Best Show Lines 2012

[happywaffle]

"You're getting sued twice in one day."
"Isn't that like double jeopardy?"
"Pretty much. Hope you know Alex."

--Brandon and Travis in Kosher Bacon practice just now

[Caeriel]

"So… there's the ocean. And deep under the ocean, there's this rock. And if you lift up the rock, there's a treasure chest. …And on the other side of the world, there's this guy reading a book. …What book is he reading?"

--Ruby, getting a suggestion as Mitchell Deane in last night's Free Fringe

I loved that, but Ruby's next Mitchell style suggestion tickled me even more:

"Uh... ok... um... uh there is a light, in, uh, a room, and uh, you go to turn on the light and it doesn't turn on....so you go downstairs and you check...and...none of the lights will work...so you go outside and you notice that none of the other lights are on... so you have to find, uh, a car...and you drive to, uh, the next town, uh, and there's no lights on there either! Uh...and you look down and, uh, you see... what?"

[happywaffle]

(And the answer was "toothbrush.")

[sara farr]

"You've got to think outside the box. To find another box."

Shana Merlin's "Frank Franky Franklin" time-cop character in Get Up's last show.

[Brad Hawkins]

Sarah Swofford, as a stripper who has just learned the strip club she is in is on fire:

"I hope somebody makes it rain."

- Birthday Clusterfunk, 8/9/12

[Ryan Hill]

Sarah Swofford, as a stripper who has just learned the strip club she is in is on fire:

"I hope somebody makes it rain."

- Birthday Clusterfunk, 8/9/12

Sara is amazing to play with.

[PaGeN]

In the last Firth and Arjet show.

Arjet "All boys are Christians until they are in the back seat."

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

"The moral of the story is...always create a dragon before you need one!"
-Kayla Lane Freeman
Pocketful of Posies, 8/17/2012

[HerrHerr]

In the Free Fringe on 8/16/12

Near the end of Neal's format regrading stories about objects:

"I don't care if I pass or not as long as we get to burn a giant wooden pig for Jesus."

-Halyn, a student happy to be able to celebrate the reason for the season.

[happywaffle]

Kosher Bacon rehearsal tonight:

Cat: "I'm making a stegosaurus." (Cat flubs the line a bit)
Mitchell: "Did you say stegosaurus, or stego-sodas?"
Cat: "Stegosaurus."
Mitchell: "That's too bad. I love dinosaur-themed soft drinks."

[happywaffle]

(FYI, I asked Jon to move this from General Discussion to AIC Discussion.)

[joplin]

I can never remember anything from shows. But this one will stay with me until the end of time.

It was a hideout graduation show downstairs. Not sure what level. Way back in the day. Maybe whatever the lowest level was at the time. There was a scene that Andy was closely giving direction to the whole time. Both the improvisers were struggling a bit. The scene was coming to a head and Andy told one of them to pull out her gun and shoot him. She pulled out her pointy finger gun and pointed it at the other guy in the scene, but made no sfx. The guy is waiting for her to fire with his hands up not knowing what to do.

Andy: Shoot him.
(long patient pause, Andy is really giving her time to do her thing)
Andy: Shoot him!
(pause, she shakes her gun up and down a bit, still no sound)
Andy: SHOOT HIM!
Ace: (from the light booth, in a put me out of my misery type voice) BAAAAANG!

I laughed to tears. Might be the funniest thing I've ever seen on stage. Albeit for the wrong reasons, but that counts too in my book.

[Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell]

Kacey (sung): "My fingers smell...I was born that way."

(repeated several times as these words broke both Jeff and Kacey over and over...)

Indigo Shift, 8/28/2012

[valetoile]

In Manhattan Stories, after Kaci put a chair on the bed and sat in it:

Troy: You can't do that! That's memory foam! It's going to remember that!"

[Masten]

The 2012 OOB process show.

Halyn to Kaci (who is playing an 11 year old girl playing Satan)

"I want your fiery cock inside me."