Best Show Lines 1886

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Best Show Lines 1886

Postby joplin » August 22nd, 2012, 2:29 pm

Here's a place where we can post our favorite show lines from the late 1800's I put 86 b/c we all know what a classic year it was. But feel free to do anything as long as it's not from the 90's. Cool. I'll start us off.

(scene takes place in a barn)

Whitman: Let's tidy up these hay bales and get our fuck on.
Alcott: I'm going to keep wearing what I am, thank you.
Whitman: Hmmm?
Alcott: Ponder that.
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Postby dorseyjen » August 22nd, 2012, 3:00 pm

And who can forget that classic gag where Lincoln's corpse yells at Grover Cleveland
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Postby kaci_beeler » August 22nd, 2012, 3:21 pm

Older Woman: Tsk tsk, your hemline is brushing the tops of your boots, my dear!
Younger Woman: *cold stare*
Older Women: Humph!
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Postby kbadr » August 22nd, 2012, 3:40 pm

William Tweed: This fish is as flat as a board...and twice as slippery!
City Cop: *blink blink*
William Tweed: I think you'll find that was humorous *slips $20 bill into cop's jacket pocket*
City Cop: HAHAHAHA...wait, didn't you die 8 years ago
William Tweed: I think you'll find I'm still quite alive *slips ghost $20 bill into cop's jacket pocket*
City Cop: *blink blink*

You work your life away and what do they give?
You're only killing yourself to live

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Postby Mike » August 22nd, 2012, 3:50 pm

Actors on stage: "We need a suggestion for a play that's never been performed before."


Actor: "Excellent! When the lights come up....."
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Postby Jastroch » August 22nd, 2012, 5:06 pm

Mike wrote:Actors on stage: "We need a suggestion for a play that's never been performed before."


Actor: "Excellent! When the lights come up....."

Too soon!

"Racewater dishtrack. Finese red dirt warfs. Media my volumn swiftly" - Arrogant.
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Postby Alex B » August 22nd, 2012, 11:08 pm

Improviser with wig: "We need a suggestion of anything at all..."

Audience member with wig shoots live musket at stage.

Improviser: "Thank you. When the lights come up."
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Postby Spots » August 23rd, 2012, 4:18 am

I was a big fan of that visiting troupe. The one with "Swishy Bucket" as a suggestion.

[all at once]

"Twence forth my jolly man!"

"Pish posh Myriam. Sire gits me quilty."

"Fr'sjshhsmm mah boy! Fruth froth and all thengs mighty!"

"Ahh righ' you arr guv'ner."

"Lavvveeeeruuumm Up! Laaaaaveeeerummm Up!"


*church bells*
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Postby mdalonzo » August 24th, 2012, 2:57 pm

British Regent: Happy Birthday, my Queen (presents her a scroll)
Queen Victoria: What is it?
British Regent: It's Burma.
Queen Victoria: Come again?
British Regent: Don't mind if I do!
"Oh, shit. We're being pulled over."
"Is it us?"
"No, it's someone else, and he's pulling us over to tell us who it is, like a courtesy"
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