My neurotic side has a thought about this. The higher you reach, the further you have to fall.ratliff wrote:It's amazing to me how many people get bored or irritated with every part of a rehearsal that's not playing scenes.
A rehearsal is an investment. Furthermore it's an investment towards a desire that could damage the ego. The desire to put yourself on display and be vulnerable? To meet expectations? This vulnerability is at odds with a person's sense of control.
So there's a perceived risk in rehearsal. In commitment.
I'd wager it's not uncommon that improvisers develop a fear of success because the more they put into the investment (rehearsal) -- the more they also put into the risk of failure.
Know anyone who says something like this?
"I'm only doing this for shits and giggles. I'm not all that serious about this thing but it's fun so I keep doing it." (because being serious means that I am vulnerable to expectations. other's or my own)
This is a safeguard.
When it comes to rehearsals the risk is clearly an illusion. Rehearsal is always MORE reward than risk. Because shows are the REAL risk. Rehearsals are a controlled environment. How could rehearsal be a bad thing? Is a rehearsal like gambling where you strike it rich on a hot streak and then cash in your chips? "No need to keep doing it because I struck gold that one time." That's the reasoning we follow when we rehearse only sporadically. We safeguard ourselves from failure with a simple illusion.
You had a good show once. OK. Do what you did (rehearse) to have another good show.
We all *know* that each rehearsal offers a new experience based on previous experiences. We grow little by little based on these experiences. Every time. Every time. Rehearsals encourage actual strength. But often enough-- a human's perception of fear won't allow them to latch onto this objective reasoning. And worse yet, the person's ego pushes to stay in the spotlight. "I'm good because... me."
The ego resents rehearsal because it reflects back our own fear that we aren't good by default. To stay sharp you gotta stay sharpening. This goes against our desire for universal acceptance and approval.
So you end up with a troupe of different commitment levels and often-- fear levels of success. You have to push through it with an "everyone all onboard" attitude. We ARE going to invest into this passion of ours. We will make ourselves vulnerable to failure. There's no safeguarding failure with a "too cool for school" attitude. Fuck that. That's weakness trying to disguise itself. That's insecurity.
You gotta have a troupe cheerleader and hopefully all have each other's backs (genuinely) to spot when someone develops a perceived risk that isn't living in an objective reality. To lift each other up. Above our insecurities as humans.
I say commit to the things you love. People who are "too cool for school" are the ones wearing billboards for their own insecurities. Push them past it.