Firearms, Red Meat, and Testosterone

Mike · Post by **Mike** » March 5th, 2007, 11:30 pm

It appears that our fair city of Austin will have an influx of Estrogen April 27th and 28th of this year.

As males, and improvisors, we should show our support for the LAFF festival, however too much exposure to womanly humor and such may cause us to lose our own identies as men, thus giving way for the widespread use of "product", sharing our feelings, and watching Oprah whilst devouring the better part of a tub of Ben and Jerry's.

Therefore we men of Austin must unite and take part in something which allows us to retain our manliness, yet will free us up to watch this festival and keep us on good terms with the ladies.

So I propose :

TESTOSTERFEST 2007!

We shall partake in events which our forefathers have set up to ensure the survival of the species.

Senseless Violence
We meet at Red's Indoor Range and shoot guns for the better part of the morning. You can rent a variety of weapons from a .22 handgun to an M-16 and vent your frustration at paper targets. Prizes will be awarded for the best/worst marksman.

Consumption of Dead Things
After we have worked up a sizeable appetite sending lead down range, we pack into our cars, and make a convoy to the mearest BBQ place to satiate our hunger with red meat, ribs, and beer. The prizes for the shooting event will be awarded at this time, and we will then be free to converse on a number of male-oriented topics such as:
-Belching
-Sports
-Midgets
-Porn
-Action movies
and many others. We shall feast until we either exhaust the supply of meat at the place, or we are unable to move our bloated carcasses without the use of a forklift. Which brings us to our final destination:

The Viewing of Women
As we have proven our worth on the firing range and have consumed the equivalent of a herd of cattle in our celebrations of being men, we now partake in the LAFF festival to give support to those women who have come out to entertain the masses. We show them that even though we are rugged, tough, individuals who eat fire and crap lava, we can still come to their shows and support all their hard work.

So, fellow males, who's up for this?

You can sign up here or PM me and I'll try to take care of all the logistics.
Let's say the cut-off date is April 9th so I can work out the details with the firing range. And offer several places to eat BBQ.

kbadr · Post by **kbadr** » March 5th, 2007, 11:33 pm

I love you, Mike.

er...I mean....uh....let's fight!

vine311 · Post by **vine311** » March 5th, 2007, 11:36 pm

Oh Hell Yeah!

kbadr · Post by **kbadr** » March 5th, 2007, 11:37 pm

And 2 days later we will re-affirm our manliness with BLACK FUCKING SABBATH AND MEGADETH

beardedlamb · Post by **beardedlamb** » March 5th, 2007, 11:53 pm

i would so so so shoot guns, which i have never done, and eat meat, which i do every day, but i'm busy the whole day until the evening when i'm going to watch improv.

blast you people and your great event ideas involving meat.

Wesley · Post by **Wesley** » March 6th, 2007, 12:01 am

Guns!

Funny you should mention it. I was cleaning house today and found my old Expert and Sharpshooter qualification badges (US Army standards) in pistol, small bore rifle, and hand grenades!

(OK, I was only Marksman in hand grenades, but I lost the cross. I just have the hanging name tag. I only had one go at qualifying. I'm sure with some practice I could have improved. I'm generally good and throwing one thing at another thing and hitting it pretty accurately.)

kbadr · Post by **kbadr** » March 6th, 2007, 12:12 am

Which red's? P-ville, or south austin?

Mike · Post by **Mike** » March 6th, 2007, 12:15 am

kbadr wrote:Which red's? P-ville, or south austin?

Either will do, though I am more familiar with P-ville and its' supply of rentable weapons.

Asaf · Post by **Asaf** » March 6th, 2007, 12:38 am

I desperately want to check out Cabella's in Buda. It is apparently the largest gun store IN THE WORLD. It has shooting ranges and archery ranges and a restaurant where you can get an elk burger. Hell at the entrance to the restaurant they probably have a big tank where you can pick the elk you want and its got little rubberbands around its hooves.

AustinsIrishPirate · Post by **AustinsIrishPirate** » March 6th, 2007, 12:44 am

Asaf wrote:I desperately want to check out Cabella's in Buda. It is apparently the largest gun store IN THE WORLD. It has shooting ranges and archery ranges and a restaurant where you can get an elk burger. Hell at the entrance to the restaurant they probably have a big tank where you can pick the elk you want and its got little rubberbands around its hooves.

Not to break in on your manliness, but listen to Asaf on this one. I've been there and it is kick-ass. I think a taxidermist would have a heartattack stepping into the place--I almost did.

Okay, carry on.

kaci_beeler · Post by **kaci_beeler** » March 6th, 2007, 1:08 am

montysmith wrote:
Asaf wrote:I desperately want to check out Cabella's in Buda. It is apparently the largest gun store IN THE WORLD. It has shooting ranges and archery ranges and a restaurant where you can get an elk burger. Hell at the entrance to the restaurant they probably have a big tank where you can pick the elk you want and its got little rubberbands around its hooves.
Not to break in on your manliness, but listen to Asaf on this one. I've been there and it is kick-ass. I think a taxidermist would have a heartattack stepping into the place--I almost did.

Okay, carry on.

They have an old-fashioned shoot 'em up gallery with animated effects, tons of giant stuffed aminals, and FUDGE!

Miggy · Post by **Miggy** » March 6th, 2007, 1:14 am

.... So I realize that this is supposed to be an inclusive guys event but I'm not really feeling it right now.

I'm a man... but:

- I don't eat meat
- despise sports
- believe in gun control
- find little redeeming value in action movies, and
- consider belching to be an indicator of poor upbringing

Moreover, I don't really think that women should be a part of testoterfest. By that I mean that we shouldn't show up wasted to their shows, nor should they be central to conversation or, as it sounds, be viewed in porn.

To be honest, my thoughts on this were crystalized fairly well the other day when I heard a broadcast on NPR of a Nina Simone concert. She gave a long intro to the song 'young, talented and black' where she points out that some white folks might find the title off-putting but "this song does not mean to put you down or in anyway diminish you," and then in a completely deadpan voice, "It simply ignores you." She went on to elaborate how she wanted to give her community all the support and love that she could and that's what she felt they needed very much.

That's what I would like to see here, personally. Any gathering that allows guys to be the guys they are and not a two dimensional stereotype characterized by violence, crudity or the pursuit of women. Anything that allows for a celebration of dudes hangin' with other dudes and rising above the ways we're portrayed in films, TV commercials and Tim Allen jokes. These excellent guys are in the AIC - and a hell of a lot of them. I'm not saying you have to be like me - if you like sports - cool! if you don't - that's cool, too! Just for one day - we ignore women and be those excellent guys to each other.

I proposed the poker game because cards are fun and fairly democratic in allowing people to participate. While my parents taught me to count using playing cards - poker was not the game of choice in my family so I'm just as bad as the complete beginner... but I still have fun eating, drinking and being merry.

Ultimately, I'd like to participate in whatever form testosterfest beckons... but I did want to register my opinion on this stuff. It's fairly new as an idea on these boards but I've been thinking about it since Asaf pointed out a while back that there's no similar event to some of the ladies-only events that have taken place here.

Well... there it is. That's my thoughts.

-Mike

kaci_beeler · Post by **kaci_beeler** » March 6th, 2007, 1:24 am

Miggy wrote:... but I still have fun eating, drinking and being merry.

Being Merry?
You're a LOTR FANATIC TOO?!?!

So do you have the full costume or what?

York99 · Post by **York99** » March 6th, 2007, 1:39 am

Miggy wrote:.... So I realize that this is supposed to be an inclusive guys event but I'm not really feeling it right now.

I'm a man... but:

- I don't eat meat
- despise sports
- believe in gun control
- find little redeeming value in action movies, and
- consider belching to be an indicator of poor upbringing

Moreover, I don't really think that women should be a part of testoterfest. By that I mean that we shouldn't show up wasted to their shows, nor should they be central to conversation or, as it sounds, be viewed in porn.

To be honest, my thoughts on this were crystalized fairly well the other day when I heard a broadcast on NPR of a Nina Simone concert. She gave a long intro to the song 'young, talented and black' where she points out that some white folks might find the title off-putting but "this song does not mean to put you down or in anyway diminish you," and then in a completely deadpan voice, "It simply ignores you." She went on to elaborate how she wanted to give her community all the support and love that she could and that's what she felt they needed very much.

That's what I would like to see here, personally. Any gathering that allows guys to be the guys they are and not a two dimensional stereotype characterized by violence, crudity or the pursuit of women. Anything that allows for a celebration of dudes hangin' with other dudes and rising above the ways we're portrayed in films, TV commercials and Tim Allen jokes. These excellent guys are in the AIC - and a hell of a lot of them. I'm not saying you have to be like me - if you like sports - cool! if you don't - that's cool, too! Just for one day - we ignore women and be those excellent guys to each other.

I proposed the poker game because cards are fun and fairly democratic in allowing people to participate. While my parents tought me to count using playing cards - poker was not the game of choice in my family so I'm just as bad as the complete beginner... but I still have fun eating, drinking and being merry.

Ultimately, I'd like to participate in whatever form testosterfest beckons... but I did want to register my opinion on this stuff. It's fairly new as an idea on these boards but I've been thinking about it since Asaf pointed out a while back that there's no similar event to some of the ladies-only events that have taken place here.

Well... there it is. That's my thoughts.

-Mike

You blow shit up. Guy-ness sealed.

TexasImprovMassacre · Post by **TexasImprovMassacre** » March 6th, 2007, 3:21 am

now i just don't know whose blood to drink