Mini-Rut

[happywaffle]

I enjoy this improv-related Tumblr and this entry in particular might be good for you to read.

A separate thing I remember is all the people who quit before me. I’ve run into people I took classes with and they say “yeah, sometimes I wish I stuck with it. I saw you in that show and remember how we were in class…” and I think “Thank God I didn’t quit.”

I remember that, and then I don’t quit. I shake that shit off. The universe will kick me out of this game when it’s time for me to go.

http://improvnonsense.tumblr.com/post/4 ... 6/mini-rut

[happywaffle]

Coincidentally, I also just saw this:

http://www.jimmycarrane.com/index.php/blog

The messages in my head go from productive to suicidal: "I was tentative. I was scared. I was too plot-heavy. I had no emotional response. I was too verbal. I could have committed more. I sucked. I hate myself. I want to die. I want to kill myself."

This one hit even closer to home. How do YOU get over a bad show?

[booksherpa]

How do YOU get over a bad show?

My classmates and I had what I would call a mediocre show last night. We didn't bomb, but it was low energy, and definitely not our best work. My teacher (later, at post-show drinks) gave me audition feedback (troupe auditions were this week as well) and let me know that he thought I was really in my head at the auditions. So, yeah. Accurate critiques, to be sure, though.

In talking with a friend and classmate today about our show, the auditions, improv in general, and me starting La Ronde rehearsals in 2 weeks, I said: "I'm excited to be nervous about improv again, strangely. I want it to not be easy, if that makes sense." and "I need to get pushed, hard, beyond the point where I have a chance to think."

I'm really not that experienced, so I feel funny saying this, but I'd gotten into a mini-rut of my own. I haven't really pushed myself. I guess I get over a bad show by rediscovering what I love about improv. Being scared, but fun-scared. Being excited about the possibilities. Having no clue what's coming and being excited about that. That being spontaneous trumps being "right", whatever the hell "right" means. That this is fun, and should make me breathless and giddy, and finish a night with more energy than I started with.

I emailed my teacher with the two quotes before I chickened out. I guess improvisors really are masochists. I'm looking forward to being pushed into a metaphorical corner.

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

Coincidentally, I also just saw this:

http://www.jimmycarrane.com/index.php/blog

The messages in my head go from productive to suicidal: "I was tentative. I was scared. I was too plot-heavy. I had no emotional response. I was too verbal. I could have committed more. I sucked. I hate myself. I want to die. I want to kill myself."

This one hit even closer to home. How do YOU get over a bad show?

beer, notes, and moving on to the next show (not always in that order. )

[PaGeN]

Kevin,

I think the Universe is at work in the background sometimes. I have been pretty tough on myself the last few months and I read Jimmy's post. It hit hard. And within hours I had read a Local Imp's response. Younger than my youngest child, brilliant and direct, comes this wisdom: (quoted without permission and intentionally unattributed)

I've never met you, nor have I ever seen you perform. I'm a big fan of your podcast and blog, though!

I am a devoted student of improv (still fairly new at this, only 2 years) and I want you know that seeing the teachers I admire FAIL on stage is actually really great for my growth. It makes me appreciate the improv process even more because it is a reminder of the unpredictable and human nature of this improv beast. It reminds me that improv success is independent of a "good" show, and that I can still be a "good" improviser someday without having to be perfect. The world isn't going to take away my permission to improvise for an audience.

Please don't beat yourself up for the bad shows, because then you are teaching your students that if they aren't perfect they deserve to be torn to pieces, too. The best way to love your students is to love yourself.

From someone so young, so much genius. Oh the places they will go.

From that message, readings on the subject and my associated self flagellation, I took this away: Step one give yourself time. Step two, talk to others. Step three get up and do it all again. Because it is not how many times we get knocked down (Almost always by our own heads in Improv) but by the number of times we get back up. (Muhammad Ali) So N+1. (or K+1 for knocked down?)

Perhaps it is time to start a regular monthly group meeting for "Why I Suck at Improv and Other Things I Think Are True About Me That Everyone Else Just Laughs At!" Just head to D&D and go around the table with whoever is there and let them feel all that for 30 seconds. No judgement - No criticism - just being. Then after 30 seconds they have to move on. Once everyone has gone, you have to tell each person at the table what you like about them. (F*&K, is this a format? G*& Da^# It!!! [{Did I just Channel ROY?!} OMG!!!])

Looking back at what I just wrote it seems arrogant and narcissistic - as if I know something about any of this, but I posted any way. Because my bigger fear is dealing with these dark places alone. And there is the beauty of this community and the joy that it brings to me and I would speculate Many of us.

Did I mention, that this conversation and so many others are going on because of this forum. Perhaps we should find the folks that keep this Forum up and buy them a beer. When is AIC Forum Appreciation Day?!

Hugs & many thanks,

Paul

PS - Kevin, I owe you a beer.

[happywaffle]

Very awesome. I continually reassure my students that *I* suck at the games we play just as much as *they* do. Just last night, Shana and I demonstrated a word-at-a-time story that was kinda clunky. I immediately quipped, "See, we do it badly so that you'll think you can do it better."

So I guess I should have the same attitude towards shows. I've probably told half the AIC the story about how I signed up for Level 1 classes after seeing Andy Crouch's graduation show and realizing, to my great relief, that it wasn't THAT good. So I should think from the student's perspective: "Kevin's NOT a comic genius! He's doing something I can do too!"

[jillybee72]

Hee hee hee, I played Big Booty with my students tonight and spent all my time getting bumped to the end. I think they were cheered by it.

[JLOgan]

I didn't quit, I just moved to a city where there isn't anywhere to study and no improv scene. And it kills me a little bit more every day.

[B. Tribe]

How do YOU get over a bad show?

Short version: I don't give a fuck.

Medium version: It was 20 minutes of my life and maybe 50 people saw it. They lived, I lived, we were all uncomfortable together. The end.

Long version: I DON'T GIVE A FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK ABOUT A BAD SHOW

[Roy Janik]

How do YOU get over a bad show?

I do another show.