Best Show Lines 2013

[happywaffle]

"I always get picked last, cause I'm the red-nipple titty!" --Katie Thornton, sending the opening night of Braised in Texas into complete delightful insanity

[ChrisVil]

Whose Live Anyway?

Chip Esten is doing a two person "New Choice" scene with Jeff Davis. At one point, Chip does a chicken walk. Greg Proops: That's poultry in motion.

[Brad Hawkins]

From "Pick Your Own Black Vault," May 23:

(Justin has obtained a magical, probably cursed, axe)
Brad and Marc, from the wings, in creepy voice: "BEEEEEEWWWWAAAAARRRRRRE...."
Justin: Nope.

[poltergasm]

Maestro, 5/25

Jon Bolden and Cassidy are doing a scene of two Christians getting ready to give each other their virginity. They're nervous. So Jon suggests Cassidy recite her favorite Bible verse. Then he interrupts her, as he disrobes:

"Let's just jump to the Book of Job. Why don't you give me a blow Job?"

Lights. Perfect.

[happywaffle]

"So I took one of those 'What Knight Are You' online tests... I'm 56% Lancelot, 22% Robb Stark, and 5% M. Night Shyamalan."
--Luke Wallens, Key Party, May 25

[PaGeN]

Luke Wallens in The Next Chapter on May 24th.

Luke has left the remaining humans to venture out into the Mall infested with Zombies. In the blackout as Zombies surround him, you hear Luke's voice,

"Ok, Zombies. 5, 6, 7, 8. Cause this is thriller."

Video is at http://vimeo.com/normandin/manuelgonzales

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

in the 44 Hour Marathon GGG show, Shana's character got named Miranda Mason-Dixon.

(after being accosted by a New Yorker)
Shana: That Yankee just crossed a line!
Jessica: The Mason-Dixon line!

(after catching up to and defeating the New Yorker)
Joplin: Miranda, read her her rights!

and, of course, after all these years it finally happened, with Aaron and Lisa playing Shana and Jessica's parents breaking up a fight...

Aaron and Lisa: Girls, girls...girls!

:p

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

from the 44 Hour Marathon Pick Your Own Path show:

(Aaron took Joplin's shoes and belt when he died, then rescued his soul)

Joplin: You took my shoes and belt!
Aaron: Yes, and now I give you back your shoes so that you may walk in the physical realm...also, here's a belt!

[Brad Hawkins]

"Thou dost wish to be whisked away on a fanciful flight of merriment and bullshit."
- Michael Joplin, Fakespeare in the 44-Hour Improv Marathon

[Roy Janik]

Senator Duncan: "We will suspend the roll call vote until we can get order in the chamber."
Chamber: "RARRRRRRRRRR!!!"

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

Senator Duncan: "We will suspend the roll call vote until we can get order in the chamber."
Chamber: "RARRRRRRRRRR!!!"

yeah, we yes anded the fuck out of that offer. :p

[Munga]

"Allegory....wasn't he under Clinton?" (something like that)
- Nat Miller
Miller & Purselley, Coldtowne, June 26, 2013

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

"Allegory....wasn't he under Clinton?" (something like that)
- Nat Miller
Miller & Purselley, Coldtowne, June 26, 2013

holy crap...how has no one made that joke before? brilliant!

[Ryan Austin]

"You're crazy ripped, Sheriff."
Joplin to shirtless Saenz

"Hey there, pardner. How about a handjob?"
Joplin as a sexbot...to me.

Marathon shows.

[Katie T.]

A drunk and bored Abraham Lincoln (Josh Gill)

"Hey. Let's telegraph people. But pretend it's not us."