Best Show Lines 2011

Everything else, basically.

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Postby Roy Janik » May 23rd, 2011, 3:13 pm

Jason wrote:Little hair of the dog that killed your wife?


Jason, trying to get Chuy, his father, to eat a Snickers bar after it's been revealed that Snickers killed his mother. (The Nightmare Video Project, 5/20/2011)
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Postby Justin D. » May 26th, 2011, 2:46 am

Roy Janik wrote:
Jason wrote:Little hair of the dog that killed your wife?


Jason, trying to get Chuy, his father, to eat a Snickers bar after it's been revealed that Snickers killed his mother. (The Nightmare Video Project, 5/20/2011)


That line was so damn good. I immediately repeated it about four times.
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Postby ejbrammer » May 28th, 2011, 11:15 am

At the Derby last night, during "Good Advice, Bad Advice, Worst Advice", Lubu was in the 'worst advice' spot. Heiberg asked, "And you, sir, could you introduce yourself?

Lubu: "I'm famed Danish independent film director Lars von Trier".
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Postby Jon Bolden » May 28th, 2011, 3:21 pm

From the Kids' Improv showcase last Sunday during The Weekender at The Hideout.

A character was about to be killed by everyone else onstage and says
"Wait... I just remembered this super power I have that I forgot to tell you about... (a pause as everyone freezes)... I can read minds"

The funniest part, to me, is that it didn't really even help him get out of the situation. It was just totally random. He could've easily invented something that would kill everyone in the room.
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Postby Jon Bolden » May 30th, 2011, 7:31 am

From the costume Maestro

"I'm Batman and I know the fucking alphabet" - Deano as Batman
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Postby Jeff » May 30th, 2011, 10:20 am

ejbrammer wrote:At the Derby last night, during "Good Advice, Bad Advice, Worst Advice", Lubu was in the 'worst advice' spot. Heiberg asked, "And you, sir, could you introduce yourself?

Lubu: "I'm famed Danish independent film director Lars von Trier".

One of the funniest things I ever heard of. I wish I'd seen that.
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Postby shando » May 30th, 2011, 10:27 am

Jeff wrote:
ejbrammer wrote:At the Derby last night, during "Good Advice, Bad Advice, Worst Advice", Lubu was in the 'worst advice' spot. Heiberg asked, "And you, sir, could you introduce yourself?

Lubu: "I'm famed Danish independent film director Lars von Trier".

One of the funniest things I ever heard of. I wish I'd seen that.


His whole von Trier bit was really good. One of the best Good, Bad, Worst I've seen. It was also on a pro-abstinence show, which made it really awesome.
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madeline wrote:i average 40, and like, a billion grains?


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Postby dirty baby » May 31st, 2011, 2:06 am

Best Friends Club of Austin (5/30/11): At the Mash tonight, Brett Tribe was playing an American Idol contestant from Georgia who'd been hiding his southern accent from the judges. In an outburst of anxiety about the contest, the accent fell out and his manager Joshua Phillips, who was also worried, barked "Get that banjo out of your mouth!!"[/b]
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Postby kaci_beeler » June 6th, 2011, 2:05 am

From the 42 Hour Improv Marathon

This one is going to go down in AIC History...

Sunday 3am Live Nude Improv preview show:
(as transcribed by David Z, who had blindfolded himself for the show and was in the tech booth)

Performer 1: Hey coach.
Coach: I'm going to inject you with steroids. *sound of a belt coming off*
Performer 2: Hey coach. I'm going to inject you with heroine! *sound of a belt coming off*
Peter: Hey coach. I'm just going to get naked right here.

And then he did. And he was nude for the rest of the show. It was...like nothing I've ever seen before, how calm and collected and thoughtful Peter stayed as a performer, even though he was completely vulnerable, physically, surrounded by a bunch of half-dressed fully-crazed people.
Peter Rogers is a bold and brave man.
:)
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Postby kaci_beeler » June 6th, 2011, 2:17 am

From the final hours, the funniest and most appropriate denial I've seen onstage in a long time:

Jordan is a wounded Jedi talking to Andy about some American-Jedi community he should join.

Andy: What shall I call you?
Jordan: I guess you can call me...Jaltan Lukshamil
Andy: ...I'm...not going to do that
Jordan: Then call me James.
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Postby B. Tribe » June 6th, 2011, 9:33 am

kaci_beeler wrote:Performer 1: Hey coach.
Coach: I'm going to inject you with steroids. *sound of a belt coming off*
Performer 2: Hey coach. I'm going to inject you with heroine! *sound of a belt coming off*
Peter: Hey coach. I'm just going to get naked right here.


I was Performer 2. I didn't look at Peter when he dropped his boxers, just kept shooting up Troy. I KNEW Peter wasn't kidding around (does that count as group mind?). People went absolutely bonkers. I don't think I've heard such a huge reaction in my life. That whole show was one monster reaction after another. It was the second most insane show I've ever been a part of.
“It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.” -Sam Levenson
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Postby Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell » June 6th, 2011, 10:14 am

the name "Peter Rogers" is about to fill this thread. he had some of the all time best quotes EVER through the course of the marathon. i'll just post one for now...

"Never bring a pricing gun to a real gun fight!" -Peter Rogers
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Postby Brad Hawkins » June 6th, 2011, 10:30 am

My favorite line in Marathon Batman show was a little meta. Kaci kind of blended the manic energy she used as Robin and the normal, baseline anxiety of being the show's director, and when the Dynamic Duo made their costumed appearance and the lights weren't up yet...

Kaci: Wow, it's dark here in the Batcave! The Batcave usually isn't this dark! (she starts to twitch, Robin-style) It's supposed to be bright in the cave! (lights go up slowly) Brighter than that! The cave isn't dark!
Deano: It's all right, Robin. To conserve energy, I put the Batcave lights on motion detectors. (lights are all the way up now) See? All you had to do was freak out.

I'd say my second-favorite moment from that show was Shana, as the Porcelain Heart (who had a ceramic theme to her crimes), naming her henchmen. In two prior scenes, she'd given the porcelain-faced, silent henchmen the individual names "Mr. Chin," "Mr. Shin," and "Mr. Chang," and finally she brought home her joke when she referred to them collectively as "my Chinamen." There was a brief pause, and the audience blew up with laughter.
The silver knives are flashing in the tired old cafe. A ghost climbs on the table in a bridal negligee. She says "My body is the life; my body is the way." I raise my arm against it all and I catch the bride's bouquet.
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Postby Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell » June 6th, 2011, 10:43 am

in regards to Batman, Deano's patented Inapprorpiate Line of the Night was:

"You never hit a woman, Robin...at least not in public."

;)
Sweetness Prevails.

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Postby hujhax » June 6th, 2011, 11:17 am

"..."
    -- Troy Miller, throughout the McNichol and May 2011 Marathon show

:mrgreen:

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peter rogers @ work | http://hujhax.livejournal.com

I don't mind hating a TV show, but I can't stand to be bored by one.
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