Best Show Lines 2012

Post by **happywaffle** » March 25th, 2012, 10:47 am

"He's got presence. A lot of presence. Like Christmas."

--Marc Majcher, Process, 3/24

Post by **happywaffle** » March 25th, 2012, 10:47 am

"Do you want a Diet Coke?"
"No, that's like, worse than water!"

--Brandon Martin struggles with an eating disorder, After School Improv, 3/24

Asaf · Post by **Asaf** » March 25th, 2012, 1:05 pm

"You know, when you cry, I lose respect for you as a pilot and respect is like half of what being a pilot is."
-Marcus Hysmith, Dumbasses, The Institution Theater Clusterfunk 3/25/12

Post by **Jon Bolden** » April 2nd, 2012, 1:50 am

3/31/12 – Maestro.

Heiburg and Brad Hawkins are shaking hands are not allowed to move their hands apart. Everyone keeps coming in to support with scenarios that would require them to use their hands. It ranges from curing diseases to touching breasts.

James Roberts enters
"Oh man, I have one too many saltines in this bucket"

So random and ridiculous

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · April 2nd, 2012, 9:09 am

from The Professor 3/30/2012

"It's got TUBES! I LOVE tubes!"
-Peter Rogers

Peter: "...and i loved your invention of absolutely nothing at all because you're like 12 right now."
Colin: "I'm 16!"

Post by **happywaffle** » April 7th, 2012, 11:43 am

Two classics from the April 6 Fancy Pants:

"How old is he? He looks young. He looks fit and healthy and American. He looks like Jack Kerouac bathed in whisky." --Nick Jimenez

"I had dreams, Mittens, I had dreams. Now all I got is a porch leanin', some zhuje, and a Snapple." --Kayla Lane Freeman, playing a kitten

Roy Janik · Post by **Roy Janik** » April 7th, 2012, 12:38 pm

From the PGraph/Midnight Society mashup last night (4/6/2012):

"Hey God, do you drive a white cadillac? Cuz it's on fire." -Kareem

Post by **happywaffle** » April 14th, 2012, 10:03 am

My two favorites from the new There's Waldo show.

Also, more people need to be adding to this thread.

"We don't endorse actually eating anyone alive, but shit happens."

"'No more ass-to-mouth'? That's what Mary Steenburgen said, but we turned her around."

Ryan Austin · Post by **Ryan Austin** » April 14th, 2012, 1:51 pm

From the PGraph/Midnight Society mashup last night (4/6/2012):

"Wait, so Satan bought you three Mexican hot chocolates and you didn't go home with him? Father, I think you're kinda leading Satan on..."
-Midnight Society

wiggies · Post by **wiggies** » April 14th, 2012, 5:18 pm

At the Derby, 4/13/12:

Aden (directing): "What's a relationship three people might have?"

David Rosenbaum (in the audience): "Stooges?"

Brad Hawkins · Post by **Brad Hawkins** » April 15th, 2012, 1:40 pm

"Well, there's a prophecy..."
- Tim Orr of Improv Playhouse, Improvised Play Festival, 4/14, in one of the best examples of narrative heightening I've ever seen.

Roy Janik · Post by **Roy Janik** » April 15th, 2012, 1:46 pm

Brad Hawkins wrote:"Well, there's a prophecy..."
- Tim Orr of Improv Playhouse, Improvised Play Festival, 4/14, in one of the best examples of narrative heightening I've ever seen.

Said with an air of resignation that was delightful from an improviser perspective

Ruby W. · Post by **Ruby W.** » April 15th, 2012, 6:42 pm

Kareem : I'm a general!

Jordan (a jester) : Well you think too generally.

-4/14 Process - Shakespeare.

Ryan Austin · Post by **Ryan Austin** » April 15th, 2012, 7:09 pm

"By stroke of midnight, perchance I be stroked...?"

-Jon Boldon

IPF Process 4/14 - Shakespeare

apiaryist · Post by **apiaryist** » April 15th, 2012, 11:50 pm

"Larry!"

-The Larry's
Coldtowne Lock-In II