how do you know if you've screwed someone over?
how do you find out what is it that you did if you don't know?
is it worth going to the trouble for someone you see about once every 3 years, except that now that you live in the same city and obviously frequent the same spots?
why does it hurt so much to not know what you did?
rachel, help me.
real question from an angry and confused place
Improvisors behaving badly.
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- beardedlamb Offline
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- HerrHerr Offline
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i agree with CJ.
you should address this person privately and figure it out.
if they choose to be an ass or not respond, you have taken the high road by opening the discussion.
and thats what counts.
plink plink.
e
you should address this person privately and figure it out.
if they choose to be an ass or not respond, you have taken the high road by opening the discussion.
and thats what counts.
plink plink.
e
"I suspect what we're doing is performance art, but I'm not going to tell the public that."
-- Del Close
-- Del Close
Re: real question from an angry and confused place
Hi Jeremy,
I also agree with the advice from CJ and Erika - good advice.
just to add a little somthin' ...
good for you for wanting to know.
we all hurt people, even when we're sure we didn't mean to.
it's hard to see what we did - because it's hard to look at ourselves past the way we want to see ourselves, past what we thought our intentions were. We don't want to see ourselves as being shitty - especially when we didn't mean to be or didn't know it!
and then when someone acts differently toward us and we don't know why - we feel out of control.
and all that together can certainly = 'ooooh this hurts.'
sometimes we really didn't do anything hurtful - and the other person took something personal by seeing the situation /you (and their world) from a perspective that makes things look a certain way
we all do that - see the world and stuff a certain way.
yes talk to them - be sincere and open, listen to what they say (take it in - like an improv note) and do just what you would do with a note: take it in, sit with it, see if it makes sense, if it applies, if it could help you, and then decide to use it or let it go.
if you're lucky, the other person will be honest and you may find out a jem and that will help you grow as a person.
if nothing else, you will have worked your courage muscle and shown that you care.
you win even if you lose.
I also agree with the advice from CJ and Erika - good advice.
just to add a little somthin' ...
good for you for feeling.beardedlamb wrote:why does it hurt so much to not know what you did?
good for you for wanting to know.
we all hurt people, even when we're sure we didn't mean to.
it's hard to see what we did - because it's hard to look at ourselves past the way we want to see ourselves, past what we thought our intentions were. We don't want to see ourselves as being shitty - especially when we didn't mean to be or didn't know it!
and then when someone acts differently toward us and we don't know why - we feel out of control.
and all that together can certainly = 'ooooh this hurts.'
sometimes we really didn't do anything hurtful - and the other person took something personal by seeing the situation /you (and their world) from a perspective that makes things look a certain way
we all do that - see the world and stuff a certain way.
yes talk to them - be sincere and open, listen to what they say (take it in - like an improv note) and do just what you would do with a note: take it in, sit with it, see if it makes sense, if it applies, if it could help you, and then decide to use it or let it go.
if you're lucky, the other person will be honest and you may find out a jem and that will help you grow as a person.
if nothing else, you will have worked your courage muscle and shown that you care.
you win even if you lose.
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- beardedlamb Offline
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