lot of those choices are most likely for comedic effect and style but I believe it's getting in the way of information.

I'm big into negative humor, but I might as well add "You're being too goddamn negative" to the list, both for the tutorial AND irony's sake.

Nobody should want to be in the mindset to be afraid to break the "rules" in fear of being an A-hole or equivalent.

Hence Reason 4, following the rules too much.

Also, much of the "fag" terminology is a gamer/Counter Strike/Crackbone thing.

mpbrockman · Post by **mpbrockman** » February 16th, 2009, 7:19 pm

Instead of "faggot" may I suggest a less controversial term we're quite fond of on another forum I participate in.

Fuckwit.

In action: Fuckwittery

There, that should soften the tone considerably.

Jastroch · Post by **Jastroch** » February 16th, 2009, 10:25 pm

thems a lot of rules.

Lindsey · Post by **Lindsey** » February 17th, 2009, 11:15 am

Wow Dave, you typed alot of words.

Belinda · Post by **Belinda** » February 18th, 2009, 2:57 pm

As both someone brand new to Austin Improv and a self proclaimed faggot (although some would disagree and call me a 'dyke') I would like to say thank you for the information as I didn't know a lot of that information.

I agree that a word like fuckwittery would have been a better choice in continuing to insult the imaginary cock-blocking that was going on in your article.

Not that my feelings were hurt, but more that I don't believe 'fag' should be used in the pejorative. For that we have the term "frat boy'

Thank you,

Belinda, your local girly fag

Spaztique · Post by **Spaztique** » February 18th, 2009, 5:26 pm

I've tried reading it with "Blockerfuckwit" and the others, and it just doesn't sound as good.

But, since this is derived from Counter Strike as anybody who is metaphorically gay for the following technique, I have the next best definition: ____whore!

Blockerwhore, Sidetrackerwhore, LtSWhore! It all works! Updating now!

Edit: UPDATED! And now with new examples of why YOU suck at improv!

HerrHerr · Post by **HerrHerr** » February 18th, 2009, 8:17 pm

I propose "daisy sniffer"

or

"rat fink."

TexasImprovMassacre · February 22nd, 2009, 5:10 am

It is my opinion that most of those rules are bullshit...and, I'm sorry dave but your advice on how to deal with a lot of them isn't too great. Particularly the ones that say to just bail on the scene, or kick the person out. I'm not sure how tongue in cheek that part of it is. I appreciate all the thought you put into this...but I still think in general people would be better off not worrying about any of what they shouldn't be doing, and instead focus on what's happening.

It is mentioned in Improvise that adhering to all the rules doesn't necessarily make a good scene, and breaking them doesn't ensure a bad scene.

besides, this example scene rules

In-Field Example of Gagging 2: You try too goddamn hard to be funny!:
Improviser: God, it's cold out here!
GagWhore: Check it out! I just urinated my name in snow!
Improviser: Mike, don't tell me you drank our last water reserves!
GagWhore: Of course I drank the water reserves! It gives me SUPER STRENGTH!
Improviser: Can you use it to get us out of here?
GagWhore: Actually, I just use it to pick up chicks.