Fake Gossip!

Brian Boyko · Post by **Brian Boyko** » April 17th, 2006, 12:02 pm

DollarBill wrote:Brian Boyko is actually the WB's best writer. He writes lists of fake gossip and they use each made up factoid as a premise for a show.

Brian Boyko may have actually altered that list from a very cool book that was written by John Tynes (which is why he's got that "with apologies to John Tynes" there.)

Mike · Post by **Mike** » April 17th, 2006, 5:49 pm

Bryan Boyko is actually over 50 years old. He was reportedly in the Army as a CIA sniper performing black bag operations with John Denver and Mr. Rogers.

Valerie once killed a man for snoring too loud.

The real reason The Great Mundane is breaking up after their last performance is because NASA is putting them on a probe to be the first contact of life forms in the Alpha Centauri system.

valetoile · Post by **valetoile** » April 17th, 2006, 10:27 pm

Phil Aulie KNOWS how to ROLLERSKATE. Like whoah.

valetoile · Post by **valetoile** » April 17th, 2006, 10:27 pm

The moon isn't made of cheese- it's made of Wes's special sausage ball recipe.

ChrisTrew.Com · Post by **ChrisTrew.Com** » April 17th, 2006, 11:31 pm

I heard Orf loves watersports.

arthursimone · Post by **arthursimone** » April 17th, 2006, 11:37 pm

I heard the one-legged homeless guy who sells flowers in front of the Hideout is a former Secretary of the Interior.

phlounderphil · Post by **phlounderphil** » April 17th, 2006, 11:53 pm

Chris Trew will NOT stop hitting on new shy naive and innocent improv girl Arthurina.

eplischke · Post by **eplischke** » April 18th, 2006, 8:50 am

Bob Mcnichol is former champion of UFC (Ultimate fighting Championship) and his fighting stlye is Kuk Sol. Andy Crouch and Dav Wallace are brothers. Arthur Simone is a hypnotist and magician.

Wesley · Post by **Wesley** » April 18th, 2006, 9:43 am

Gigglepants is a front for the Russian mafia.

Tami Nelson was born with two livers. Jastroch was born with his spleen on the outside.

Jen Cargill doesn't view the cup as half full OR half empty. She simply gets a smaller glass.

Kareem has repeatedly expressed his desire to be pickled when he dies and then donated to the first alien species that makes contact with humans.

Robert Mugabe was a nice guy until the Well Hung Jury refused to let him join. The current state of ZImbabwe is all their fault.

Sean Hill does not exist.

Jay is not going to the Orient to teach English, but to fight Frank Dux for supremacy in the world's ultimate Kumite challenge.

Gene is Bolo Yeung's long lost brother.

deroosisonfire · Post by **deroosisonfire** » April 18th, 2006, 10:51 am

i turned kacey samiee into a lesbian.

vine311 · Post by **vine311** » April 18th, 2006, 10:53 am

And I took pictures of it.

Evilpandabear · Post by **Evilpandabear** » April 18th, 2006, 11:11 am

Wesley wrote:Jay is not going to the Orient to teach English, but to fight Frank Dux for supremacy in the world's ultimate Kumite challenge.

Very good, Wesley. But brick not hit back!

eplischke · Post by **eplischke** » April 18th, 2006, 12:22 pm

Did I mention that DAV Wallace is a former porn star?

Roy Janik · Post by **Roy Janik** » April 18th, 2006, 12:55 pm

Bob Mcnichol is having an affair with a hun. Parallelogramophonograph heard him talking to one on his cellphone.

Wesley · Post by **Wesley** » April 18th, 2006, 1:15 pm

The two-seater toilet was patented by Eric Heiberg.

Mike is actually a self-contained timeline, the product of a female clone of himself not yet made, time travel, and too many paradoxes to count.

Jason Vines's icon is actually his true appearance.

Get Up actually prefers music that makes them get down.

Roy was born in a castle on the Rhine river during a dark and stormy night. He has a candelabra-shaped birthmark that denotes him as being "the One."

Pat does not actually know how to play an instrument. He uses self-playing models developed by Milli Vanilli's back-up band.

Chris Allen routinely goes camping with bigfoot, drinking with Elvis, and has been reported swimming with Nessie on more than one occasion.