Fake Gossip!

Wesley · Post by **Wesley** » May 23rd, 2006, 11:32 pm

Valerie let's her rat drive with an expired license.

fbillac · Post by **fbillac** » May 25th, 2006, 2:28 pm

LIES!!! That was in fact an illeagal picture that was stolen from the cutting room floor of the movie studio where Stewart Little 4 is currently being shot!

Andy Crouch will be cast as "Limpy", Stewart's 3 legged shetland pony pal.

Jay Bernardo will be playing "Prune Back" the hairless cat (no costume was needed)

Wes and Roy are cast as "Bingle and Voss", two down on their luck vaudvillian cockroaches.

and American Idol, Taylor Hicks, as himself!

-Dav

valetoile · Post by **valetoile** » May 30th, 2006, 8:17 pm

Eric Heiberg confided in me the top things he wished he liked, because girls like them so much, but actually hates:

10: 80s Music
9: Kittens
8: The Mary Tyler Moore Show
7: Orchids
6: Sushi
5: Fast Cars
4: Brownstones
3: Photobooths
2: Breakfast Cereal
1: Cunnilingus

chicocarlucci · Post by **chicocarlucci** » June 1st, 2006, 1:13 pm

valetoile wrote: 10: 80s Music
9: Kittens
8: The Mary Tyler Moore Show
7: Orchids
6: Sushi
5: Fast Cars
4: Brownstones
3: Photobooths
2: Breakfast Cereal
1: Cunnilingus

Hey!
I love breakfast cereal!
It was Women's Rights that I hate.

Evilpandabear · Post by **Evilpandabear** » June 1st, 2006, 4:48 pm

Valerie swindled away $10,000 from Amy's Ice-cream; this is how she'll fund her world tour with her rat driven mini cooper. When asked why, Valerie has been known to respond by shouting at the top of her voice, "Take that Ewan McGreggor!" Valerie then apologized profusely for misspelling Ewan's last name when speaking.

vine311 · Post by **vine311** » June 1st, 2006, 4:53 pm

Kareem is actually part Wookie...

kbadr · Post by **kbadr** » June 1st, 2006, 5:25 pm

Oh dear lord.

I think that photo was taken mere seconds before my adamntium claws were thrust into Jay's torso.

(Seriously, I think I'm actually in the process of threatening Jay in that photo)

beardedlamb · Post by **beardedlamb** » June 1st, 2006, 5:31 pm

i love the internet.

phlounderphil · Post by **phlounderphil** » June 1st, 2006, 5:52 pm

My girlfriend staring at Kareem's bare chest.

EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO SEE TODAY. Thanks!

kbadr · Post by **kbadr** » June 1st, 2006, 5:57 pm

phlounderphil wrote:My girlfriend staring at Kareem's bare chest.

EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO SEE TODAY. Thanks!

She is more than likely in shock because I was just made to grope her breast.

So everything's ok, see?

Evilpandabear · Post by **Evilpandabear** » June 1st, 2006, 6:58 pm

i'm fine and adamantium free. stay off drugs!

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · June 5th, 2006, 5:16 pm

Jeremy Lamb is the Anti-Christ. No, not the kind who brings about the end of the world. But if he ever came in physical contact with Christ, it would negate all of existence. Um...so i guess he is the kind who brings about the end of the world. My bad.

Jay Bernardo turned me into a lesbian. Then tried to kill me. Twice.

Ben Sterling does not exist. He is merely the telepathic projection of all of Shannon McCormick's darkest desires.

Jon Hunt only works at the Hideout to steal ideas from improv shows and then write them into sketches for the Sicks...none of which have ever made it into a show.

Wesley Bain carries a rifle in his boot. How this is spacially possible, no one is quite certain.

Jeff Amos shot a man in Reno. Not to watch him die, but because he asked Jeff if he liked Blink 182.

Ace Manning's masturbation patterns increased by 300% when he heard it killed kittens.

Bill Stern once kicked a man in the nuts so hard that his sperm was sent back in time where it conceived explorer Vasco de Gama.

Kate Caldwell can look into a man's soul and know exactly what color will make him cry.

Chris Allen knows where the beef is...but he refuses to tell anyone.

Roy Janik ate the "e" in Dav Wallace's name.

Kaci Beeler sustains the existence of dragons in our world through faith alone...and they answer to her commands alone!

Christina de Roos never finished high school. You can tell because her diploma is drawn in crayon on the back of a Shoney's placemat.

Jordan T. Maxwell teaches underground workshops on oral sex. Those who have attended these workshops are slowly being hunted down and exterminated in occult rituals. In an unrelated story, Kacey Samiee is looking younger and younger each day...

sara farr · Post by **sara farr** » July 27th, 2006, 7:13 am

Kaci Beeler eats cute, fluffly, innocent, little lambs!

(PS - I would say "watch out" beardedlamb, but Im not sure how innocent and little you are.)

kaci_beeler · Post by **kaci_beeler** » July 27th, 2006, 4:27 pm

Hey, they're asking for it with their smart little removable coats and their incessant joyful stamping through meadows and groves!

shando · Post by **shando** » July 27th, 2006, 4:29 pm

Kaci Beeler is secretly not secretly foul-mouthed and -minded. Wrap yr brains around that one, stunnas.

Austin Improv

Fake Gossip!

Eric Heiberg is not the sensitive ladie's man he seems!

Re: Eric Heiberg is not the sensitive ladie's man he seems!