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Dear DDW,
I'm having a bit of trouble with the ladies these days. You see, everybody thinks I'm fucking dead so every time I try to put the moves on some curvy broad she freaks and runs away screaming about "Zombie Vigoda" or some bullshit. You got any advice on how to get these bitches to chill ...

Dear DDW

I haven't had any luck lately in the flirt department and I am starting to crawl the walls. I need a good pickup line, something that will sweep a girl off her feet and into my bed. There is this lady in one of my classes and I can't keep my mind off her… I don't even know her last name ...