Best show lines - 2008

Spaztique · Post by **Spaztique** » January 6th, 2008, 2:18 pm

"You're pregnant? I hope you're not getting any sand in places, yourself, unless you want to give birth to a pearl." -I think Asaf said this during the January 5th Maestro.

"You are fetching, like a dog." -Lubu, January 5th Maestro, Shakespearean Scene.

TexasImprovMassacre · January 6th, 2008, 6:35 pm

"Will Smith is the only thing that we as a nation can agree upon."
--Nick Ramirez

Roy Janik · Post by **Roy Janik** » January 7th, 2008, 12:39 am

"Last day of highschool!... Time to FUCK!"
-Erika May, The Smoking Arm, January 4th Threefer`

"Of course I have drugs, I'm the drummer for Corpse Raper."
-Cody Dearing, The Smoking Arm, January 4th Threefer

Spaztique · Post by **Spaztique** » January 7th, 2008, 8:48 am

Scram, January 3, 2008
Context: Leah is playing with a toy on the ground, Lance comes in and smashes it.
Lance: "MONSTER TRUCK CRUSH!!!... Are you gonna cry?... Here come the tears!... Here come the tears!... Just a little more!... *Leah Stars Crying* YES!!! I AM THE BEST BABYSITTER EVER!!!"

And later, after Leah wouldn't give him a soda...

"You wanna sleep with the heater on, don't you?"

pink diamond stud · Post by **pink diamond stud** » January 7th, 2008, 2:54 pm

"The internet is so slow up here . . ."

-- Bob McNichol, playing an astronaut (Frank Mills, 1/5)

Dave · Post by **Dave** » January 10th, 2008, 10:33 am

Erin: Hey, you don't use english when taking notes in class, nerd?!?!
Terrill: Nope! I type in Wing Dings!

-$10 Bourbon 1/09/08

craigy · Post by **craigy** » January 14th, 2008, 12:17 am

"I guess its time to throw the baby..."
- Ted Rutherford, offering friendly advice and support to me (Craig) as I was tossing everything out the window that reminded me of my love that had just left me.

Spaztique · Post by **Spaztique** » January 14th, 2008, 10:44 am

"I had to come in the backdoor." - Justin Davis, Mr. Rather, January 11, after entering a seedy bar (pun somewhat intended) called "The Manhole".

starkserious · Post by **starkserious** » January 19th, 2008, 6:21 pm

Erin and Terrill are doing scene where Erin is playing a insecure high school girls, Jennifer, who wants to go out with Terrill;s character, Rocky who is way cool high school dude. Jennifer starts hyperventilating, and she say's "my mom says I have to be careful because I only have one lung." Rocky says, "we'll for tonight babe, you better get an oxygen tank!"

Spaztique · Post by **Spaztique** » January 20th, 2008, 9:07 pm

Cody, Stool Pigeon, January 19: "Does a lion need a reason to hate in the jungle?"

andrea · Post by **andrea** » January 21st, 2008, 1:00 pm

Troy, Junk show 1-19-08: "We fell in love on the ride over" (concerning a hostage and captor who became romantically involved.)

acrouch · Post by **acrouch** » January 21st, 2008, 5:19 pm

I completely missed that line.

Spaztique · Post by **Spaztique** » February 2nd, 2008, 4:27 am

"It's like a turkey baster filled with awesome!" - Jason Vines, The Smoking Arm, February 1st.

Jeff · Post by **Jeff** » February 2nd, 2008, 10:39 pm

Spaztique wrote:"It's like a turkey baster filled with awesome!" - Jason Vines, The Smoking Arm, February 1st.

I thought that show was brimming with sweet nuggets, but I was too high to remember them. Erika said something about chewing up pieces of paper and making igloos. Anyway, The Smoking Arm just superface rocked, I thought. I wish I remembered some lines.

Post by **bradisntclever** » February 3rd, 2008, 1:49 am

The Brigadier wrote:
Spaztique wrote:"It's like a turkey baster filled with awesome!" - Jason Vines, The Smoking Arm, February 1st.
I thought that show was brimming with sweet nuggets, but I was too high to remember them. Erika said something about chewing up pieces of paper and making igloos. Anyway, The Smoking Arm just superface rocked, I thought. I wish I remembered some lines.

That line had something to do with "making an eskimo village" out of the pieces of paper. That line and Erika's other one: "You COULD get into art school" after Stephanie talked about drawing a parrot's head made me laugh really hard.

Austin Improv

Best show lines - 2008

it was in a rehearsal, so audience of 1

1-11-08

In $10 Bourbon Show 1/18.08