Best Show Lines 2011

kaci_beeler · Post by **kaci_beeler** » July 25th, 2011, 12:52 am

"Fair enough, the children shall have their corpse parade." - Aaron Burr (Neil Reynolds) to Alexander Hamilton (Matt Tucker) in Code Duello at the Improvised Play Festival.

Post by **happywaffle** » July 25th, 2011, 6:28 pm

"What if some of these corpses had children?!"

"Well, we'd just attach them at the ends of the boat."

Justin D. · Post by **Justin D.** » July 26th, 2011, 11:15 am

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell wrote:from the 7/9/2011 Maestro. Ruby as the host of a panel show about sexually transmitted infections.

Ruby: Hey everybody and welcome to "You got WHAT?"

::audience cracks up. performers on sidelines crack up. performers onstage crack up. Ruby cracks up. Peter pulls the lights and starts the scene over.::

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell wrote:from the same Maestro...

Kacey: If you're not good, I'll have to give you my other kidney.

Both of those scenes were fantastic and couldn't possibly have been more different from each other. I love it when I can see or be part of (I was the co-director for this Maestro) a show where scenes so wildly different and good can happen.

Post by **Jon Bolden** » July 31st, 2011, 10:50 pm

"This war on murder....it's useless"
- Valerie Ward, Maestro 7/30/11

Talking about the government's efforts to stop all murders

HerrHerr · Post by **HerrHerr** » August 5th, 2011, 11:05 pm

"We're not in heaven. We can't all be mimes."
~David Strandberg (visiting from Minnesota)

In a scene between Lisa Jackson (!) and David, it was mentioned that they were cliched French People--who happened to work
in the sewers--and they each had dreams to do other things, but realistically knew those dreams might not come true.

Ruby W. · Post by **Ruby W.** » August 7th, 2011, 2:45 am

Maestro 08-7-2011

A scene between Jordan and Quinn with Brad Hawkins occasionally interjecting with a phrase beginning with "Isn't it Just like Life....". During the scene, Jordan's character is endowed as being diabetic and needs an insulin shot. Quinn, who is baking carrot cake, takes the insulin shot and instead of giving it to Jordan, breaks it and pours it into the batter. Brad interjects with "Isn't it just like life when your friend adds insulin to injury?

Same Maestro, Ellen Pittsford states during a scene "why do we always resort to violence when we fight!?"

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · August 7th, 2011, 3:32 am

damn, Redbird's too fast, beat me to it.

this was another gem from tonight's Maestro.

Brad (as Captain America): FDR was my favorite kind of Democrat...CRIPPLED!

Justin D. · Post by **Justin D.** » August 7th, 2011, 5:14 pm

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell wrote:damn, Redbird's too fast, beat me to it. this was another gem from tonight's Maestro.

Brad (as Captain America): FDR was my favorite kind of Democrat...CRIPPLED!

Brad's whole Captain America stand-up routine killed.

Post by **Jon Bolden** » August 8th, 2011, 10:03 am

Luke Wallens at the Hideout Level Two graduation show. Doing the alphabet game, Luke lands on "V" as one of this first lines and decides his character is a foreign exchange student.

"Vhat do we do now?"

A few lines later, he comes to "X", which is rarely justified in this game. One of this roommates makes a jab at him and he responds.

"Xenophobia is a not okay"

I'm still laughing, it was magical.

Roy Janik · Post by **Roy Janik** » August 9th, 2011, 7:24 pm

Kevin: "If you stay out of the country for 330 years, you don't have to pay taxes on the first 90,000 dollars."
Mitchell Deane: "WHO ARE YOU, WIZARD??

in Edinburgh, talking to Kevin, a contractor for the military in Afghanistan, who accidentally said years when he meant days.

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · August 9th, 2011, 11:05 pm

Roy Janik wrote:Kevin: "If you stay out of the country for 330 years, you don't have to pay taxes on the first 90,000 dollars."
Mitchell Deane: "WHO ARE YOU, WIZARD??

in Edinburgh, talking to Kevin, a contractor for the military in Afghanistan, who accidentally said years when he meant days.

HA! i can absolutely hear Mitchell saying that too.

hypersuit · Post by **hypersuit** » August 23rd, 2011, 8:55 am

Two Minute Brother, August 22 Monday Night Mash

"Oh man, I wish my camera had a phone!"
-Cody Dearing, seeing something really "fucked up" that he was never going to be able to convince anyone that he really saw

Brad Hawkins · Post by **Brad Hawkins** » August 23rd, 2011, 10:43 am

"Who looks into the mirror and sees a face like this, and says 'All right, let's do a day?'"
- Sarah Marie Curry, Institution Improv 301 class, 8/20/11

Spaztique · Post by **Spaztique** » August 23rd, 2011, 10:50 pm

From the August 23rd Teen Angst Tuesday of Party Of Five, where Cody sends the show completely off the rails...

Will *with no change in tone*: And as for the cupcakes, they- I had sex with Claudia.
Bailey: BUT ISN'T SHE SIX?!
Will: That's close to eight, right?
Bailey: BUT SHE'S MY SISTER!
Will: This isn't Seventh Heaven; we don't have morals.

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell · September 2nd, 2011, 8:52 am

from j/k's OOB show

Jeff: Let me dumb this down for you...

Kacey: Don't say "dumb this down." It's insulting.

Jeff: Let me wife this down for you...