Yay! That was from our show last night!
My favorite for a LONG time was in a Coldtowne show. Chris and Tami are trapped in a house surrounded by scary noises and they're freaking out. Tami grabs a phone and starts dialing. And dialing. And dialing. It's like a thirty digit number.
Chris: Who are you dialing?
Tami: I'm just pressing numbers. Hello?
Arthur (on phone): You've reached a crazy land!
Cracks my shit up.
Best show lines - 2008
Anything about the AIC itself.
Moderators: arclight, happywaffle
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- Asaf Offline
- Posts: 2770
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Ego's 12.19.07
James Roberts: (banging on glass wall) Help! Caveman no like living in exhibit anymore. Want real life!
Ann Wilson: (banging back) Help! Businessman hate real world! Want in exhibit!
...or something like that. Someone help me fix this for accuracy.
James Roberts: (banging on glass wall) Help! Caveman no like living in exhibit anymore. Want real life!
Ann Wilson: (banging back) Help! Businessman hate real world! Want in exhibit!
...or something like that. Someone help me fix this for accuracy.
If you disrespect your character, or play it just for laughs, it will sell some gags, but it's all technique.
It's like watching a juggler-- you'll be impressed by it, but it's not going to touch you in anyway. "
-Steve Coogan
It's like watching a juggler-- you'll be impressed by it, but it's not going to touch you in anyway. "
-Steve Coogan
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- HerrHerr Offline
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- Location: Istanbul, not Constantinople
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Coldtowne Cagematch 11/29
At the top of the scene, Cody was endowed as Michael Jordon. Either he or his partner was riding a toy horsey. Anyway, after being endowed as Jordan....
CODY=Wayne Gretzky, I haven't seen you since you cured cancer. What are you doing in this super market?
Also. in the same show, Cody's burger wasn't cooked to perfection.
CODY=You nerds gotta learn how to grill.
At the top of the scene, Cody was endowed as Michael Jordon. Either he or his partner was riding a toy horsey. Anyway, after being endowed as Jordan....
CODY=Wayne Gretzky, I haven't seen you since you cured cancer. What are you doing in this super market?
Also. in the same show, Cody's burger wasn't cooked to perfection.
CODY=You nerds gotta learn how to grill.
Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence.
--David Byrne
--David Byrne
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- Brian Boyko Offline
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I got a job. I am a stamplicker for a high-tech company.
-rachel, (rubbing it in after a breakup) 12.28.07 3fer
-rachel, (rubbing it in after a breakup) 12.28.07 3fer
If you disrespect your character, or play it just for laughs, it will sell some gags, but it's all technique.
It's like watching a juggler-- you'll be impressed by it, but it's not going to touch you in anyway. "
-Steve Coogan
It's like watching a juggler-- you'll be impressed by it, but it's not going to touch you in anyway. "
-Steve Coogan
- TexasImprovMassacre Offline
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- Location: Austin, TX
- Contact:
Arthur Simone in the same year's musical show:
"I'm leaving right now unless there's a song..."
everyone stopped and looked at him. then there was no song, so arthur left.
"I'm leaving right now unless there's a song..."
everyone stopped and looked at him. then there was no song, so arthur left.
Last edited by TexasImprovMassacre on January 3rd, 2008, 11:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
Jordan Maxwell - "You townspeople will need to learn how to forgive the people you've killed."
Last edited by Miggy on January 1st, 2008, 3:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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- mpbrockman Offline
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- Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell Offline
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if i remember it correctly, it was "You have to learn how to forgive your enemies once you've killed them." But i'm notorious for misquoting myself. 
(and it's Jordan...i don't particularly care, but my mother gets annoyed. you don't want to annoy my mother, do you?)
oh, also, thank you.
my nomination from last night: "Good thing I'm a cyborg now!" -Arthur Simone.
i almost had to go backstage, i was laughing so hard.
(and it's Jordan...i don't particularly care, but my mother gets annoyed. you don't want to annoy my mother, do you?)oh, also, thank you.
my nomination from last night: "Good thing I'm a cyborg now!" -Arthur Simone.
i almost had to go backstage, i was laughing so hard.
Sweetness Prevails.
-the Reverend
-the Reverend
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- mpbrockman Offline
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Yep, I think that was it (or awfully similar). I had occasion to trot this line out in a completely non-improv-related stage situation tonight and received a few guffaws, several delayed laughs and a lot of confused looks. For me, this is a home run.the_reverend wrote:if i remember it correctly, it was "You have to learn how to forgive your enemies once you've killed them."
Y'all write some of my best stage banter. Thx.
Scott Chester: My last one night stand was so cabinet...
Audience: How cabinet was it?
Scott: It was so cabinet she appointed me Secretary of Sex!
Ego's 1/02/08
Audience: How cabinet was it?
Scott: It was so cabinet she appointed me Secretary of Sex!
Ego's 1/02/08
If you disrespect your character, or play it just for laughs, it will sell some gags, but it's all technique.
It's like watching a juggler-- you'll be impressed by it, but it's not going to touch you in anyway. "
-Steve Coogan
It's like watching a juggler-- you'll be impressed by it, but it's not going to touch you in anyway. "
-Steve Coogan
Frank Willmore: Is that why you slipped Sandy some acid?
Scott Chester: Sandy had it coming, that little dog has been shitting everywhere!
Ego's 1/02/08
Scott Chester: Sandy had it coming, that little dog has been shitting everywhere!
Ego's 1/02/08
If you disrespect your character, or play it just for laughs, it will sell some gags, but it's all technique.
It's like watching a juggler-- you'll be impressed by it, but it's not going to touch you in anyway. "
-Steve Coogan
It's like watching a juggler-- you'll be impressed by it, but it's not going to touch you in anyway. "
-Steve Coogan
