Best Show Lines 2011

Everything else, basically.

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Postby Brad Hawkins » April 17th, 2011, 12:24 am

"I like a woman who's not afraid to not think."
-David Lampe, The Violet Underbelly, 4/16/11
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Postby Kayla Lane » April 17th, 2011, 10:30 am

Brad Hawkins wrote:"I like a woman who's not afraid to not think."
-David Lampe, The Violet Underbelly, 4/16/11


This. Is. Wonderful.
"You've got to jump off the cliff all the time and build your wings on the way down." - Ray Bradbury
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Postby Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell » April 17th, 2011, 12:09 pm

Lampe runs a meat packing plant. Audrey runs a trucking company that transports his product. Audrey has just rejected Lampe's sexual advances.

Lampe: Well, i'll keep sending you my meat...
Audrey: And i'll keep shipping it on through!

also...

Deano: They killed my best friend...i don't remember his name!
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Postby Spaztique » April 17th, 2011, 8:52 pm

Another great monologue from the April 16 Violet Underbelly show:

Roy: Ever seen a forest fire?
Jon: Yeah, in the papers.
Roy: I mean really see one? It all starts with something as small as a cigarette. The next thing you know, part of the forest bursts in flames, and then it spreads all over the forest in less than a minute. Ducks and bears go running for their lives. Big oak trees that have stood there for hundreds of years get burned down instantaneously. A few minutes later, it's all gone... But then, from the ashes, a few saplings start to pop up. Give it a couple hundred years, those saplings will grow big, and the forest will be good as new.
Jon: Well then... This problem is the cigarette, and we are the one-hundred-year-old oak trees burning to the ground, and I do not want to be replaced by some two-bit sapling!
Last edited by Spaztique on April 18th, 2011, 9:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Ruby W. » April 18th, 2011, 9:27 am

Spaztique wrote:Another great monologue from the April 16 Violet Underbelly show:

Jon: Well then... This problem is the cigarette, and we are the oak trees, and I do not want to be replaced by a little sapling!


Correction: He said "Then, we are the 100-year old oak trees burning to the ground. and I do NOT WANT TO BE REPLACED BY SOME TWO-BIT SAPLING TAKING MY PLACE."

(the "two-bit" was my favorite part).
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Postby Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell » April 18th, 2011, 11:24 am

the slight pun on "sap"ling was what got me. :)
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Postby Justin D. » April 19th, 2011, 1:06 am

That's a good line, but Jon's best line of the night wasn't even a line. It was a sneer.

Image

I loved Halyn's diplomatic demon voice in last week's Maestro.

Demon Halyn: Eat the laundry basket.
Halyn: C'mon, that's not even possible.
Demon Halyn: Do it!
Halyn: *bites laundry basket* See. Be reasonable, Demon Voice.
Demon Halyn, meekly: Okay.
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Postby Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell » April 19th, 2011, 8:44 am

Justin D. wrote:That's a good line, but Jon's best line of the night wasn't even a line. It was a sneer.

Image


i like that almost as much as his feet waving back and forth when Lampe picked him up off the ground. which was also a favorite moment...

after punching Lampe a few times in the face, Clink gets up in his face.

Clink: You don't like my photographs? You don't like my photographs?
(Lampe picks Clink off the ground up to face level, shaking him)
Lampe: I LIKE YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS!
(Lampe throws Clink back. Clink takes best stage fall i've ever seen.)

;)
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Postby shando » April 23rd, 2011, 7:57 am

Last night in The Derby. Deano, indignant that Heiberg had made him and Amy Averett compete head to head to see how many names of people in the audience they knew.

"C'mon man, that's not an improv game, that's a carnival game."
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Postby kaci_beeler » April 23rd, 2011, 9:05 am

shando wrote:Last night in The Derby. Deano, indignant that Heiberg had made him and Amy Averett compete head to head to see how many names of people in the audience they knew.

"C'mon man, that's not an improv game, that's a carnival game."


haha! That's so Deano! I can hear his voice saying that in my head.
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Postby karenjanedewitt » April 23rd, 2011, 3:24 pm

ColdTowne on 4/18, Local Genius Society's discussion of pop music...

Zac Grantham: I especially hate it when pop stars have symbols in their names.
Me: Yeah, what's wrong with the alphabet? 26 letters isn't enough?

AHAHA I'm so fahny!
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Postby Justin D. » April 23rd, 2011, 8:53 pm

kaci_beeler wrote:
shando wrote:Last night in The Derby. Deano, indignant that Heiberg had made him and Amy Averett compete head to head to see how many names of people in the audience they knew.

"C'mon man, that's not an improv game, that's a carnival game."


haha! That's so Deano! I can hear his voice saying that in my head.


What else is Deano's voice in your head telling you?
Last edited by Justin D. on April 24th, 2011, 11:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell » April 24th, 2011, 3:49 am

karenjanedewitt wrote:ColdTowne on 4/18, Local Genius Society's discussion of pop music...

Zac Grantham: I especially hate it when pop stars have symbols in their names.
Me: Yeah, what's wrong with the alphabet? 26 letters isn't enough?

AHAHA I'm so fahny!


i officially pass on my crown as most narcississtic improvisor in town...
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Postby mpbrockman » April 24th, 2011, 6:43 am

Rev. Jordan T. Maxwell wrote:i officially pass on my crown as most narcississtic improvisor in town...


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Postby Brad Hawkins » April 30th, 2011, 10:41 pm

"I don't like free-range chicken. You can taste their hope."
-- Kevin, Student Maestro, 4/29/11

(anybody know Kevin's last name?)
The silver knives are flashing in the tired old cafe. A ghost climbs on the table in a bridal negligee. She says "My body is the life; my body is the way." I raise my arm against it all and I catch the bride's bouquet.
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