Abusive Relationships

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Postby Spots » September 12th, 2012, 8:43 pm

Strength! That same kind of denial you outlined in your own family, victims of abuse face isolation because reality is such a difficult pill to swallow for those closest to them. Time and time again. This is no fluke.


The family made you feel guilty that your uncle abused you? While it doesn't surprise me -- shame on them! That kind of denial is inexcusable. Inexcusable.

Our emotional needs as humans are constantly at odds with our families, simply because they have imaginary roles they need us to fulfill.

I'm so sorry to hear your story but also strengthened by your own account of self realization.


Denial is brutal but you and I share that brand of personal determination and strength that says "damn the haters and deniers. I know what happened and choose to grow from this."

Break the cycle of abuse.

Good for you for going public. I don't know why you would feel weird about it. It's clear to me that you are demonstrating strength and not looking to play the victim.

And as should be clear with me... the public dialog pushes me in one direction. Not turning back. I can count on you years from now to say, "Jesse please tell me you didn't let the abuser back into your life."

As I will do the same for you.

I got your back! Glad to meet you!
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Postby diamond9 » September 12th, 2012, 10:25 pm

Very well said, Jesse. My name is Celena, by the way. And very nice to meet you brother. Thank you for sharing. I was strengthened by your sharing to share my story.

Looking back on my post, my feeling weird about sharing was just a ghost echo of my mother's voice.

And I got your back too!!!!
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Postby Spots » September 13th, 2012, 12:01 am

Celena! Good to have a name with a face. :)





[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75jQZ1vnJqo[/youtube]
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Postby Brad Hawkins » September 13th, 2012, 12:20 pm

Celena, thank you for having the courage to share your experience.
The silver knives are flashing in the tired old cafe. A ghost climbs on the table in a bridal negligee. She says "My body is the life; my body is the way." I raise my arm against it all and I catch the bride's bouquet.
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Postby mpbrockman » September 13th, 2012, 6:27 pm

diamond9 wrote:...my feeling weird about sharing was just a ghost echo of my mother's voice.


I identify with this Celena. The voice in my head that tells me I'm worthless sounds remarkably like my father. Best to you.
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Postby diamond9 » September 14th, 2012, 1:33 pm

Thanks, all!

And in all fairness, my parents DO have love for me. That doesn't excuse the behavior, but they are like a rabid dog - infected and dangerous but don't know it and it's up to me to draw boundaries and protect myself from getting bitten.

I've done a lot of transformational and personal development workshops and inner/spiritual work and practices. I constantly work on keeping my focus forward as I complete on the past. Some methodologies only focus forward and ignore the past, but I have found that until it's ceremoniously buried and grieved over, it keeps reappearing in different forms. "What you resist persists. What you can be with will let you be."

In spite of all the past stuff, I would say that other than some occasional reticence in certain situations, (for some reason I am still not my usual outgoing self off the stage in the improv scene but can still come across as shy), I am confident and grounded in who I am. I can definitely use my experiences to help guide others in their personal journey.

Grounded improv can actually be a powerful tool. NOT a substitute if someone truly needs therapy, but it can help you be with so many things. I did a lot of it with a friend who is a local indie film maker and teaches private acting lessons. Probably no one you've heard of, but he is also a powerful intuitive and life coach and brings that to his classes to help take you places where it's hard to tread. One of the most powerful breakthroughs I had was a grounded improv scene where I was coached through being with anger. Heh... I probably could use more exercises in that area.

But anyway, I am rambling and must get back to work. I am so loving the Austin improv scene and haven't even been around much. I truly hope I am able to take this far enough to get to play with some of you for reals!!!
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Postby mpbrockman » September 14th, 2012, 4:45 pm

diamond9 wrote:Grounded improv can actually be a powerful tool.


Yeah. My take on it is here http://www.hideouttheatre.com/rockman

Not doing self-promo thing, just didn't feel like typing it all again.

-MPB
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Yup

Postby Ryan Hill » September 18th, 2012, 4:53 pm

I just want to say I love the courage in this thread. This kind of vulnerability is very healing.
"The raft is used to cross the river. It isn't to be carried around on your shoulders. The finger which points at the moon isn't the moon itself."
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Postby Spots » September 19th, 2012, 3:17 am

Well I want to stress that this whole process takes time. There are others reading this thread who are in no state to stand up against the abuse. Or even recognize it as an abusive relationship. Because we love the abuser-- we can sense warmth from something so distorted and uncalled for. For years. Thirty years in my case.

Whether its a month from now or five years from now-- get it off your chest. Recognize that the patterns of abuse are possibly stronger than the glimpse of truth you see one moment to the next. You can and will be pulled back. That compulsion is the deepest cut. Recognize your own yearning for the abuser. Go above it. Contact someone, a friend or fellow improviser. Email me. Let someone know you suspect abuse. You don't have to be beaten in order to be oppressed as a human being. We're all here for you. We all have your back.
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Re: Abusive Relationships

Postby Spots » April 10th, 2016, 8:30 am

Bump.
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